I don’t create because something’s missing. I create because something matters. Because I’ve seen how a simple sentence can shift a day. How colour can crack open joy. How a journal page can become a place to land, rest, and rise again.
When I sit down to write, I’m not trying to fill a gap, I’m following a glow. A flicker of beauty. A phrase that won’t let go. A whisper of wonder that says, This… this is worth your time.
There’s something deeply powerful about making what you’d want to find, not out of frustration, but from fascination. From love. From a deep desire to live in a world where the quiet things, the sacred things, the heartfelt things, are not overlooked but celebrated.
I want more wonder in the world, so I make it. I want more honest, heart-spilled, healing language, so I write it. Not because no one else is, but because I want to be one of the ones who does. To me, creativity isn’t just about talent. It’s about telling the truth in a beautiful way. It’s about amplifying the goodness. Contributing to the chorus. Creating the kind of work that doesn’t just get consumed but felt.
We all have that pull to make what we’re moved by. Maybe you read a poem that stirs your spirit, and your fingers twitch to write one too. Maybe you see a painting and think, yes, more like that, please. Maybe you hear a melody and you hum along, wishing you had your own chorus to carry. That impulse is not imitation. It’s initiation. It’s your creative spirit waking up, stretching out, and saying, Let’s go.
You don’t have to wait until something is needed. You can simply decide it’s worthy. You can bring more of what you love into the world because you love it. You can honour your taste, your truth, your tenderness, by shaping it into something that lasts.
So here’s my invitation, and maybe it’s yours too: Make what you’d be delighted to find on a bookshelf, in a gallery, on a greeting card. Write what you’d highlight, underline, or send to a friend. Create what makes you sit a little straighter, breathe a little deeper, feel a little more alive. Your joy is a compass. Your curiosity is a clue.
Your creations don’t have to be revolutionary, they just have to be real. We’re all building the world we want to live in, one piece of art, one line, one loving act at a time. So if you’ve been wondering whether your voice is needed, the answer is: Yes. Not because it fills a void. But because it adds to our becoming.
Recently, I came across a question that made me pause mid-scroll: “In what ways are you shortchanging your potential?”
I didn’t breeze past it. I couldn’t. This wasn’t the kind of question that asks for a surface-level answer. It was an invitation to go inward, to get honest, to look beyond the usual excuses I give myself.
So I did something I’ve learned to do when the big questions come: I turned to my journal.
No answers arrived right away. But three prompts slowly surfaced. Three gentle exercises that helped me to explore the hidden places where I might be holding back. What followed was uncomfortable, clarifying, and surprisingly freeing.
I’m sharing them with you in case you’re ready to do the same.
1. The Unwritten Permission Slip
I closed my eyes and imagined a blank permission slip in my hand. No rules. No waiting. Just full access to everything I’m capable of, without having to earn it first.
Then I wrote: You have permission to create without worrying if it’s good enough. You have permission to take up space, to speak your ideas, to show up before you feel “ready.” You have permission to begin. Now. As you are. You have permission to be yourself around your kids. You have permission to rest, to be disliked, to be misunderstood, to not have to explain. You have permission to be cringy, to do things badly, to be unimpressive, to fail, and to go at your own pace.
And then came the harder questions: ‘Who have I been waiting for permission from?’ ‘What have I been putting off because I still don’t feel “qualified”?’
I wrote a list, one I’ll keep just for me, but let me tell you, there’s something about physically writing yourself a permission slip that shifts things. It’s subtle, but it’s powerful. Something softens. Something awakens.
The Half-Filled Jar
Next, I sketched a tall, glass jar, my potential, visualised on paper. I wanted to see it, not just imagine it. So I gave it shape with pencil, then began to fill it in with colour. I used different shades to represent what was already there: green for the ways I’ve grown, yellow for the risks I’ve taken, blue for the moments I stretched beyond what felt comfortable.
As I looked at it, I realised, this jar wasn’t empty. But it wasn’t full either. There was still space. Still more it could hold.
Seeing it drawn out in front of me made it real. So I asked: ‘What’s missing? What would it take to fill this completely?’
And here’s what surprised me: It wasn’t more talent. It wasn’t more time or experience. It was trust. It was the willingness to act before I felt completely safe. To stop waiting for the perfect moment and take the next step now.
I wrote down one small thing I could do that day. Nothing grand. Just a tiny shift that moved me forward. And then I did it.
The Unlived Parallel Life
This was the one that hit deepest. I imagined her, the version of me who had fully stepped into her potential. The one who didn’t shrink, didn’t second-guess, didn’t hold back. She sat across from me, confident, calm, and whole.
I asked her: ‘How did you become who you are?’
And I wrote down what she said: I am you who didn’t give up. The one who kept choosing her heart, even when it was hard. I am the you who stayed close to what felt true. Who kept creating, kept expressing, kept showing up with honesty, even when you doubted.
After working through these prompts, the answer to that original question became clear: I shortchange my potential every time I wait for permission instead of giving it to myself. Every time I believe I’m not ready, instead of remembering that growth happens through action. Every time I ignore my inner voice in favour of outside approval.
If this stirred something in you, I invite you to sit with the same question. Use the prompts. Go gently. Be honest. And most importantly, do something with the answers.
Here I am, staring at a document titled ‘Book Proposal’, feeling a mix of excitement, uncertainty, and the pull of possibility.
The doubt is persistent. Although I have full confidence in the concept and genuinely believe my idea is unique, something still tells me I should leave this to the “real” writers. Imposter Syndrome is loud. It repeats the same words over and over: “You’re delusional,” trying to convince me that I’m an idiot for trying.
But I’m moving forward anyway.
Fearing Regret More Than Failure.
I do this not because I’m especially brave, but because at 46, my fear of regret has grown significantly larger than my fear of failure. This is just one of the gifts midlife has given me.
I don’t want to look back at this version of myself and see a woman who made herself small, who smothered her creativity, who kept her ideas to herself. Because deep down, if I’m truly honest, I believe in this book.
I believe in its power to help people in a profound way. I believe it could be the wind that stirs the embers in many hearts, reigniting something they thought had died inside them. I believe from this book, many more could be written. Many deep and personal discoveries could be made. Many loving and life-transforming actions could be set in motion.
So, although I most definitely don’t feel “ready,” I’m putting it together piece by piece, paragraph by paragraph, trusting that I’ll figure it out as I go. And as I do, regret will be put to rest.
We can do things that way, you know, bit by bit, step by step. We don’t have to be experts or have an infallible plan. We can feel things out, think them through, take our time. We can do things unconfidently. Slow productivity is still real productivity, and I believe that, more often than not, it’s the approach that’s best for me.
Trusting the Ideas That Won’t Let Go
Ideas are like newborns, they all arrive differently. Every mother has a birth story, and every idea has its own journey into the world. Some come suddenly, fully formed, while others take time, unfolding slowly, demanding patience and care.
This idea came to me as I was driving alone down the East Coast of New South Wales after visiting my mother. First the concept, then the title. It rushed in, as if my mind were an umbrella and it was ducking for cover, seeking shelter. It felt random, yet right on time. It demanded to be written down, regarded with importance. Though it arrived uninvited, still, it won’t let me go.Arrested—that’s the word for it. I was arrested by it, and the only thing to do with a thought, concept, or belief that arrests you is to trust that it might be something and slowly let it take shape.
Believing That What We Create Matters
There’s no way I could endure the searing sting of Imposter Syndrome, the gnawing doubt, the constant second-guessing, of shaping an idea, if I didn’t believe it mattered. Too often, we put down our tools, close our laptops, or abandon our art supplies out of fear that we’re just wasting our time. What’s the point of poetry, of art, of expression, anyway?
But here’s the truth, believing it matters, makes it matter. The act of believing in our work gives it weight, presence, and the energy it needs to exist in the world. It changes how we show up, how we nurture our ideas, how we push through doubt instead of surrendering to it.
The only way to give ideas a chance to find their purpose, to take root in someone else’s life, to spark something beyond what we can see, is to believe they will. If we dismiss them, they fade. But when we trust that they matter, we breathe life into them, and in doing so, they begin to take on a life of their own.
And so here I am, in over my head, trusting with every tap of the keyboard. Because I had a moment of resonance. Because an idea lingers. Because I’m more than a little afraid of reaching the end of my life and wishing I had given life to what flew into my head and arrested me,or at least tried to.
Yes, I’m writing my first book proposal. And to me, that feels both entirely absurd and completely inevitable, all at once.
To me, personal transformation is best described as a reshaping. It occurs when our identity, values, and perspective shift to align with our deepest beliefs and aspirations. It’s not merely about improving ourselves; it’s about redefining who we are and how we interact with the world. This reshaping is fueled by knowledge and experience and is essential for fulfilling our potential.
At the heart of change is creativity. It’s not just about making things; it’s about making things happen. Through creative practices, I’ve unlocked new ways of thinking and solving problems, fostering healing, growth, and self-expression.
So here, let me share with you how nurturing creativity can influence every aspect of our being and lead us toward growth.
Embracing Creativity as a Catalyst for Change
Creativity isn’t just for artists, musicians, or writers; it’s a fundamental aspect of being human. When we allow ourselves to think creatively, we open doors to new possibilities and perspectives. This mindset has changed not only how I tackle my to-do list but also how I handle life’s unexpected twists and turns.
By embracing my innate sense of creativity, I began to see pathways and solutions where there were previously only walls. This shift in perception wasn’t instant but gradual, enabling me to reimagine my life, from parenting to personal expression.
The Transformative Power of Small Creative Acts
Transformation doesn’t have to be monumental to be meaningful. Small, creative acts each day can have a cumulative effect that propels us forward. Whether it’s doodling in a notebook, rearranging your living space, or experimenting with new recipes, each act of creativity adds up, shaping us into more of who we are.
Integrating creativity into my daily routine has been essential in combating the stagnation that can creep into adult life. It keeps my thoughts positive and my spirit alive. Simple activities, like writing a daily haiku or journal entry enhance my sense of presence and help me process my inner experiences.
Nurturing Creativity to Foster Personal Growth
To truly transform, we must nurture our creativity. This means giving ourselves the space and time to explore, make mistakes, and wander. It’s crucial to create a personal environment that values and encourages creative expression.
Regularly consuming art, literature, and music has also played a significant role in maintaining my creative flow. These mediums offer new lenses through which to view the world, challenging our preconceptions and pushing us toward growth.
Creativity: The Emotional Bridge to Transformation
On a deeper level, creativity acts as an emotional conduit that helps us process and express feelings that might be too complex or overwhelming to articulate otherwise. Through creative expression, we can explore our deepest fears, joys, and ambitions in a safe and constructive way.
In my own life, writing fiction has served as this bridge. On the page, I can explore shades of emotion that I sometimes struggle to face in the real world. Each sentence is a step towardunderstanding and acceptance of my inner self. This process has been integral to my personal transformation, helping me to become not just a better writer, but a more whole person.
Who knows, one day, the stories I’ve written might see the light of day and be embraced by others.
Moving Forward with Creative Confidence
As we become more comfortable with our creativity, our confidence in other areas of life begins to blossom. We’re more likely to take risks, embrace new ideas, and leave behind what no longer serves us. With each creative endeavor, we build a stronger sense of self and a clearer vision of where we want to go.
The journey of personal transformation through creativity is ongoing and ever-evolving. It’s not about reaching a final destination but about continually growing, learning, and expanding. The creative process teaches us to be resilient, adaptable, and courageous, qualities that define not only great artists but great individuals.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: if you’re feeling stuck, low, deflated, defeated, or simply want something to change, go with your creative instincts. Nurture them, and they’ll guide you to uncover new depths of your personality and reach new heights of your potential.
Remember, in you lies creativity that, once ignited, can light up the whole path of personal transformation.
I’ve always thought how great it would be to just run down to the shops and pick up a bag of joy. On hard days, we could just grab a little peace off the shelf or a bottle of hope to keep us going.
Or if our kids were struggling with confidence, we could whip through the drive-through and order up whatever they needed to feel strong again.
And wouldn’t it be something if grief could be processed as easily as drinking a special shake. What if wisdom came in a box and resilience was something you could pay for at the counter?
Life would be better if we could just gain these things by buying them, wouldn’t it. But then I rethought it.
I realised that if these needs could be commodified, there would always be people left out. There would be those who couldn’t afford peace and those who couldn’t access joy.
It’s a grace that these things aren’t transactional. Thank goodness they aren’t rewards for those who work the hardest or have the most resources. It’s freeing to realise that peace, joy, rest, and hope are available to everyone, no matter their socioeconomic status, age, gender, race, or religion. We just have to learn how to receive them.
What We Can Not Earn
It’s a shared belief: peace comes when all our ducks are in a row, joy arrives once we get what we have been chasing, and rest is something we have to earn.
But that way of thinking is misguided and draining.
The truth is you don’t have to earn any of it. Peace is already there, waiting for you. Joy can find you in the most ordinary of moments. Rest is something you don’t need permission to take, even if the world keeps telling you to keep going.
Why Receiving Feels So Hard
Receiving is a skill we’re rarely taught. We’re told that good things come to those who hustle. And in many areas of life, that’s true, hard work has its place. But when it comes to things like inner peace, joy, hope, and healing, striving is not the way to access them.
If this makes you feel uneasy, you’re not alone. It’s countercultural to believe you can simply receive these things. But it’s true. And once you embrace that truth, life feels a little lighter.
3 Steps to Learning How to Receive Without “Earning” It
1. Shift from earning to allowing.
It’s about practice. It’s about cultivating a mindset that shifts gradually and strengthens over time. Learning to receive without conditions is a process of rewiring old beliefs.
2. Notice where you block receiving
Pay attention to moments when you resist receiving, whether it’s a compliment, help, or an unexpected opportunity. Ask yourself: Why am I uncomfortable with this? Why am I resisting joy? Why do I keep working when I know I need to rest? Acknowledge those feelings without judgment and remind yourself it’s safe to receive.
3. Embrace gratitude, not guilt
When something comes to you freely, respond with gratitude rather than guilt. Receiving isn’t about taking from others, it’s about being open to life’s offerings. Accept that you’re here to experience good things simply because you exist.
Unexpected Goodness Can Still Find You
Some of the most beautiful, life-giving moments I’ve experienced have arrived when I wasn’t expecting them, and when I felt I least deserve them.
A stranger’s unexpected kindness. A moment of joy in the middle of a hard season. A quiet sense of peace, even though nothing about my situation had changed.
These moments remind me that goodness isn’t something we have to chase down. Sometimes, it finds us.
We don’t always recognise it when it happens. We’re often too focused on what’s missing or what’s next to notice the quiet gifts that show up in our lives.
But if we slow down, we’ll see that most of us, despite the presence of hardship, have the opportunity to experience goodness daily.
This Year, Let’s Focus on Receiving
What if this year we focused a little more on receiving?
What if we practice receiving peace, joy, and rest, not because we’ve earned it. Not because we’ve worked hard enough. But because these things are available to you and me, just as we are.
I love this time of year. It’s not just Christmas season; it’s a season of completion, a time to let go, drop, declutter, reorganize, rethink, reflect, and dream.
As I move closer to a new year, whether I’m setting goals, reflecting on the months, or simply seeking clarity, journaling helps me to navigate this transition with intention and focus. Here are journal prompts designed to inspire and guide us into 2025.
Reflection: Looking Back at 2024
Before starting the new year, take a moment to reflect on the one that has passed.
1. What were the three most important lessons I learned in 2024?
2. What was my greatest achievement last year, and why am I proud of it?
3. What challenges did I overcome in 2024, and how did they shape me?
4. What relationships brought me the most joy in 2024, and why?
5. If I could relive one day from 2024, which would it be, and what made it special?
Vision: Envisioning 2025
Now, look ahead to the possibilities of the new year.
6. What is one word I want to define 2025 for me?
7. What do I want to create, experience, or accomplish in 2025?8. How do I want to feel at the end of this year?
9. What areas of my life need the most attention or change in 2025?
10. If 2025 were a story, what would the title be?
Intention: Setting the Tone for the Year
Define your focus and set your intentions with clarity.
11. What habits or routines will support my goals this year?
12. What am I ready to let go of as I enter 2025?
13. What does “success” look like for me in the coming year?
14. How can I nurture my mental, emotional, and physical well-being in 2025?
15. What is one thing I will prioritize for myself this year?
Gratitude: Starting the Year with Positivity
Ground yourself in gratitude.
16. What am I grateful for as I step into 2025?
17. Who are the people I want to thank or acknowledge in my life?
18. What small things bring me joy that I want to savor more in 2025?
19. What opportunities or blessings from 2024 am I carrying forward into this year?
20. How can I practice gratitude daily in 2025?Action: Making 2025 Count
Turn your reflections and intentions into actionable steps.
21. What is the first step I can take toward my biggest goal in 2025?
22. What is one new skill or hobby I want to explore this year?
23. How can I actively contribute to the well-being of others in 2025?
24. What obstacles might I face this year, and how can I prepare for them?
25. What is one thing I can do each day to stay aligned with my 2025 vision?
As you work through these prompts, remember that new beginnings are about progress, not perfection. Allow yourself the grace to start where you are, with what you have. Here’s to writing a beautiful story in 2025, one filled with growth, joy, and light.
Deep girls are the ones who linger in thought long after the conversation ends, who find meaning in the details others might overlook. They are the journalers, the ponderers, the ones who light candles and sit quietly, exploring their own feelings and thoughts.
If you have a deep girl in your life, she’ll be the one who doesn’t do surface conversations or idle chatter. She’ll talk to you about her latest read or something insightful she has learnt. She’ll be the one who is always looking for connections between the world around her and the world within. She loves wisdom, mystery and making things meaningful.
Often deep girls are misunderstood. They think deeply, and often express themselves in ways that others might find hard to grasp. Their introspection can make them appear distant.
For deep girls, being known is not about being noticed or admired on the surface, but about being understood at the core of who they are.
And so, here are a few gift ideas for the deep girl in your life, treasures that inspire reflection, creativity, and connection.
My Books: Gifts of Light and Reflection
If You’re Looking for Brightness
This book is my most recent release, and it’s a collection of poems, reflections, and insights about finding light in life’s complexities. It’s the perfect companion for anyone seeking inspiration and clarity.
A Strong and Fragile Thing
Deep girls love to muse, and this book is brimming with musings in reflection on the wisdom and wonder of the natural world. It’s the perfect companion for her to take out into nature, where she can read and see what rises to meet her.
The Remains of Burning Book and Journal
For the deep girl who is wading through pain and seeking renewal, this book and therapeutic journal is the perfect gift. I wrote it during and after one of the most emotionally distressing periods of my life out of a desire to validate the disqualified and consolidate the grieved. It’s an offering of words for those pained by lost dreams and relationships; words for when what you thought would never happen, happens.
Treasures for Reflective Practice
A Beautiful Journal
A beautiful journal is an essential tool for reflection. Look for one with thick, high-quality paper and an inspiring cover. I recommend journals from Papier or Archer & Olive for their designs and durability.
However, my absolute favourite journals are Paperblanks. Known for their intricate cover designs inspired by cultural motifs, classic literature, and historical art, they feel like holding a piece of art in your hands. The covers often feature textures, metallic foiling, and embossed patterns, giving them a luxurious and timeless appeal.
Luxury Candles
Candles create a calming atmosphere, and deep girls love them as they are perfect for night journaling or calming creative activities. Choose one with a soothing scent to enhance a reflective practice. Brands like P.F. Candle Co. or local artisans often offer unique, hand-poured options.
My personal favourite, is Glasshouse Candles. Whether it’s for relaxation, celebration, or simply to elevate everyday moments, Glasshouse Candles transform my space.
A Fountain Pen or Luxe Writing Tools
There’s something special about writing with a high-quality pen. Consider gifting a fountain pen or a set of smooth gel pens to elevate the journaling experience. Lamy and Pilot make excellent options.
A Reflection Deck or Prompt Cards
Now this is a product I dream of creating. Reflection decks provide daily prompts or affirmations to inspire thoughtful moments. Sets like The School of Life’s Prompt Cards or The Insight Deck are wonderful for deep thinkers. Deep girls also love quote cards and writing prompt cards.
A Cozy Throw Blanket
When taking time to contemplate, comfort is key. A soft, warm blanket is a simple yet thoughtful addition to any reflective practice. Other comforts you can give her are a pair of plush socks or slippers, a meditation pillow or an inspired art print to make her space feel more serene and personal.
Wrapping it up
When looking for a gift for the deep girl in your world all you need to remember is, deep girls appreciate thoughtfulness and authenticity. They love gifts that reflect who they are—books with meaning, journals to pour their hearts into, or cosy comforts that make their reflective moments special.
Today, I want to share a few inspiring quotes that have truly touched me over the past month. Each one is from a woman whose words have lifted me during moments of ambiguity: Brianna Wiest, Morgan Harper Nichols, Amy McGee, Maggie Smith, Orna Ross, and Cleo Wade. These remarkable women bring messages of resilience, hope, and the transformative power of creativity. I hope their words resonate with you as deeply as they have with me.
“Instead of being held by what haunts you, be pulled by what calls you.”
Brianna Wiest’s writing encourages me to embrace life with the courage to create, to quiet the chatter, and to connect deeply with what truly compels. In her book ‘Ceremony’, this line stirred something within.
I love the thought of being ‘pulled,’ compelled toward something meaningful and magnetic. This inspiring quote reminds me to shift from dwelling on disappointments, to discovering new delights and ask questions I hadn’t considered before.
“Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide.”
Morgan’s words carry a comforting warmth, like a friend gently reminding me of my strength. In her book ‘All Along You Were Blooming’, she captures the power of storytelling as a shared source of healing—not only for ourselves, but also for those who might follow.
After reading this line, I felt inspired to seek out stories, to listen to new voices, and to uncover words that resonate with my own experiences. This led me to healing words—the very words I needed to hear.
When I first came across Amy McNee on Instagram, I dismissed her as a try-hard, even saying to myself, “Oh, that’s so cringe.” But today, Amy stands as a creative powerhouse, inspiring people across the world.
Her life, shared openly on social media, has become a lighthouse for me—especially on days when I have to face my own awful art. She’s taught me that there’s no shame in being seen trying and that creating purely for the love of it is enough.
This simple quote captures so much of what Amy McNee is about. As a creative coach and a true embodiment of courage, Amy’s unwavering self-belief has been a beacon of inspiration for me.
At times, I lose sight of the fact that creativity isn’t about producing something perfect but about nurturing growth. Amy has helped me understand that it’s okay to create “cringy” art—it’s the only way to eventually create something beautiful.
“Accept that you are a work in progress, both a revision and a draft: you are better and more complete than earlier versions of yourself, but you also have work to do.”
Maggie Smith’s words serve as a powerful reminder that there is beauty in being a “work in progress.” Her quote encouraged me to not see my flaws as failures. In ‘Keep Moving’, she shares that we don’t need to have everything figured out to move forward; growth is ongoing.
Each new version of ourselves builds on the last, moving us closer to who we’re becoming. This inspiring quote helped me to embrace transformation with patience and purpose.
“It’s good to have an end in mind but in the end what counts is how you travel.”
This quote by Orna reminded me that creativity is a way to care; it should be a pathway to health rather than a source of stress. For me, creativity is more than just making things; it’s about how I organise my life, the way I give back, and the intention behind each contribution.
When I approach it mindfully, creativity becomes a wellspring of well-being, bringing balance, joy, and calm. This shift transforms creating into a source of strength and resilience. I find that the process itself grounds me, helping me stay present and connected to what matters. It shows me that creativity isn’t just about what we produce—how we travel shapes us, making each step just as fulfilling as the final outcome.
“It was time, so I said yes. I said yes to living, I said yes to loving, I said yes to being… myself, illuminated and unafraid.”
Cleo Wade’s words inspire me to approach each moment with a little more courage and a lot more acceptance. Reading this, I felt encouraged to bring more of myself into everyday life, to embrace both new experiences and everyday moments without hesitation.
Wade’s words makes me realise that living fully doesn’t mean waiting for perfect conditions; it means opening myself to life as I am, finding joy in simply showing up, and bringing all of myself—unafraid.
Each of these inspiring quotes holds wisdom that encourages us to be brave, creative, and mindful. I hope these voices speak to you and help you feel inspired today. As we go forward, let’s keep the words that inspire us close, allowing them to guide us toward growth. I’d love for you to share the quotes that inspire you with me.
We all experience times of uncertainty—those moments when self-doubt shadows our confidence and leads us to question our capabilities, value, or decisions. I’ve experienced paralyzing self doubt, and understand the weight it can carry.
However, I firmly believe that within each of us is an inherent brilliance, ready to emerge even during periods of self-doubt. Here are some strategies that have aided me in pushing past these doubts to fully embrace who I am. I hope you find them equally empowering.
Acknowledge Your Self-Doubt
First things first, let’s be real about our self-doubt. It’s okay to admit when you’re feeling insecure or unsure. I’ve learned that pushing these feelings away only makes them stronger. Instead, try to name your self-doubt when it shows up. Say to yourself, “I’m feeling unsure right now,” and acknowledge that it’s a normal part of being human. Just naming it can make it feel less powerful.
I also suggest writing those exact words down, as this is a way of spotlighting the emotion. Spotlighting is when we force ourselves to look directly at what we’re feeling, providing a clearer view and understanding of our emotions. This practice can demystify overwhelming feelings and aid in processing them more effectively.
Reframe Negative Thoughts
Self-doubt often comes from negative thoughts that loop in our minds—those “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do this” thoughts. I’ve found it helpful to gently challenge these thoughts.
Ask yourself: Is this really true? What evidence do I have that proves this thought wrong? Often, you’ll find that the doubt isn’t based on facts but on fear. Reframing these thoughts into more positive or neutral ones can make a huge difference in how you feel.
Celebrate Small Wins
When self-doubt is running high, it’s easy to overlook our achievements. Start by celebrating the small wins, no matter how tiny they might seem. Did you step out of your comfort zone today? Did you complete a task you’ve been dreading? Give yourself credit for these moments. I’ve found that acknowledging even the smallest successes builds confidence over time and slowly pushes self-doubt to the side.
Just as one might compile a gratitude list to foster a sense of thankfulness, consider creating a list of small wins for five consecutive days, emphasising every achievement, no matter how small. This practice helps to build a positive mindset by recognising and celebrating each step forward.
Surround Yourself with Support
Self-doubt thrives in isolation. When I feel unsure of myself, reaching out to supportive friends, family, or mentors makes a world of difference. Find those people who believe in you and lift you up. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re feeling with someone who understands can make that self-doubt shrink to a manageable size.
If you don’t have anyone in your life who fits this description, consider seeking a mentor from afar. There are many individuals whose coaching and mentoring might be accessible to you through their books, online courses, or videos, even if you never meet them in person. When you engage with their content, tell yourself it was written just for you.
Practice Self-Compassion
This one has been a game-changer for me. Instead of beating myself up for feeling self-doubt, I’ve started practicing self-compassion. Journaling is a fantastic tool to do this. This act of self-expression allows you to process feelings of inadequacy or failure gently, acknowledging them without self-criticism.
A journaling exercise to promote self-compassion involves the prompt, “What I need to hear right now is…” This simple start helps you articulate the supportive words and affirmations you need, allowing you to offer yourself kindness and reassurance directly. This practice strengthens self-compassion by letting you be both the giver and receiver of encouragement.
Take Action, Even When It Feels Scary
Self-doubt often wants to keep us stuck, but I’ve found that taking small, consistent actions can help break its grip. It might feel scary to take that first step, but action breeds confidence. Start with something manageable, and slowly build up from there. The more you act despite your doubts, the more you’ll prove to yourself that you are capable and strong.
My word for 2024 is “consistency.” I gave myself one task: to stay consistent in what I wanted to create. Whenever I feel self-doubt, remembering this task helps me to keep going. This focus on consistency has been key in making steady progress toward my goals.
Remember Your Brightness
Finally, always remember that your true brightness is already within you. It doesn’t disappear just because self-doubt shows up. When I remind myself of this, I feel a little lighter, a little braver. You have unique gifts, talents, and qualities that make you shine. Trust in that, and know that even on your toughest days, your light is still there.
My new book, “Looking for Brightness,” explores the theme of discovering the light within ourselves. If you’re experiencing self-doubt, the words in “Looking for Brightness” might be just what you need.
I recognise that when we are in the depths of struggle, advice can sometimes feel dismissive or simplistic. So, I approach this thoughtfully: Could it be possible that within our toughest moments, there might be light that, when we’re ready, could help guide us toward healing or understanding? Could it be that every moment eventually shines in some way?
When Pain Becomes a Teacher
I know what you’re thinking: “How could my pain possibly be a gift? Imagine being hurt by someone you trusted deeply. Think about the confusion that followed, the way broken trust impacted your life. Consider how, for a period of time, the pain gripped you tightly. But now, as you look back, can you see how that pain might have shielded you from continuing in unhealthy or insincere relationships? Can you recognise how pain, in its harsh way, might have led you to a path of self-discovery and growth?
I believe at times, experiences that initially seem devastating can ultimately reveal themselves as profoundly beneficial. It might not be apparent immediately, but hidden within these challenging times often lies something significant.
Stepping away from difficult environments enabled me to forge more genuine connections and gain a clearer understanding of my identity and true needs. Tough chapters, turned out, to be steering me towards a more authentic narrative. Some might call this grace, finding unlooked-for goodness in the trials we face.
Letting Go to Grow
Releasing what we hold onto—whether it’s people, places, dreams, or even our own expectations—can be one of the most challenging things to do. I’ve had to let go of more than I ever thought I would. But here’s what I’ve discovered: Each time I let go and face the deep sorrow of losing what I cherished, I find that I am gradually making space for new understandings and connections that reflect who I am becoming.
For example, When I was young, I had to say goodbye to someone I cared about deeply, which seemed unbearable at the time. But in hindsight, that goodbye saved me from a future filled with complications and hurt that would have been much worse. It opened the door for new opportunities, new relationships, and new growth.
Through this experience, I began to realise that letting go of what I think I want might just help me find what I truly need.
Finding Light in Everyday Life
Sometimes, the good things come in the most ordinary packages. I remember a time when I didn’t get the creative recognition I was hoping for. At first, it felt like a setback, but looking back, I see it was sparing me from exposure I wasn’t ready to handle.
Little exposure pushed me towards genuine creative connections. It forced me to sharpen my skills and work on myself. Most importantly, it led me to true supporters, the people who deeply appreciated and resonated with my work.
Sometimes, grace is found in what ‘doesn’t’ happen — like a seemingly failed venture. It might be hard to hear, but sometimes, what we miss can protect us.
Trust in the Unfolding of Things
Here’s a thought to consider; perhaps grace doesn’t align with unhealthy habits or attachments. It seems to partner with wisdom, taking a long view that prioritises our health over our desires.
Life offers wisdom, and wisdom doesn’t always give us what we want — it gives us what we need to grow healthier and stronger. Maybe sometimes, it saves us from ourselves — from our own ambitions, attachments, or dreams that are actually holding us back.
Wise Words About Suffering
I know what you’re thinking, “where is light in life’s darkest moments—like war, childhood deaths, or profound suffering?’ Well having never experienced war, or horrific circumstances I can only quote someone who has, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
Frankl believed that even in the face of unimaginable horrors, there is the possibility of finding a sense of purpose or meaning that can transform suffering into something bearable, even redemptive.
Following Light, Finding the Way
Here’s a thought that might resonate: Perhaps life doesn’t always make sense, and it certainly doesn’t always feel good, but maybe there’s a way it nudges us toward light, even when we can’t see it ourselves.
Maybe grace is real and is working in ways we don’t fully understand, slowly helping to reconcile our hearts and minds, tending to the parts of us that need healing, and quietly guiding us toward a purpose that fits who we are becoming.
Maybe we fair best when we believe that every moment, every situation, holds value and even in the hardest moments, there is light to be found. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to see the good that are right in front of us.
Maybe looking for light in unexpected places, although challenging, isn’t engaging in toxic positivity, but rather embracing the complexity of life with honesty.
Maybe allowing ourselves to acknowledge the pain we feel while remaining open to the possibility that there could still be moments of grace, growth, or insight hidden within is a good way to live.
