Tag: inspiration

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Bookish Things Books heart and soul

A Gift Guide for Deep Girls: Books, Journals, and Treasures to Inspire Reflection

deep girls

Deep girls are the ones who linger in thought long after the conversation ends, who find meaning in the details others might overlook. They are the journalers, the ponderers, the ones who light candles and sit quietly, exploring  their own feelings and thoughts.

If you have a deep girl in your life, she’ll be the one who doesn’t do surface conversations or idle chatter. She’ll talk to you about her latest read or something insightful she has learnt.  She’ll be the one who is always looking for connections between the world around her and the world within. She loves wisdom, mystery and making things meaningful.

Often deep girls are misunderstood. They think deeply, and often express themselves in ways that others might find hard to grasp. Their introspection can make them appear distant. 

For deep girls, being known is not about being noticed or admired on the surface, but about being understood at the core of who they are. 

And so, here are a few gift ideas for the deep girl in your life, treasures that inspire reflection, creativity, and connection. 

My Books: Gifts of Light and Reflection

If You’re Looking for Brightness

This book is my most recent release, and it’s a collection of poems, reflections, and insights about finding light in life’s complexities. It’s the perfect companion for anyone seeking inspiration and clarity. 

A Strong and Fragile Thing

Deep girls love to muse, and this book is brimming with musings in reflection on the wisdom and wonder of the natural world. It’s the perfect companion for her to take out into nature, where she can read and see what rises to meet her.

The Remains of Burning Book and Journal

For the deep girl who is wading through pain and seeking renewal, this book and therapeutic journal is the perfect gift. I wrote it during and after one of the most emotionally distressing periods of my life out of a desire to validate the disqualified and consolidate the grieved. It’s an offering of words for those pained by lost dreams and relationships; words for when what you thought would never happen, happens. 

Treasures for Reflective Practice

A Beautiful Journal

A beautiful journal is an essential tool for reflection. Look for one with thick, high-quality paper and an inspiring cover. I recommend journals from Papier or Archer & Olive for their designs and durability. 

However, my absolute favourite journals are Paperblanks. Known for their intricate cover designs inspired by cultural motifs, classic literature, and historical art, they feel like holding a piece of art in your hands. The covers often feature textures, metallic foiling, and embossed patterns, giving them a luxurious and timeless appeal.

Luxury Candles

Candles create a calming atmosphere, and deep girls love them as they are perfect for night journaling or calming creative activities. Choose one with a soothing scent to enhance a reflective practice. Brands like P.F. Candle Co. or local artisans often offer unique, hand-poured options.

My personal favourite, is Glasshouse Candles. Whether it’s for relaxation, celebration, or simply to elevate everyday moments, Glasshouse Candles transform my space.

A Fountain Pen or Luxe Writing Tools

There’s something special about writing with a high-quality pen. Consider gifting a fountain pen or a set of smooth gel pens to elevate the journaling experience. Lamy and Pilot make excellent options.

A Reflection Deck or Prompt Cards

Now this is a product I dream of creating. Reflection decks provide daily prompts or affirmations to inspire thoughtful moments. Sets like The School of Life’s Prompt Cards or The Insight Deck are wonderful for deep thinkers. Deep girls also love quote cards and writing prompt cards.

A Cozy Throw Blanket

When taking time to contemplate, comfort is key. A soft, warm blanket is a simple yet thoughtful addition to any reflective practice. Other comforts you can give her are a pair of plush socks or slippers, a meditation pillow or an inspired art print to make her space feel more serene and personal.

Wrapping it up

When looking for a gift for the deep girl in your world all you need to remember is, deep girls appreciate thoughtfulness and authenticity. They love gifts that reflect who they are—books with meaning, journals to pour their hearts into, or cosy comforts that make their reflective moments special. 

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heart and soul

6 Inspiring Quotes from Women Who Inspire Me

inspiring quotes

Today, I want to share a few inspiring quotes that have truly touched me over the past month. Each one is from a woman whose words have lifted me during moments of ambiguity: Brianna Wiest, Morgan Harper Nichols, Amy McGee, Maggie Smith, Orna Ross, and Cleo Wade. These remarkable women bring messages of resilience, hope, and the transformative power of creativity. I hope their words resonate with you as deeply as they have with me.

“Instead of being held by what haunts you, be pulled by what calls you.” 

— Brianna Wiest  

Brianna Wiest’s writing encourages me to embrace life with the courage to create, to quiet the chatter, and to connect deeply with what truly compels. In her book ‘Ceremony’, this line stirred something within.

I love the thought of being ‘pulled,’ compelled toward something meaningful and magnetic. This inspiring quote reminds me to shift from dwelling on disappointments, to discovering new delights and ask questions I hadn’t considered before.

“Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide.”

— Morgan Harper Nichols  

Morgan’s words carry a comforting warmth, like a friend gently reminding me of my strength. In her book ‘All Along You Were Blooming’, she captures the power of storytelling as a shared source of healing—not only for ourselves, but also for those who might follow.

After reading this line, I felt inspired to seek out stories, to listen to new voices, and to uncover words that resonate with my own experiences. This led me to healing words—the very words I needed to hear.

“Be brave enough to keep growing.” 

— Amy McNee  

When I first came across Amy McNee on Instagram, I dismissed her as a try-hard, even saying to myself, “Oh, that’s so cringe.” But today, Amy stands as a creative powerhouse, inspiring people across the world.

Her life, shared openly on social media, has become a lighthouse for me—especially on days when I have to face my own awful art. She’s taught me that there’s no shame in being seen trying and that creating purely for the love of it is enough.

This simple quote captures so much of what Amy McNee is about. As a creative coach and a true embodiment of courage, Amy’s unwavering self-belief has been a beacon of inspiration for me.

At times, I lose sight of the fact that creativity isn’t about producing something perfect but about nurturing growth. Amy has helped me understand that it’s okay to create “cringy” art—it’s the only way to eventually create something beautiful.  

“Accept that you are a work in progress, both a revision and a draft: you are better and more complete than earlier versions of yourself, but you also have work to do.” 

— Maggie Smith  

Maggie Smith’s words serve as a powerful reminder that there is beauty in being a “work in progress.” Her quote encouraged me to not see my flaws as failures.  In ‘Keep Moving’, she shares that we don’t need to have everything figured out to move forward; growth is ongoing.

Each new version of ourselves builds on the last, moving us closer to who we’re becoming. This inspiring quote helped me to embrace transformation with patience and purpose.

“It’s good to have an end in mind but in the end what counts is how you travel.” 

— Orna Ross  

This quote by Orna reminded me that creativity is a way to care; it should be a pathway to health rather than a source of stress. For me, creativity is more than just making things; it’s about how I organise my life, the way I give back, and the intention behind each contribution. 

When I approach it mindfully, creativity becomes a wellspring of well-being, bringing balance, joy, and calm. This shift transforms creating into a source of strength and resilience. I find that the process itself grounds me, helping me stay present and connected to what matters. It shows me that creativity isn’t just about what we produce—how we travel shapes us, making each step just as fulfilling as the final outcome.

“It was time, so I said yes. I said yes to living, I said yes to loving, I said yes to being… myself, illuminated and unafraid.”  

— Cleo Wade  

Cleo Wade’s words inspire me to approach each moment with a little more courage and a lot more acceptance. Reading this, I felt encouraged to bring more of myself into everyday life, to embrace both new experiences and everyday moments without hesitation. 

Wade’s words makes me realise that living fully doesn’t mean waiting for perfect conditions; it means opening myself to life as I am, finding joy in simply showing up, and bringing all of myself—unafraid.

Each of these inspiring quotes holds wisdom that encourages us to be brave, creative, and mindful. I hope these voices speak to you and help you feel inspired today. As we go forward, let’s keep the words that inspire us close, allowing them to guide us toward growth. I’d love for you to share the quotes that inspire you with me.

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heart and soul

Unlocking Your True Brightness: Steps to Overcome Self-Doubt.

self doubt

We all experience times of uncertainty—those moments when self-doubt shadows our confidence and leads us to question our capabilities, value, or decisions. I’ve experienced paralyzing self doubt, and understand the weight it can carry. 

However, I firmly believe that within each of us is an inherent brilliance, ready to emerge even during periods of self-doubt. Here are some strategies that have aided me in pushing past these doubts to fully embrace who I am. I hope you find them equally empowering.

Acknowledge Your Self-Doubt

First things first, let’s be real about our self-doubt. It’s okay to admit when you’re feeling insecure or unsure. I’ve learned that pushing these feelings away only makes them stronger. Instead, try to name your self-doubt when it shows up. Say to yourself, “I’m feeling unsure right now,” and acknowledge that it’s a normal part of being human. Just naming it can make it feel less powerful.

I also suggest writing those exact words down, as this is a way of spotlighting the emotion. Spotlighting is when we force ourselves to look directly at what we’re feeling, providing a clearer view and understanding of our emotions. This practice can demystify overwhelming feelings and aid in processing them more effectively.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

Self-doubt often comes from negative thoughts that loop in our minds—those “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do this” thoughts. I’ve found it helpful to gently challenge these thoughts. 

Ask yourself: Is this really true? What evidence do I have that proves this thought wrong? Often, you’ll find that the doubt isn’t based on facts but on fear. Reframing these thoughts into more positive or neutral ones can make a huge difference in how you feel.

Celebrate Small Wins

When self-doubt is running high, it’s easy to overlook our achievements. Start by celebrating the small wins, no matter how tiny they might seem. Did you step out of your comfort zone today? Did you complete a task you’ve been dreading? Give yourself credit for these moments. I’ve found that acknowledging even the smallest successes builds confidence over time and slowly pushes self-doubt to the side. 

Just as one might compile a gratitude list to foster a sense of thankfulness, consider creating a list of small wins for five consecutive days, emphasising every achievement, no matter how small. This practice helps to build a positive mindset by recognising and celebrating each step forward.

Surround Yourself with Support

Self-doubt thrives in isolation. When I feel unsure of myself, reaching out to supportive friends, family, or mentors makes a world of difference. Find those people who believe in you and lift you up. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re feeling with someone who understands can make that self-doubt shrink to a manageable size.

If you don’t have anyone in your life who fits this description, consider seeking a mentor from afar. There are many individuals whose coaching and mentoring might be accessible to you through their books, online courses, or videos, even if you never meet them in person. When you engage with their content, tell yourself it was written just for you.

Practice Self-Compassion

This one has been a game-changer for me. Instead of beating myself up for feeling self-doubt, I’ve started practicing self-compassion. Journaling is a fantastic tool to do this. This act of self-expression allows you to process feelings of inadequacy or failure gently, acknowledging them without self-criticism. 

A journaling exercise to promote self-compassion involves the prompt, “What I need to hear right now is…” This simple start helps you articulate the supportive words and affirmations you need, allowing you to offer yourself kindness and reassurance directly. This practice strengthens self-compassion by letting you be both the giver and receiver of encouragement.

Take Action, Even When It Feels Scary

Self-doubt often wants to keep us stuck, but I’ve found that taking small, consistent actions can help break its grip. It might feel scary to take that first step, but action breeds confidence. Start with something manageable, and slowly build up from there. The more you act despite your doubts, the more you’ll prove to yourself that you are capable and strong.

My word for 2024 is “consistency.” I gave myself one task: to stay consistent in what I wanted to create. Whenever I feel self-doubt, remembering this task helps me to keep going. This focus on consistency has been key in making steady progress toward my goals.

Remember Your Brightness

Finally, always remember that your true brightness is already within you. It doesn’t disappear just because self-doubt shows up. When I remind myself of this, I feel a little lighter, a little braver. You have unique gifts, talents, and qualities that make you shine. Trust in that, and know that even on your toughest days, your light is still there.

My new book, “Looking for Brightness,” explores the theme of discovering the light within ourselves. If you’re experiencing self-doubt, the words in “Looking for Brightness” might be just what you need.

if you're looking for brightness
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heart and soul life lessons

Finding Light in Everyday Moments

Finding Light

I recognise that when we are in the depths of struggle, advice can sometimes feel dismissive or simplistic. So, I approach this thoughtfully: Could it be possible that within our toughest moments, there might be light that, when we’re ready, could help guide us toward healing or understanding? Could it be that every moment eventually shines in some way?

When Pain Becomes a Teacher

I know what you’re thinking: “How could my pain possibly be a gift? Imagine being hurt by someone you trusted deeply. Think about the confusion that followed, the way broken trust impacted your life. Consider how, for a period of time, the pain gripped you tightly. But now, as you look back, can you see how that pain might have shielded you from continuing in unhealthy or insincere relationships? Can you recognise how pain, in its harsh way, might have led you to a path of self-discovery and growth?

I believe at times, experiences that initially seem devastating can ultimately reveal themselves as profoundly beneficial. It might not be apparent immediately, but hidden within these challenging times often lies something significant. 

Stepping away from difficult environments enabled me to forge more genuine connections and gain a clearer understanding of my identity and true needs. Tough chapters, turned out, to be steering me towards a more authentic narrative. Some might call this grace, finding unlooked-for goodness in the trials we face.

Letting Go to Grow

Releasing what we hold onto—whether it’s people, places, dreams, or even our own expectations—can be one of the most challenging things to do. I’ve had to let go of more than I ever thought I would. But here’s what I’ve discovered: Each time I let go and face the deep sorrow of losing what I cherished, I find that I am gradually making space for new understandings and connections that reflect who I am becoming.

For example, When I was young, I had to say goodbye to someone I cared about deeply, which seemed unbearable at the time. But in hindsight, that goodbye saved me from a future filled with complications and hurt that would have been much worse. It opened the door for new opportunities, new relationships, and new growth. 

Through this experience, I began to realise that letting go of what I think I want might just help me find what I truly need. 

Finding Light in Everyday Life

Sometimes, the good things come in the most ordinary packages. I remember a time when I didn’t get the creative recognition I was hoping for. At first, it felt like a setback, but looking back, I see it was sparing me from exposure I wasn’t ready to handle.

Little exposure pushed me towards genuine creative connections.  It forced me to sharpen my skills and work on myself. Most importantly, it led me to true supporters, the people who deeply appreciated and resonated with my work. 

Sometimes, grace is found in what ‘doesn’t’ happen — like a seemingly failed venture. It might be hard to hear, but sometimes, what we miss can protect us.

Trust in the Unfolding of Things

Here’s a thought to consider; perhaps grace doesn’t align with unhealthy habits or attachments. It seems to partner with wisdom, taking a long view that prioritises our health over our desires.

Life offers wisdom, and wisdom doesn’t always give us what we want — it gives us what we need to grow healthier and stronger. Maybe sometimes, it saves us from ourselves — from our own ambitions, attachments, or dreams that are actually holding us back.

Wise Words About Suffering

I know what you’re thinking, “where is light in life’s darkest moments—like war, childhood deaths, or profound suffering?’ Well having never experienced war, or horrific circumstances I can only quote someone who has, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” 

Frankl believed that even in the face of unimaginable horrors, there is the possibility of finding a sense of purpose or meaning that can transform suffering into something bearable, even redemptive.

Following Light, Finding the Way

Here’s a thought that might resonate: Perhaps life doesn’t always make sense, and it certainly doesn’t always feel good, but maybe there’s a way it nudges us toward light, even when we can’t see it ourselves. 

Maybe grace is real and is working in ways we don’t fully understand, slowly helping to reconcile our hearts and minds, tending to the parts of us that need healing, and quietly guiding us toward a purpose that fits who we are becoming.

Maybe we fair best when we believe that every moment, every situation, holds value and even in the hardest moments, there is light to be found. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to see the good that are right in front of us.

Maybe looking for light in unexpected places, although challenging, isn’t engaging in toxic positivity, but rather embracing the complexity of life with honesty.

Maybe allowing ourselves to acknowledge the pain we feel while remaining open to the possibility that there could still be moments of grace, growth, or insight hidden within is a good way to live.

if you're looking for brightness
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Books Creativity Publishing

 AI Interviews Me About My New Book ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’

If you're looking for brightness

Just for fun, I decided to let artificial intelligence pose questions to me about my new book, ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness.’  Here are the questions AI asked (written in bold) and my personal responses:

 ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’ explores the deeply resonant theme of  finding light. What inspired you to write this collection, and how does the title reflect the themes within your book?”

I think one of the major lessons I’ve learnt over the last five years is that you can find light almost anywhere. When I say light I mean more than just brightness. I mean truth. I mean clarity. 

I’ve experienced deep confusion, cognitive dissonance actually, which means I’ve suffered mental discomfort and tension through holding two or more opposing beliefs. For me, this uncertainty was sparked by conflicting ideas about trust. What was being said and what was being shown were inconsistent.

The book’s title is a call to all those who need to find the light in their experience. In it I share the four places where light seems to radiate the most, in love, in pain, in living things and within my own heart. 

Are there any poems that hold special significance to you?”

Every piece has a backstory. But if I had to choose one off the top of my head it would be ‘De- (a prefix meaning intensive) Light’. It’s a piece about noting the sublime experiences in our lives and using good memories to illuminate present darkness. Let me share it with you.

‘De- (a prefix meaning intensive) Light’

i.

Love likes to catch us off guard.

ii.

At the age of thirty-something I found myself
singing to a crowd under a mock-up trojan horse
on the edge of the Dardanelles Strait in Turkey.
Ever since that day, I keep asking myself,
‘Did that really happen?’

iii.

I was once crowned
the ‘Queen of Love and Beauty’.
It happened when an actor,
dressed as a knight,
picked me from an arena of contenders
one surreal Saturday at Medieval Times.

iv.

In my teens I wrote to an organisation.
They put my note in their newsletter.
In those days nobody needed permission.
When I received my copy,
I read it continuously; astonished.
My words on their paper.
My thoughts in other heads.

v.

Consider the sublime, moments when
reality feels like a dream, and tell
your tired heart to stay open to surprise.

Your manuscript frequently references light in natural settings. Can you talk about how nature contributes to the healing process described in your poems?”

I grew up in church. I belonged to a ‘twice on sunday and multiple times of week’ kind of family. We were real deal ‘churchies’. Inside the church I found a community that championed me. Encouragement was part of the infrastructure. As a child and teen there was nowhere else I wanted to be.  It was my safe place, where I genuinely felt known and loved. 

Fast forward to 2015: I’m 37, with three kids, and my husband is an executive pastor who has been working at the same church for 16 years. Suddenly, despite ten years of repeated promises of succession, he was made redundant. This decision was intensely confusing to me and so I sort to respectfully ask questions, to which no one could or cared to answer.

As a result, I started to ask other questions about the church and the doctrine I had been taught. I felt drawn to a more contemplative approach to my faith. Instead of gathering in buildings, attending services, or participating in the routine of church activities, I began seeking spiritual practice elsewhere, mainly because the original practices were triggering and felt disingenuous to observe. I went to beaches, walked through the bush, or sat by the lake and found nature far more healing than singing or sermons.

Could you describe your creative process when writing this book? 

Everything I write begins with a seed of resonance—whether it’s a quote, a word, a story, a memory, or an emotion. Once I have that seed, I start writing (with pen and paper), imagining how to convey what I want to say in as few words as possible. I visualise the shape of the piece on the page and how it connects to the themes of the book.

Next, I rewrite the finished poem onto a loose piece of paper, editing as I go. These loose pages are then arranged in a carefully considered order and typed into a Word document for further refinement.

Finally, I format the book in InDesign. Of course, more editing follows until I feel it’s time to set it aside and return with fresh eyes. After a few more tweaks, and when I finally feel ready for the world to see it, I publish.

What impact do you hope ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’ will have on its readers? Are there specific feelings or revelations you aim to evoke?

I want ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’ to illuminate the space where readers are. Whether that be in a place of despair, a season of loneliness, a state of disappointment, or a moment of uncertainty. 

The subtitle, ‘Finding Light,’ is as clear as I could put it. I want readers to find the light they need or at least by reading where I found it, know where to look in their own lives.

Lastly, what were some of the challenges you faced while writing this book?

Firstly, having to write a lot of “crappy” poems before finding a little gold. The process of sifting through words and drafts felt daunting at times. There is nothing more discouraging than encountering your own incompetence. Every person who seeks to write a book must continue to believe they can write the work that is in heart, even as their own writing insists it is beyond them.

Second, writing about light itself proved tricky. It’s an abstract concept when not referring to its physical properties.  I had to find ways to ground those abstract ideas in tangible experiences.

Finally, visiting painful narratives was a real challenge. In the section titled ‘The Light in Pain,’ I had to face my own unresolved questions, especially when those who could have provided answers chose not to. It was difficult to frame a narrative that made sitting with these difficult experiences not only bearable but also illuminating.

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Books

Spring Reads: A Celebration of Nature’s Wisdom and Wonder

Spring Reads

As the days get longer and spring shows its colours, it’s the perfect time to match our reading with the season. Just like enjoying fresh strawberries in summer, crisp apples in fall, or hearty root vegetables in winter, picking books that fit the season can make your reading experience feel special and timely. 

This spring, why not dive into stories about new beginnings and growth?

The books recommended in this post are a great way to connect with the season and find inspiration in the way nature comes back to life. It’s a unique chance each year to see how nature’s revival can mirror our own journeys through engaging stories.

Spring looks different depending on where you live. In some places, they talk about the woods, but in Australia, we just call it the bush. And while many talk about meadows, we have paddocks here. The books I recommend talk about spring from these different settings, but they all touch on something we all feel: that fresh start as winter fades away.

It’s amazing how, no matter where we are, seeing the earth come alive again can stir something deep inside us, making us feel connected and rejuvenated.

Nature Poetry

1. The Wild Iris” by Louise Glück

Louise Glück’s Pulitzer Prize-winning collection really brings the magic of spring to life. In her poems, it’s as if the flowers and plants themselves are talking to us, sharing their stories of growth and survival. It’s a beautiful, slightly haunting read that celebrates the resilience found in nature’s quiet moments.

2. Bright Wings: An Illustrated Anthology of Poems about Birds, edited by Billy Collins

Spring isn’t complete without the sound of birds singing. “Bright Wings” is a gorgeous collection of poems about birds, curated by former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins.

The book pairs poetry with lovely illustrations, making it a treat for both the eyes and the soul. It’s a perfect pick if you love taking a moment to enjoy the beauty around you.

3. Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver, by Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver is a must-read if you love nature poetry. “Devotions” gathers some of her best work, taking you on a peaceful stroll through meadows and woods. Her poems are a gentle reminder to look closely at the world around us and find joy in the simple things.

Books About Blooming

1. Gathering Moss: A Natural and Cultural History of Mosses, by Robin Wall Kimmerer is thoughtful non-fiction choice that intertwines scientific knowledge with personal reflection. Through her exploration of moss, Kimmerer, reflects on the ways these small, often overlooked plants teach lessons about living a simple, yet rich life. 

This book offers a unique perspective on growth, resilience, and the importance of connecting with the natural world around us, perfect for those interested in seeing the larger lessons in small, everyday wonders.

2. The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate – Discoveries from a Secret World, by Peter Wohlleben gives you a sneak peek into the amazing world of trees. Peter shows us how trees are more than just  timber—they communicate, support each other, and form communities much like our own. 

It’s a book that really makes you see nature as a network of connections, where every part relies on another, kind of like how everything comes together in the spring to create something beautiful.

3. A Strong and Fragile Thing, by Lauren Lott (that’s me) proclaims that nature shows us the mix of strength and delicacy in life—how new beginnings come with power, but nature itself can be so fragile. In “A Strong and Fragile Thing,” I dive into these contrasts with my own reflections. 

Writing this book was a way for me to heal, letting nature’s quiet wisdom mend my heart as the seasons turned. I personify nature in my writing, seeing it almost as a wise friend who offers little nuggets of insight.

Let this book inspire you to find your own springtime moments, where nature can quietly share little bits of wisdom with you. 

Embracing the Lessons of Spring

As you dive into these books and poems, let yourself really connect with the gentle lessons that nature offers. Let the quiet wisdom of the changing world inspire your season of renewal.

Whether it’s the soothing words of a poem or the deep insights from a book, these spring reads are here to refresh your perspective. They’ll fill your heart with wonder and open your mind to the little bits of wisdom that spring up all around us. Enjoy your reading!

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

The Slow Unfolding: Understanding Life’s Lessons Years Later

trust the proccess

The Puzzle Pieces We Don’t See

Most of us experience  something that leaves us puzzled? I’m talking about insurmountable challenges that at the time, felt frustrating and confusing.  It’s like being handed a piece of a puzzle without knowing what the full picture looks like. You wonder, “How could this happen? What am I supposed to learn from this?”

For years, I held onto pieces, unsure of how they fit into the bigger picture of my life. Moments of heartbreak, missed opportunities, and struggles that I couldn’t make sense of have become in hindsight, years later, experiences that shaped me into the person I am today.

When Time Becomes Your Teacher

I have learnt that  life’s lessons don’t often reveal themselves right away. Sometimes, we need the gift of time to gain the perspective necessary to understand them. I’ve found that as I grow older, I can look back on past experiences with new eyes. What once seemed like a random series of events now feels more like the unfolding of an inevitable story, with each chapter building upon the last.

Although I do not believe that time heals all pain, I do believe that time allows us to see the purpose behind it. The seeds of the heartbreak I experienced in my thirties were planted in my young years. It was then that I gave others the responsibility for my life and fell in line, it was then that I gave up my power. And it is now that I recognize the necessity of embracing my own autonomy, understanding that the choices I make today are not dictated by the past, but by the clarity and courage I have found within.

It’s comforting to know that even in the thick of it—when we’re feeling lost, confused, or hurt—something is still unfolding; we are headed somewhere, and every struggle calls us to become more of who we truly are. Time is the teacher that helps us put the pieces together.

Trusting the process

One of the hardest things to do is to trust that eventually you will take something valuable from difficult situations. I’ve learned that just because I don’t have all the answers now doesn’t mean I won’t find them eventually. It’s like climbing a mountain: halfway up, after some climbing, I can see more than I did at the base. At the top, the view is clearer and wider. It takes time, but each step offers a broader, richer insight.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your feelings or pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge the confusion, the frustration, and the pain. But alongside those emotions, try to hold onto the belief that one day, you’ll look back and see how these experiences were guiding you toward something truer.

Celebrating the Unfolding

There’s something incredibly beautiful about the slow unfolding of life’s lessons. It’s like watching a flower bloom in slow motion, each petal revealing itself in its own time. When you finally get to that moment where some pieces fit together, it’s a cause for celebration. You realise all the questioning, and the uncertainty were necessary to forge a deeper understanding and appreciation of your experiences.

I’ve had moments where I suddenly understood why things happened the way they did, and why they couldn’t happen any other way.  The clarity that comes with these realisations is freeing. They helped me to understand my thoughts, feelings and actions and confront raw truths.

If you’re currently holding onto pieces of a puzzle that don’t seem to fit, know that time has a way of revealing deeper insights.  Trust in the slow unfolding, and remember that each experience, no matter how confusing or painful, can be rich in lessons that expand your understanding of both yourself and the world around you.

And to those who have been waiting for answers, for insight, for vindication or for justice for years I offer this: find peace in the unresolved. Peace is available even when answers are not.

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heart and soul life lessons

Narratives That Nurture: Stories That Heal Without Hiding Reality

Embracing the Full Story

For me, healing started when I accepted the whole story—all of it, the ups, when it comes to healing and growing, the stories we tell ourselves really do make a difference.

They comfort us, spark inspiration, and help us understand ourselves better. But if we want healing that goes deep and sticks around, we need stories that don’t shy away from everything we’ve been through, especially the tough stuff.

There’s often this pressure around us, or even from inside us, to just look at the bright side or find the “silver lining” in every situation. Sure, being optimistic is great, but it’s not so helpful when it makes us ignore or downplay the pain we feel.

The stories that really help us heal don’t just focus on the wins and the happy moments; they recognize the hurts and the tough times too. They let us see ourselves fully, without leaving anything out, and remind us that our pain doesn’t make us worth any less.

By facing the truth of our lives without covering up the tough parts, we build resilience and release ourselves from fantasies about what could, should or would be.

The Power of Keeping It Real

Think about the difference between a story that ends with “and they lived happily ever after” and one that goes, “they faced many challenges, but they grew with each one.”

The second story doesn’t hide the struggles or the pain; it includes them as part of the journey, showing that healing isn’t about making scars disappear but learning to see them as signs of our unique strength.

This approach doesn’t mean we focus on the pain for the sake of it but recognising it as a step towards understanding and peace.

A nurturing story doesn’t simplify the complicated emotions of trauma or grief; it opens a path through them. It makes room for reflection, anger, sadness, and eventually, acceptance, offering a complete approach to healing that respects every part of our human experience.

How to Build Stories That Heal

So, how do we start building these healing stories? I begin with journaling honestly. I don’t leave out the parts that seem too dark or too sad. I share these stories with friends I trust or in supportive groups where our stories are met with understanding and not judgment.

I also look for books, movies, and art that showcase this kind of honest storytelling. The story of Jonah from the Book of Jonah has been particularly helpful for me. 

Those familiar with it might recall how Jonah boards a ship, which then encounters a storm, causing the vessel to rock. This reminds me of a time when a relationship in my life became shaky.

As a result, Jonah was thrown overboard and swallowed by a whale. For me, the whale symbolises suffering, or you might say, the dark night of the soul. After I was asked to ‘leave the village’ because of this troubled relationship, I too found myself in the belly of suffering.

Eventually, Jonah is spat out onto a beach. Here, the story teaches me that my suffering was simply transportation—a way to move me from there to here, to a new place of freedom.

This narrative helps me to appreciate every aspect of my experience. I often ask myself, ‘Where would you rather be, on a rocky boat at sea with people willing to throw you overboard, or on a new beach?’

For those familiar with the original tale, you’ll see that I have made it my own. This means looking at the story as it speaks to my experience. I am aware that I am missing some plot points and as a result have made one story into two. However, I see no problem with remaining open and honoring both the context in which it was written and the myriad of interpretations it has accumulated over the centuries, as well as a new story that illustrates my experience and assists with healing.

This reimagining has led me to a narrative that fills me with gratitude—not only for the journey but also for the outcome, despite the pain, loss, and disappointment.

A Journey to True Healing

By choosing stories that nurture without hiding the tough realities, we empower ourselves to heal more fully and help others do the same. We learn how to use every part of our story as a source of strength.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and it’s different for everyone. It’s a personal process that does best with a realistic story—one that embraces all that life throws our way. By committing to heal without hiding anything, we commit to a life full of authenticity, resilience, and, ultimately, deeper joy.

Categories
life lessons Poetry Publishing

Finding Clarity: Reflections on Light

finding clarity

Let’s start with a poem.


Epiphany

Love is light,  
And so is the absence of love.  
It is both the way we are remembered  
And casually forgotten.  
It is the loyalty of a heart.  
It is the betrayal of a promise.  
Light is darkness and the flame.  
It is a face in full sun  
And a face wet with rain.  
Light is the climb and the descent.  
Both hunger pains and a belly full of bread.  
I see it in your eyes.  
I hear it in your words.  
I hold it in your absence.  
I be it in rebirth.

The Dual Nature of Light: Clarity and Shadows

When we think of light, we often envision clarity and warmth. It’s the glow of the sun on our faces, the flame that lights our path. 

Yet, light also reveals shadows, those hidden parts of ourselves and our relationships that we may not always wish to see. Just as love can bring us closer to others, it can also expose our vulnerabilities and fears.

Light as a Metaphor for Clarity

In this poem, light is a metaphor for clarity, a way to find our path in the darkness. In moments of confusion or doubt, it’s the light of understanding that guides us. 

As we navigate the complexities of life, finding clarity becomes crucial. We seek to understand our feelings, our relationships, and our place in the world.

Illuminating Hidden Truths

Both love and fear have the power to uncover hidden truths in our lives. Love reveals our capacity for deep connection, kindness, and selflessness, shedding light on the positive aspects of our relationships and interactions.

It can bring to the surface the ways we cherish and support others, highlighting the strengths we might not always recognize.

Conversely, fear exposes our vulnerabilities, insecurities, and the darker aspects of our experiences. It forces us to confront the issues we’ve avoided, revealing the areas where we need growth or healing. 

Together, love and fear act as illuminating forces, helping us to better understand ourselves and the world around us. By acknowledging both, we gain a more comprehensive and truthful perspective on our lives.

Finding Clarity in Both Presence and Absence

In the final lines of the poem “Epiphany,” we are reminded of the subtle ways we can find clarity through the words and deeds of others. “I see it in your eyes” suggests that body language often tells us profound truths that words might miss. 

“I hear it in your voice” emphasizes that both what is said and what is left unsaid can reveal deep insights into our relationships and experiences. “I hold it in your absence” highlights how actions, especially the lack thereof, can speak volumes and provide clarity about what truly matters. 

Finally, “I be it in rebirth” signifies that we can find light and clarity as we rebuild our lives after difficult times. By seeking light in both the presence and absence of things, we open ourselves to constant epiphanies. 

There is always light, even in the pitch-black darkness. In fact, the darkness itself can be a source of light. Your pain speaks as loudly as your joy, revealing deep truths.

Both the living and the dead illuminate wisdom and understanding. No matter where you are, there is light. Look for the lessons in every situation—they are the way forward.

—

The poem featured in this blog post is from my upcoming collection, “If You’re Looking for Brightness: Words on Light and Where to Find It,” coming in 2024.

Categories
Creativity life lessons

The Art of Reblooming: Finding Renewal and Growth

The art of reblooming

Having earned my diploma in floristry, I worked as a florist in the years after I left school. In that time, I learned a lot about flowers, and not just how to arrange them.

Flowers are amazing because they do so many things. They attract bees and other pollinators, help plants reproduce, and add to the diversity of life around us. Each flower has its own unique shape and colour, which shows how they’ve adapted to their environment. 

Working with flowers made me appreciate how they’re more than just pretty objects. They symbolise emotions, commemorate important moments in our lives, and maintain our connection to the natural world. Moreover, flowers represent growth and renewal, reminding us of the continuous cycles of life and the beauty of new beginnings.

Growth and renewal are fundamental aspects of life. This concept of reblooming—of coming into bloom again after a period of dormancy or decline—is a powerful metaphor for the resilience and renewal we can find within ourselves.

What Does Reblooming Mean?

In the world of floristry, reblooming is the phenomenon where plants flower more than once in their growing season. Similarly, in our lives, reblooming can mean recovering from setbacks, finding new energy after burnout, or embracing new beginnings after endings. It’s a reminder that it’s always possible to flourish again, despite past difficulties.

Embracing Life’s Cycles

Just as perennials in the garden bloom anew each season, we too can find opportunities for renewal at different stages of our lives. Recognizing that life is composed of cycles — each with its own time for growth and rejuvenation — helps us maintain hope and stay open to new possibilities.

How to Embrace Change and Reblooming

To successfully rebloom, embracing change is essential. Here’s how you can start:

-Let Go of the Past: Release old habits and beliefs that don’t serve your growth. This is akin to pruning dead flowers to make way for new growth.

Letting go is often a gradual process, like lifting one finger at a time before releasing something from your palm. It’s scary and lonely, and there’s often grief and doubt to navigate through. Sometimes, we have to let go of beliefs, people, or ways of living that we never imagined we would, making the shock of it all yet another aspect to process.

– Cultivate New Habits: Like a gardener nurturing their plants, cultivate habits and thoughts that encourage growth and positivity. Put yourself in the way of beauty, seeking out and appreciating the small wonders in everyday life.

Practice gratitude to shift your focus to the positive aspects of your experiences. Learn to be present, embracing each moment fully without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Embrace creativity and self-expression, allowing yourself the freedom to explore and develop your unique talents and passions. By doing so, you create a fertile environment for personal growth and fulfillment.

-Stay Open to Learning: Every phase of life has lessons to offer. Stay curious and open to the new insights each season brings. Learning is growing, and intentionally enrolling in education can move your life forward with assistance.

It’s like hopping on a train—the syllabus will take you somewhere, and by the time you have completed your study, you will have arrived at another destination. 

Learning is easier than ever, so don’t let time or finances get in the way. If you can’t afford to enroll in a course, commit to watching a series of YouTube videos about a subject, listening to a podcast series, or visiting your local or online library to indulge in learning.

Trust me when I say learning can be a lifeline.

The Benefits of Reblooming

Reblooming is not merely about recovery; it’s about reaching new levels of growth and understanding. It can lead to increased resilience, deeper self-awareness, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Each time we rebloom, we enhance our capacity to navigate life’s challenges.

Embracing the idea of reblooming can transform how we view our lives. It encourages us to keep evolving and growing, no matter what challenges we face.

Remember, with each season, there’s a fresh opportunity to start anew and bloom once again.

Poem used in the image is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’, musing on the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world.