Tag: inspiration

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Books heart and soul

Words for the Soul: Non-fiction Books that Are a Source of Wisdom and Inspiration.

inspirational non-fiction book

If you’re like me, you’re always on the lookout for a good book, and when I say a ‘good book’ I mean inspirational non-fiction. These gems serve as beacons of knowledge, showcasing the transformative journeys of remarkable individuals and unveiling the profound insights they have gained along the way.  They possess the unique ability to instill in us a profound sense of motivation and hope.

When I read, I not only want to be entertained but transformed. I want my soul to be nourished, my mind to be stimulated and my spirit to lift. I know that’s a pretty big ask from just some words on paper, but I have had many experiences where books have left me feeling winged.

In a world that often feels fast-paced and disconnected, slowing down to read intentionally instead of taking in what scrolling serves up has become an uneasy, yet essential pursuit. Within the realm of inspirational nonfiction, I embark on a journey that invites me to align with meaning and service, empowering me to create a life of fulfillment and impact. 

Discovering Your Unique Path: Unleashing Your Gifts and Passions

Inspirational non-fiction books that focus on purposeful living guide us to discover our unique gifts, passions, and talents. They encourage us to dive deep within ourselves, exploring our authentic desires and uncovering the essence of who we truly are.

By embracing our individuality and leveraging our unique talents, we step onto a path that resonates deeply with our souls and allows us to make a meaningful contribution. If that sounds good to you, I recommend:

Aligning with Meaning: Clarifying Values and Priorities

Lucily, when I was young, I learnt that living a purposeful life requires me to align my actions with my core values and priorities. Personally, I have 3 core values.

Creativity – there just has to be space in my life to explore my imagination and ingest the innovation of others.

Authenticity – I can’t fake it. Oh yes, I’ve tried, but there is something that makes me feel violated within when I keep truth hidden. I want the real stuff, even if it’s ugly.

Freedom – I believe in the inherent right of individuals to express themselves, make choices, and pursue their aspirations without undue constraints. It’s important to me that I be free to follow my heart.

Inspirational non-fiction books offer practical tools and thought-provoking exercises to help us clarify our core beliefs, identify what truly matters to us, and create a value-based roadmap for our lives.  Some books that have helped me do this are:

  • “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl
  • “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho
  • Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” 
  • “The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” by Michael A. Singer
  • The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do” by Jeff Goins

Embracing Service: Making a Positive Impact in the World

I believe by embracing acts of kindness, compassion, and generosity, we tap into the joy of service and create a ripple effect that extends far beyond our individual lives.

However, to do this, I need constant encouragement. Inspirational non-fiction helps me to expand my vision beyond myself and recognise that my purpose is intimately connected to the well-being of others.  Books that you could read to help you embrace service include:

  • “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein
  • “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank
  • “Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, and Priorities of a Winning Life” by Tony Dungy
  • “Educated: A Memoir” by Tara Westover
  • “Becoming” by Michelle Obama

Living in Alignment: Embracing Authenticity and Growth

Alignment starts with being honest about where we are. We must acknowledge the reality of things to heal, grow and change.

By nurturing our own growth, we not only position ourselves to live purposely but also inspire others to embark on their own authentic path. I recommend these books to help you embrace authenticity and growth include:

  • “What I Know for Sure” by Oprah Winfrey is a collection of insightful reflections and life lessons
  • “Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown: 
  • “The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have” by Mark Nepo:
  • “Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person” by Shonda Rhimes
  • “The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life’s Direction and Purpose” by Oprah Winfrey

When I write poetry, I strive for it to serve as a wellspring of wisdom and inspiration. I want to capture the essence of the human experience by delving into universal themes of love, resilience, self-discovery, and personal growth. I seek to uplift spirits, ignite hope, and provide solace during challenging times. 

Along with the lists of books in this blog post, I hope my books can be a ‘well’ of sorts, quenching your thirst for wisdom and inspiration. For a closer look click here. 

Categories
heart and soul Poetry

How poetry can help us cope with Life’s Challenges: Reflections on World Poetry Day.

World Poetry Day

It’s no secret, I love poetry.

It  is  an art form that captures the beauty of language, but it is also a powerful tool that has  helped me cope with life’s challenges. In honor of World Poetry Day, I’d love to share with you how I have used poetry to navigate difficult times.

When I face challenging situations, I can sometimes find it hard to articulate how I feel. Poetry gives me the freedom to express myself  in a way that is both personal and universal. Through poetry, I explore my emotions, fears, and loves in a way that helps me  process and make sense of them.

For example, in her poem “Still I Rise,” Maya Angelou writes about overcoming adversity and discrimination. This poem inspires me to keep going and reminds me of the strength within me. 

 "You may shoot me with your words, / You may cut me with your eyes, / You may kill me with your hatefulness, / But still, like air, I'll rise."

Secondly, poetry provides me with a sense of comfort.  When I feel overwhelmed by my circumstances, reading or writing poetry helps me to  find a sense of calm. Poetry has a way of connecting me to something greater than myself.

In his poem “The Guest House,” the 13th-century Persian poet Rumi (one of my absolute fav’s) writes about the importance of embracing all emotions, both positive and negative: HIs poem reminds me that all emotion, everything I feel is part of the human experience I am having here on earth and that I should not judge or shame myself for feeling what I do. It encourages me to take every circumstance, whatever comes across my path and see it as a teacher. 

"This being human is a guest house. / Every morning a new arrival. / A joy, a depression, a meanness, / some momentary awareness comes / as an unexpected visitor."

Poetry also  helps me find meaning and purpose in my life. It can be hard to find a sense of meaning or purpose in difficult times. Poetry connects me to the beauty and value of life that can still be found during painful seasons. 

In his poem “The Road Not Taken,” Robert Frost writes about the importance of making our own choices and forging our own paths in life. His words remind me I can choose how I deal with what I am going through. Though things may not always go the way I want them too, still, I possess the power to make decisions that hold me back, keep me stuck or move my life forward. 

 "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference."

Poetry assists me to connect with others who are going through similar challenges. When I read or write poetry, I become part of a larger community of people who share the same  experiences and emotions. Through poetry, I can find a sense of belonging and feel seen and understood.

free poetry book
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heart and soul

Allow and Align: The power of letting go and being in flow.

poetry newsletter

Allow

Allow means to give yourself permission to be in the present moment without resistance or judgment. It means letting go of the need to control and surrendering to what is. Allowing is about accepting things as they are, rather than fighting against them.

When we allow, we create space for new possibilities to arise. We open ourselves up to new experiences, new people, and new ways of thinking. We become more flexible and adaptable and find a sense of quiet strength.

Align

Alignment is about connecting with the flow of life. When we are in alignment our inner world lines up with our current reality. Instead of resisting change, we embrace it. Instead of wishing and hoping for what we do not have, we treasure what we already hold. When we are aligned, we trust that we are on the right path even if it is uncomfortable or unexpected. 

Allow and Align

It is impossible to find flow if we  hold on to narratives that oppose our current circumstances.  For example, I have to let go of the four year old version of my daughter in order to have a relationship with her now as a sixteen year old. I can not connect with her now if I do not first let go of how I used to relate to her. 

And so, it is with everything. We must let go of what is not so we can take hold of what is. Simple right? Well, of course not. Letting go can be excruciating. Finding flow is not as free and easy as it sounds. Here are a few tips on how we can practice allowing and aligning in our daily lives. 

  1. Practice being present and fully engaged in the moment.

It is easy to get caught up in our thoughts or worries. Being aware of what is happening around us and within us can help us to let go of the need to manage everything. It is my belief that being where we are, attune to all the small wonders around us can help us to value the present moment and find alignment.

2. Trust the process. 

Trust that everything will be ok, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the moment. Trust in the nature and power of love. Sounds ‘woo woo’ right? Well my friends, who cares how it sounds if it works. Trusting can help you to let go of resistance and surrender to what is.

3. Follow peace.

It’s important to think about the kinds of thoughts we think. Do they foster a sense of inner calm? Letting go and finding flow can be difficult but these two actions always result in peace within. If you are unsure of which way to go or how you can find flow, ask yourself, ‘What brings me peace.’

4. Let go of attachments. 

It is easy to mistake connections for attachments. Attachments are things that we cling to, even when they no longer serve us. They can be material possessions, relationships, or even beliefs. 

Finish these sentences in relation to your inner wellbeing, ‘I will never stop ….”, “I will always be….”, “I need……”. If any of your answers are joined to something or someone that is outside of yourself (excluding a higher power) you may have a few attachments that are preventing you from finding alignment.

Once you have recognized your attachments, you can focus on cultivating a mindset that prioritizes placing these things in a healthy position in your life. 

5. Retreat.

We need new kinds of spaces, ones we inhabit because something significant occurs when people convene to delve deeper. We need places to pause, unlearn and return to ourselves so that we can heal and, in turn, help to heal the world.

Allow and Align is a restorative writing experience. Retreat for the day to a gorgeous Noravile beachfront property (Just 10 mins to M1 Motorway, 40 mins to Wahroonga) to slow down and learn how to let go and align with your life through the power of writing.

Through a series of guided writing exercises, creative prompts, and group discussions, you’ll tap into your intuition and gain insight into your personal journey. Together, with other participants you’ll discover keys to letting go of the past and moving forward in life.

Each ticket includes morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, beverages, writing journal, pen and workbook. Join us for a day of self-discovery, inspiration and renewal. To book your spot TryBooking Australia

Allow and Align Restorative Writing Day Retreat.
Categories
Creativity life lessons

Creating something new: expectations vs reality.

creating something new

Creating something new can be an exciting and daunting task.  The idea of bringing something unique and innovative to the world is often filled with expectations of success and satisfaction. However, the reality of creating something new can be vastly different from what we envision. 

Nothing I have ever created has turned out exactly like I planned. Whether it be a book, journal, blog post or writing retreat, all emerge into the world unlike how they start in my head. Not only does the end result look different, but the process, how they form and develop, always takes an unexpected route. Let me elaborate by sharing with you an expectation followed by the reality of what really went down. 

creating something new.

Expectation: Creating something new is straightforward.

Reality: Creating something new is often complex and  requires time, education, and resources. 

For me, every journey to creation is filled with setbacks, failures, and uncertainties. Initial ideas change and evolve over time. I have to be willing to experiment, learn from mistakes, adapt to new information and risk appearing like an absolute fool.

Expectation: Creating something new will result in immediate success and recognition.

Reality: Creating something new does not guarantee success or recognition. 

Every time I create something new, the response to it is gradual. I have learnt that success is determined by timing, market demand, competition, and luck. Every new thing I put out into the world requires me to have a long-term vision, perseverance, and a willingness to let others make it their own. 

Expectation: Creating something new will bring immense satisfaction and fulfillment.

Reality: Creating new things can be emotionally taxing and challenging. It’s common for creators to experience self-doubt, anxiety, and stress during the process of bringing their creation to life. 

During the creation process, I regularly feel pressure to meet personal expectations and external standards. I need to find a balance between passion and detachment, so I can passionately invest in what I am creating but not be defined by it. I experience creative block, crippling procrastination, dissatisfaction and frustration in my work. 

Expectation: Creating something new is a solo endeavor.

Reality: Creating something new often requires collaboration and support from others. 

Along the way I always seek feedback, advice, and guidance from trusted sources. I need to establish small teams with diverse perspectives, skills, and resources. Every book needs an editor, every journal needs cover design, every retreat needs supporters to help gather and serve those who attend, every blog post needs to be researched by reading the words of experts.  In reality, nothing I have created would be here without others. 

Expectation: Creating something new is a linear process.

Reality: Creating something new is a nonlinear and dynamic process. 

There are twists and there are turns. I navigate uncertainty and ambiguity. I pivot, adjust my approach and continually tell myself ‘Be flexible Loz, flow with it’ until my ridged little fingers learnt to let go and trust.  

And so it is with anyone who creates something new. It is a complex, emotionally taxing, non-linier collaboration. But boy oh boy is it worth it!

Categories
Books Journaling Therapeutic Writing Prompts

A guided journal for navigating wild new ways.

guided journal

The process is becoming a little easier, which is not to say that it is easy.  This latest creation required a willingness to write with more vulnerability than I did in my previous books, but hey, ageing is for becoming more courageous right?

That’s what I think readers want – courageous writing. Poetry that isn’t protective or coercive. Language that breathes and beats its fist on your chest. Authentic writing, void of the highlight reel; because we all know there is no way to speak ‘nicely’ when your mid metamorphoses. 

Metamorphoses let’s talk about that word.  According to the word hippo app on my phone (one of my many writing tools) it can be defined as ‘a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one.’ In my experience this process cannot take place on familiar territory. One needs a cocoon of sorts, somewhere away from the patterns of old. 

We may think that a cocoon is always a small, protected hide away. However, I have come to see that living through a wilderness experience is a kind of cocoon. Simply, it is a space where familiar ways don’t work and to survive you must surrender to your undoing. 

Nobody volunteers for such a task. The unravelling of life is something no one asks for. Change happens and sometimes we can’t help it. How do we unknow what has been made known to us? How do we unfeel, unsee, undo experience? Trying to do so would be to miss the point of being here. All we can do is surrender to the lesson and walk on.

Although surrender is the only way to endure the process, tools are handy. ‘Beyond the Safety of Trees’, is a tool. Use it like a spade. Through expressive writing, dig up what lies in your subconscious and explore how your wilderness experience is shaping you; even if you think you’ve walked through it. This guided journal contains 74 wilderness themed poems and 40 writing prompts to help readers navigate seasons of unexpected, and at times, unsettling change. Document your becoming, discover what lives deep in your heart and re-write your story. 

My wilderness came in the form of a story. A page was turned and I found that I had been killed off, written out of a narrative I was mistakenly told I belonged in. This made me question everything, including why I had spent most my life playing a part in my own life instead of holding the pen. Suddenly I could see, ‘Those who hold the pen hold the power’ and that is how I discovered that journaling isn’t just a way to offload negative emotion, but a life altering creative practice that requires us only to show up with honesty and embrace the process. 

And so, if you are found in an unfamiliar place, a desert of lost dreams, an ocean of grief, a hinterland of heartache, a city of uncertainties. It is my intention that the words and writing prompts in this book will bring a sense of empowerment and make you feel seen, understood, and celebrated. 

Guided journal
Guided journal
Dear Wild One, 
On the edge of a new beginning.
It’s time to undress.
For there is not place 
for high shoes and tall hats
where you are going.

You will need to be
light on your feet,
led by your heart,
alert in your gaze.

You must learn to love
not the day,
nor the night.
Both must become meaningless to you-
The moment is your prize.

For the wild wants 
to teach you joy,
independent of dreams fulfilled
free of your certainties,
despite what happened to you.
Guided Journal
Categories
heart and soul Journaling News

3 Reasons Why Everybody Should Attend a Therapeutic Writing Retreat.

Therapeutic writing retreat

Last Friday, 9 women gathered in lovely Stroud NSW for the first ever ‘Write To Rise’ Therapeutic Writing Retreat. These women all came for varied reasons and left with something unexpected. As they worked both together and alone, they discovered the power of honest expressive writing and the clarity and life enhancement it brings.

‘Write to Rise’ is a program I wrote to not only introduce others to therapeutic writing but to showcase the role narrative plays in our lives. The takeaway, ‘to restore we must re-story’, how to do that is where the writing comes in. As I reflect on this day, for the purpose of both celebrating it and improving the program, I can see great reward in a retreat of this nature. Here are three reasons why I think everyone should consider attending a therapeutic writing retreat. 

Write To Rise Therapeutic Day Retreat
  • To step out of routine and reflect on life.

Most of us live full lives. Busting out of the daily 9-5 and taking time to reflect on what is working or not working, as well as focusing on the emotional or psychological blocks that prevent us from processing pain, fulfilling our potential, and finding the fulfillment we seek, is worth upsetting the routine.  As we write, prompted by points of view, questions, quotes or the sensory details we find in nature, we start to see patterns, and the steps we could take to move forward. Re-reading, reflecting and analyzing our work is an important step in therapeutic writing. Having time to do this makes retreating extremely valuable. 

  • To learn skills that will improve life and foster well being. Therapeutic writing is directed. It usually starts  with a prompt or exercise. Certain techniques foster certain outcomes. It is writing based around healing, development and growth and seeks to highlight what can be found in the moment as well as how to move forward. It is more purposeful than simply keeping a diary or dumping your stress, anger and anxiety onto the page. It is a way to practice self compassion, foster gratitude, solve problems, build strategy, nurture mind and spirit, enhance creativity and imagination, record  dreams and of course, process pain and loss. Retreating for me is not only  about leaving with a fuzzy feeling in your chest, but also with tools to take home and use when needed. 
  • To make new connections and foster bonds.

Retreating gathers like-minded people. There is nothing like coming together with those interested in similar things, and walking through similar seasons. In the case of this writing retreat, (‘Write to Rise’)  all that gathered were processing hard things, keen to discover how to heal and the role that writing could take in that journey. There were tears, and by the end of the day, exhaustion. However, there were also multiple ‘aha’ moments and the discovery of truths (no matter how painfully liberating that may be). We wrote in musical silence, had some laughs over lunch, engaged in discussion and deep conversation. Some car pooled with friends, others bravely ventured on their own, but all had a seat in the open circle. How sweet it is to retreat with those who are committed to connection and consideration. 

Already I have had numerous people say that they would love to come to the next retreat (whenever that may be). That makes me extremely excited not only because I love coaching people and showing  how to use writing to heal and rise, but also because I believe in reflection, connection and the joy found in writing your own wild and beautiful story. 

For news on upcoming retreats and to receive monthly progressive writing prompts sign up here. 

Categories
Journaling Therapeutic Writing Prompts

7 June journal prompts to finish the year strong.

journal prompts

Journaling can be used for both reflection and projection. It can help us remember where we have been, what decisions we have made, why we made those decisions, how we have coped with challenges and what we have learnt from our recent experiences. It can reveal how we really feel, what we really want and the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving our desires. 

Although we can not control every aspect of our lives, these June journal prompts are crafted to help you be responsible for what you can control, navigate your next steps well and finish the year strong. 

What has been the thing you have enjoyed most so far this year?

Don’t think too hard about this one. It could be your job, your hobby, a new or old friendship, an event or vacation, a spiritual practice or a simple delight found  in your everyday life. This prompt helps point to not only the pleasure experienced, but also to the plan you should consider. What is life for if not to be enjoyed. To finish the year strong you will need to pack it with good times, the things that amuse you.

What goals did you set this year? How would you say that you are progressing with them?

You may want to resist this question. But don’t. It may cause you to feel guilt, shame or disappointment, but remember there is no room to judge your emotions on the page. Simply write out the goals you set and then without excuse assess if you are progressing towards achieving them. It’s a simple yes or no. If the answer is no, be brave enough to look deeper into why you have not made any ground. If your goals have changed, you may like to set another set of goals to be achieved by the end of the year. 

What does success mean to you?

I love this question. I love it because it allows us to define success rather than have it defined for us. It is important that your goals reflect what success means to you. Is success financial gain? Is it being praised by your peers? Is it spiritual growth? Is it community impact? Is it healthy relationships? Is it freedom to do whatever you want? Answering this question will help you move through the lessons you need to learn and towards your true north.

Write a few lines about each of the following areas of your life. Note the things you are proud of and the things you would like to change. 

Health. This includes your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. 

Relationships. This includes, romantic relationships, friendships, work relationships and other family connections.

Finances. This includes paying off debt, budgeting, investments, and your attitude towards money.

Creativity. This includes following your curiosities, solving problems, improving your craft and being inspired. 

Soul. This includes finding alignment, self-love, peace of mind, connecting to a higher power and being content. 

What area of your life do you feel needs the most focus in the coming months?

After answering question 4 you will be able to see what area of your life needs the most focus in the coming months. Write down a few ways you will do this. Remember it’s all about time and action. Select the time you will set aside to focus on this area and the action you will take within that time frame.

Imagine it is New Year’s Eve 2022. What do you want to be able to say about this year?

In light of the fact that we are still living in a pandemic and there are lots of concerning things going on in the world, many would answer this question with two words, ‘I survived.’ Although this answer is valad, think of something you would like to say that is in your control and would put a smile on your face,

Again, imagine it is New Year’s Eve 2022. What do you want to be able to say about yourself?

In essence this question is asking, ‘What could you do that would make you feel proud?’ The best way to answer it is to write out the kind of person you want to be and then take a look at the things you can practically do to cultivate personal growth. Do you want to overcome a fear? Improve your communication skills? Become more loving? Increase your capacity? Give more to others? Write down what you would like to say about yourself.

If you enjoyed these journal prompts and you would like to further engage in writing for therapeutic purposes, consider booking a ‘Write to Rise’ session with me, or taking a closer look at ‘The Remains of Burning Therapeutic Journal’ poetry and writing prompts for processing pain and loss. Available from bookshops.

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

5 expansive thoughts to lift your life.

A wrote a micro poem last year. It’s called ‘the memoir of stars.’ It goes like this.

‘Tell the story that makes you glow, freedom is in the mind you know.’

I scribbled it down after reflecting on a time that I had lost my glow. You know what I mean when I say ‘glow”? It’s hard to explain, but I guess you could say that it is a radiance that comes as a result of being free. 

Although there were certain pain points in my life at the time, the loss of glow wasn’t because of my circumstances. Jadedness dawns in the mind. My lack of enthusiasm began with constrained thinking. Thoughts like, ‘Things will never change.’ ‘I am inadequate.’ ‘Life is not fair’.

Things became, well, a bit tedious. Hoping for more seemed selfish, yet what I had was clearly  being unutilized. What I needed was a new way of perceiving what is possible. Instead of entertaining doldrums, I needed to tell myself a different narrative; to enter the world through a different door. 

Expansive thinking moves us beyond ourselves and allows us to enter the realm of possibility. It is a marriage between the real and imagined. There are a fistful of thoughts that bring what’s possibly good, true and beautiful to the forefront. Meditating on them increases joy and wonderment. Believing these thoughts will cultivate a new sense of freedom in your life.

Expansive Thoughts to life your life.

1. I don’t always get what I want, but I have what I need. 

This thought helps me to pull my focus from what I do not have. When lack is loud. When shortcomings shout. When loss is illuminated from every angle of the mind, this thought provides space to breathe by moving the focus from what is perceived to be missing, to what is presently good. When I think, ‘I don’t have a million dollars’, concentrating on need says, ‘Oh, but look, I have shoes.’ Opportunity to grow and gain the things I want will come when I make the best of what I have.

2. The world is beautiful.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the noise, to be entangled by bad news, the horror of tragedy and the faff of gossip. Yes, the world needs our love, our fight and our focus.  However, believing that the world is beautiful helps to hold off fear and to appreciate being here. Instead of saying to yourself, ‘it’s dog eat dog’ or ‘nothing ever goes my way’, look at the brilliance that is your life, the miracle of your existence and allow the creativity of the natural world to inspire. 

3. Every end is a beginning.

Straight up, this thought doesn’t make moving on easy. It stings if said too soon; it is an agony if contemplated before the grieving process is fully engaged. But after years, or when the clouds have cleared, these are the words that put to rest real disappointment and regret. This thought allows imagination to take flight, and prompts us to remember that there is a story after the story; a party after the show. And after every ending, there is something new.

4. I am not my feelings.

On days when I feel overcome with emotion. When I am overwhelmed with feeling underwhelmed. When I sense inner tension, feel trapped or slightly terrified, it’s helpful to  know that my emotions do not prove who I am. They are neither good nor bad and only exist to be felt and processed. They are separate from spirit (the real me). This thought cuts me free from beliefs such as, ‘to feel good, is to be  good’. Or ‘to feel beautiful, is to be beautiful. Or ‘to feel worthy, is to be worthy’. 

5. I am guided by love.

Easily mistaken from being a little woo woo, there is no doubt, this thought has been the most freeing of all. Believing I am loved, that I can align with love and that loving others is really the reason I am here has certainly liberated me. Love is life-affirming. To give and receive it is a source of satisfaction. When my glow starts to fade, love turns up all the lights. Sure, hard things, bad things, sad things are possible, but love always always always leads me on. 

(‘The memoir of stars’ is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing‘, musings in reflection of the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world. Available from Amazon and bookstores world wide.)

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

How to have an ‘at home soul retreat’.

soul retreat

Recently I found myself yearning for rest. However, March for me is the month when things start to ramp up and getting away is harder than ever. How does one switch off when the season demands one to switch it up a notch?  

For me, the answer is to schedule an ‘at home soul retreat’. With a little planning, refreshment can be found right where I live, because retreating is not about time (how long) or place (whereabouts) it is about intention.

Now, I know everyone’s living situation is different. For some, home is an unsettling place. If you are caring for someone with high needs or live in shared housing, I acknowledge, it’s complicated, and finding space is extra difficult. Not being in your position, I don’t have all the answers, only a few suggestions that could work if you mould them to your own circumstances. 

I know sometimes, retreating doesn’t seem worth the hassle; for those who have considerable responsibilities withdrawing takes work. Don’t let the planning needed to retreat discourage you from it. If there is one thing I have learnt this side of my own ‘at home soul retreat’ it is that it is thoroughly worthwhile.

So, what is a soul retreat? Seems a stupid question, as the answer is in the name, but the word ‘soul’, being a little mysterious, probability needs to be explained. Defining the soul is difficult and it seems every second charlie has a different definition for the soul, so let me clarify what I mean. When I say soul, I am referring to the mind, the will and the emotions. A soul retreat is simply finding space to clear the mind, rest the will and process emotions; it’s about nourishing the inner-self.

Once I have decided when I will begin and how long my retreat will last (it could be hours, days or weeks), I prepare by considering what I expect from retreating ahead of time. Much like I would pack my bag for a get away, I gather all I need for my retreat beforehand. This might include deciding on some reading material, creating a relaxing playlist, planning what nature walks I want to do, booking a massage or preparing meals so I don’t have to think about cooking. 

For me, learning to retreat without leaving home has helped me to consistently show up and fulfil commitments. I do this by using free-time in a way that is intentionally geared towards soul health. I also shuffle my work and responsibilities into three working days, leaving two days (in school hours) to retreat from time to time. I could not do this every week, nor is there a need to as retreating every six to eight weeks works for me.

Essentially a soul retreat is about following the soul and giving it what it needs. Your soul retreat will be as unique as you are. For me, a soul retreat involves deep thinking, journaling, reading, napping, being exposed to beauty and creativity, walks by the water, and time spent in stillness. You can include whatever makes you feel alive; from base jumping to baking, it’s up to you. However, it’s important to remember that a soul retreat isn’t just about having a good time; it’s about affirming positive thought, processing painful emotion, and allowing yourself space to dream a little. 

Normally I do not feel the benefits of retreating straight away, in fact, retreating can feel exhaustingly wasteful. However, about 5 days after I’ve retreated, I experience an  increase in focus and  creative energy. This I’m sure, will be different for you, as we all seem to respond to rest and refuel differently. 

The purpose of a soul retreat is to nourish the soul. This is important because neglect at a soul level affects not only our health but also our relationships, our overall well being and outlook on life. If you are weary, lack creative clout, feel jaded, or overwhelmed by a never ending cycle of busyness, a soul retreat may be what you need. There are curiosities to chase, dreams to journal, healing to heed, hope to surrender to, if only you’d stop for a moment to mine the soul. 

Retreat
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Journaling life lessons

8 ways you can support yourself through pain and loss.

pain and loss

Firstly, let me  say, I am a certified therapeutic writing coach, not a therapist.  As a therapeutic writing coach I am unable to diagnose or work in depth with psychological or emotional health concerns. I focus on helping others improve their lives through the practice of therapeutic writing. The eight ways you can support yourself through pain and loss discussed in this blog post have been curated through study, research and personal experience. 

We often seek to know how we can support those in our lives who are going through hard times. However, learning how to support ourselves is just as important. Care from our loved ones can do wonders, but real progress happens when we show up for ourselves, take time to grieve and do the brave work needed to heal.

Once I realised that I was the one I was waiting for, I felt empowered to create my own healing plan. This looked like extended time spent in nature, journaling, counselling, nurturing my creativity, time with trusted friends, contemplative prayer and reading, water and exercise.

I also became mindful of my surroundings, was careful to not judge my emotions, became selective in who I took advice from, was open to receiving practical help when I needed it and cried a lot.

None of these things provided a quick fix. We all know healing doesn’t work like that. I don’t think I’ll ever be done with the restorative process, simply because we live in an imperfect world. In saying that, it is clear that learning how to support ourselves through pain and loss is vital to become our true best. And it all starts with being present.

Be present.

Although distracting ourselves from pain is tempting, we need to be present to it. This means turning towards it and gradually moving closer, step by step, till eventually we are able to enter into it. The only way to move beyond it, is the walk through it. There is no road around, no tunnel under, no way above – only through. We must feel it, before we can be free of it. 

Cultivate your surroundings.

Our surroundings can assist the healing process. Good surroundings make us feel safe and calm. Beautiful sights, sounds and scents can create spaces that nurture and care for our body, soul and mind. Being intentional about what we watch and listen to is beneficial not only to our mental health but also to our physical and emotional well being. For me, this looks like purposely putting myself in the path of beauty. Propping my camping chair beside the lake and watching the sun go down, filling my house with flowers and plants, listening to orchestral music while walking beachside, and being attentive to the wonders happening in my own garden are all ways I seek to bring more beauty into my life.

Validate your experience.

When processing pain it’s hard not to judge how we feel. This is because we have learnt that certain emotions are bad, and to feel them makes us bad too. While some emotions do have a negative effect on us and those around us, to feel negative emotions is to be human. It is important to know that feeling an emotion and acting upon it are two different things. Whether it is shame, anger, frustration, guilt, resentment, sadness or jealousy it must be felt, noted and validated through nurture and understanding without condemnation. 

Write and reframe your personal narrative.

Journaling has been imperative in my healing journey. Numerous studies have proven the value of therapeutic writing. Research shows it strengthens mental, emotional, and physical health, by reducing stress, regulating emotions, boosting memory and improving overall wellbeing. Writing through pain is a way to not only dump negative emotion but also to reframe personal narrative through observing unhelpful beliefs and lies. For those seeking a guided journaling experience, ‘The Remains of Burning’ poetry and writing prompts to process pain and loss, is a tool I created to assist healing through journaling.

Avoid advice.

Obviously when I say avoid advice, I mean that we can limit the amount of people we give permission to speak into our lives. Accommodating a myriad of opinions about what happened to us, how we should feel and what we can do next can be exhausting. It is wise to shut out some voices and prioritise others. Having a few trusted confidants versus listening to anyone and everyone helps us  to feel safe and prevents the unnecessary triggering of pain.

Ask for help.

Pain and loss do not only have an effect on our physical, emotional and physiological state. They can also change our social connections, relationships, financial circumstances  and future goals. Asking for practical help while you deal with the fall out is okay. Maybe there is someone who can provide child or domestic support. We can support ourselves by asking for what we need.

Seek professional guidance.

Seeing a psychologist, therapist or counsellor is commendable. Although it is important to know the right help may not always be convenient. Finding a professional suited to address your concerns can take some time and adjustment. When it comes to pain and loss, it may be beneficial to seek a therapist and counsellor who  specialises in grief and trauma. The important thing to remember is if the therapist is not the right fit for you it does not mean you are at fault. 

Intentionally increase care and nourishment.

Basically, spoil yourself. Create extra time for the things you like. Buy expensive bath bombs. Go for that massage. Take a nap. Order in food. Do what makes you feel beautiful. Reduce your schedule. Make more room for what you find fun. It is okay to say no to things you once did that you now find stressful. Do not feel guilty for giving yourself the time, attention and support you need.