Author: Lauren Lott

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heart and soul life lessons

Finding Light in Everyday Moments

Finding Light

I recognise that when we are in the depths of struggle, advice can sometimes feel dismissive or simplistic. So, I approach this thoughtfully: Could it be possible that within our toughest moments, there might be light that, when we’re ready, could help guide us toward healing or understanding? Could it be that every moment eventually shines in some way?

When Pain Becomes a Teacher

I know what you’re thinking: “How could my pain possibly be a gift? Imagine being hurt by someone you trusted deeply. Think about the confusion that followed, the way broken trust impacted your life. Consider how, for a period of time, the pain gripped you tightly. But now, as you look back, can you see how that pain might have shielded you from continuing in unhealthy or insincere relationships? Can you recognise how pain, in its harsh way, might have led you to a path of self-discovery and growth?

I believe at times, experiences that initially seem devastating can ultimately reveal themselves as profoundly beneficial. It might not be apparent immediately, but hidden within these challenging times often lies something significant. 

Stepping away from difficult environments enabled me to forge more genuine connections and gain a clearer understanding of my identity and true needs. Tough chapters, turned out, to be steering me towards a more authentic narrative. Some might call this grace, finding unlooked-for goodness in the trials we face.

Letting Go to Grow

Releasing what we hold onto—whether it’s people, places, dreams, or even our own expectations—can be one of the most challenging things to do. I’ve had to let go of more than I ever thought I would. But here’s what I’ve discovered: Each time I let go and face the deep sorrow of losing what I cherished, I find that I am gradually making space for new understandings and connections that reflect who I am becoming.

For example, When I was young, I had to say goodbye to someone I cared about deeply, which seemed unbearable at the time. But in hindsight, that goodbye saved me from a future filled with complications and hurt that would have been much worse. It opened the door for new opportunities, new relationships, and new growth. 

Through this experience, I began to realise that letting go of what I think I want might just help me find what I truly need. 

Finding Light in Everyday Life

Sometimes, the good things come in the most ordinary packages. I remember a time when I didn’t get the creative recognition I was hoping for. At first, it felt like a setback, but looking back, I see it was sparing me from exposure I wasn’t ready to handle.

Little exposure pushed me towards genuine creative connections.  It forced me to sharpen my skills and work on myself. Most importantly, it led me to true supporters, the people who deeply appreciated and resonated with my work. 

Sometimes, grace is found in what ‘doesn’t’ happen — like a seemingly failed venture. It might be hard to hear, but sometimes, what we miss can protect us.

Trust in the Unfolding of Things

Here’s a thought to consider; perhaps grace doesn’t align with unhealthy habits or attachments. It seems to partner with wisdom, taking a long view that prioritises our health over our desires.

Life offers wisdom, and wisdom doesn’t always give us what we want — it gives us what we need to grow healthier and stronger. Maybe sometimes, it saves us from ourselves — from our own ambitions, attachments, or dreams that are actually holding us back.

Wise Words About Suffering

I know what you’re thinking, “where is light in life’s darkest moments—like war, childhood deaths, or profound suffering?’ Well having never experienced war, or horrific circumstances I can only quote someone who has, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” 

Frankl believed that even in the face of unimaginable horrors, there is the possibility of finding a sense of purpose or meaning that can transform suffering into something bearable, even redemptive.

Following Light, Finding the Way

Here’s a thought that might resonate: Perhaps life doesn’t always make sense, and it certainly doesn’t always feel good, but maybe there’s a way it nudges us toward light, even when we can’t see it ourselves. 

Maybe grace is real and is working in ways we don’t fully understand, slowly helping to reconcile our hearts and minds, tending to the parts of us that need healing, and quietly guiding us toward a purpose that fits who we are becoming.

Maybe we fair best when we believe that every moment, every situation, holds value and even in the hardest moments, there is light to be found. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to see the good that are right in front of us.

Maybe looking for light in unexpected places, although challenging, isn’t engaging in toxic positivity, but rather embracing the complexity of life with honesty.

Maybe allowing ourselves to acknowledge the pain we feel while remaining open to the possibility that there could still be moments of grace, growth, or insight hidden within is a good way to live.

if you're looking for brightness
Categories
Books Creativity Publishing

 AI Interviews Me About My New Book ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’

If you're looking for brightness

Just for fun, I decided to let artificial intelligence pose questions to me about my new book, ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness.’  Here are the questions AI asked (written in bold) and my personal responses:

 ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’ explores the deeply resonant theme of  finding light. What inspired you to write this collection, and how does the title reflect the themes within your book?”

I think one of the major lessons I’ve learnt over the last five years is that you can find light almost anywhere. When I say light I mean more than just brightness. I mean truth. I mean clarity. 

I’ve experienced deep confusion, cognitive dissonance actually, which means I’ve suffered mental discomfort and tension through holding two or more opposing beliefs. For me, this uncertainty was sparked by conflicting ideas about trust. What was being said and what was being shown were inconsistent.

The book’s title is a call to all those who need to find the light in their experience. In it I share the four places where light seems to radiate the most, in love, in pain, in living things and within my own heart. 

Are there any poems that hold special significance to you?”

Every piece has a backstory. But if I had to choose one off the top of my head it would be ‘De- (a prefix meaning intensive) Light’. It’s a piece about noting the sublime experiences in our lives and using good memories to illuminate present darkness. Let me share it with you.

‘De- (a prefix meaning intensive) Light’

i.

Love likes to catch us off guard.

ii.

At the age of thirty-something I found myself
singing to a crowd under a mock-up trojan horse
on the edge of the Dardanelles Strait in Turkey.
Ever since that day, I keep asking myself,
‘Did that really happen?’

iii.

I was once crowned
the ‘Queen of Love and Beauty’.
It happened when an actor,
dressed as a knight,
picked me from an arena of contenders
one surreal Saturday at Medieval Times.

iv.

In my teens I wrote to an organisation.
They put my note in their newsletter.
In those days nobody needed permission.
When I received my copy,
I read it continuously; astonished.
My words on their paper.
My thoughts in other heads.

v.

Consider the sublime, moments when
reality feels like a dream, and tell
your tired heart to stay open to surprise.

Your manuscript frequently references light in natural settings. Can you talk about how nature contributes to the healing process described in your poems?”

I grew up in church. I belonged to a ‘twice on sunday and multiple times of week’ kind of family. We were real deal ‘churchies’. Inside the church I found a community that championed me. Encouragement was part of the infrastructure. As a child and teen there was nowhere else I wanted to be.  It was my safe place, where I genuinely felt known and loved. 

Fast forward to 2015: I’m 37, with three kids, and my husband is an executive pastor who has been working at the same church for 16 years. Suddenly, despite ten years of repeated promises of succession, he was made redundant. This decision was intensely confusing to me and so I sort to respectfully ask questions, to which no one could or cared to answer.

As a result, I started to ask other questions about the church and the doctrine I had been taught. I felt drawn to a more contemplative approach to my faith. Instead of gathering in buildings, attending services, or participating in the routine of church activities, I began seeking spiritual practice elsewhere, mainly because the original practices were triggering and felt disingenuous to observe. I went to beaches, walked through the bush, or sat by the lake and found nature far more healing than singing or sermons.

Could you describe your creative process when writing this book? 

Everything I write begins with a seed of resonance—whether it’s a quote, a word, a story, a memory, or an emotion. Once I have that seed, I start writing (with pen and paper), imagining how to convey what I want to say in as few words as possible. I visualise the shape of the piece on the page and how it connects to the themes of the book.

Next, I rewrite the finished poem onto a loose piece of paper, editing as I go. These loose pages are then arranged in a carefully considered order and typed into a Word document for further refinement.

Finally, I format the book in InDesign. Of course, more editing follows until I feel it’s time to set it aside and return with fresh eyes. After a few more tweaks, and when I finally feel ready for the world to see it, I publish.

What impact do you hope ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’ will have on its readers? Are there specific feelings or revelations you aim to evoke?

I want ‘If You’re Looking for Brightness’ to illuminate the space where readers are. Whether that be in a place of despair, a season of loneliness, a state of disappointment, or a moment of uncertainty. 

The subtitle, ‘Finding Light,’ is as clear as I could put it. I want readers to find the light they need or at least by reading where I found it, know where to look in their own lives.

Lastly, what were some of the challenges you faced while writing this book?

Firstly, having to write a lot of “crappy” poems before finding a little gold. The process of sifting through words and drafts felt daunting at times. There is nothing more discouraging than encountering your own incompetence. Every person who seeks to write a book must continue to believe they can write the work that is in heart, even as their own writing insists it is beyond them.

Second, writing about light itself proved tricky. It’s an abstract concept when not referring to its physical properties.  I had to find ways to ground those abstract ideas in tangible experiences.

Finally, visiting painful narratives was a real challenge. In the section titled ‘The Light in Pain,’ I had to face my own unresolved questions, especially when those who could have provided answers chose not to. It was difficult to frame a narrative that made sitting with these difficult experiences not only bearable but also illuminating.

Categories
Books

Spring Reads: A Celebration of Nature’s Wisdom and Wonder

Spring Reads

As the days get longer and spring shows its colours, it’s the perfect time to match our reading with the season. Just like enjoying fresh strawberries in summer, crisp apples in fall, or hearty root vegetables in winter, picking books that fit the season can make your reading experience feel special and timely. 

This spring, why not dive into stories about new beginnings and growth?

The books recommended in this post are a great way to connect with the season and find inspiration in the way nature comes back to life. It’s a unique chance each year to see how nature’s revival can mirror our own journeys through engaging stories.

Spring looks different depending on where you live. In some places, they talk about the woods, but in Australia, we just call it the bush. And while many talk about meadows, we have paddocks here. The books I recommend talk about spring from these different settings, but they all touch on something we all feel: that fresh start as winter fades away.

It’s amazing how, no matter where we are, seeing the earth come alive again can stir something deep inside us, making us feel connected and rejuvenated.

Nature Poetry

1. The Wild Iris” by Louise Glück

Louise Glück’s Pulitzer Prize-winning collection really brings the magic of spring to life. In her poems, it’s as if the flowers and plants themselves are talking to us, sharing their stories of growth and survival. It’s a beautiful, slightly haunting read that celebrates the resilience found in nature’s quiet moments.

2. Bright Wings: An Illustrated Anthology of Poems about Birds, edited by Billy Collins

Spring isn’t complete without the sound of birds singing. “Bright Wings” is a gorgeous collection of poems about birds, curated by former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins.

The book pairs poetry with lovely illustrations, making it a treat for both the eyes and the soul. It’s a perfect pick if you love taking a moment to enjoy the beauty around you.

3. Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver, by Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver is a must-read if you love nature poetry. “Devotions” gathers some of her best work, taking you on a peaceful stroll through meadows and woods. Her poems are a gentle reminder to look closely at the world around us and find joy in the simple things.

Books About Blooming

1. Gathering Moss: A Natural and Cultural History of Mosses, by Robin Wall Kimmerer is thoughtful non-fiction choice that intertwines scientific knowledge with personal reflection. Through her exploration of moss, Kimmerer, reflects on the ways these small, often overlooked plants teach lessons about living a simple, yet rich life. 

This book offers a unique perspective on growth, resilience, and the importance of connecting with the natural world around us, perfect for those interested in seeing the larger lessons in small, everyday wonders.

2. The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate – Discoveries from a Secret World, by Peter Wohlleben gives you a sneak peek into the amazing world of trees. Peter shows us how trees are more than just  timber—they communicate, support each other, and form communities much like our own. 

It’s a book that really makes you see nature as a network of connections, where every part relies on another, kind of like how everything comes together in the spring to create something beautiful.

3. A Strong and Fragile Thing, by Lauren Lott (that’s me) proclaims that nature shows us the mix of strength and delicacy in life—how new beginnings come with power, but nature itself can be so fragile. In “A Strong and Fragile Thing,” I dive into these contrasts with my own reflections. 

Writing this book was a way for me to heal, letting nature’s quiet wisdom mend my heart as the seasons turned. I personify nature in my writing, seeing it almost as a wise friend who offers little nuggets of insight.

Let this book inspire you to find your own springtime moments, where nature can quietly share little bits of wisdom with you. 

Embracing the Lessons of Spring

As you dive into these books and poems, let yourself really connect with the gentle lessons that nature offers. Let the quiet wisdom of the changing world inspire your season of renewal.

Whether it’s the soothing words of a poem or the deep insights from a book, these spring reads are here to refresh your perspective. They’ll fill your heart with wonder and open your mind to the little bits of wisdom that spring up all around us. Enjoy your reading!

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

The Slow Unfolding: Understanding Life’s Lessons Years Later

trust the proccess

The Puzzle Pieces We Don’t See

Most of us experience  something that leaves us puzzled? I’m talking about insurmountable challenges that at the time, felt frustrating and confusing.  It’s like being handed a piece of a puzzle without knowing what the full picture looks like. You wonder, “How could this happen? What am I supposed to learn from this?”

For years, I held onto pieces, unsure of how they fit into the bigger picture of my life. Moments of heartbreak, missed opportunities, and struggles that I couldn’t make sense of have become in hindsight, years later, experiences that shaped me into the person I am today.

When Time Becomes Your Teacher

I have learnt that  life’s lessons don’t often reveal themselves right away. Sometimes, we need the gift of time to gain the perspective necessary to understand them. I’ve found that as I grow older, I can look back on past experiences with new eyes. What once seemed like a random series of events now feels more like the unfolding of an inevitable story, with each chapter building upon the last.

Although I do not believe that time heals all pain, I do believe that time allows us to see the purpose behind it. The seeds of the heartbreak I experienced in my thirties were planted in my young years. It was then that I gave others the responsibility for my life and fell in line, it was then that I gave up my power. And it is now that I recognize the necessity of embracing my own autonomy, understanding that the choices I make today are not dictated by the past, but by the clarity and courage I have found within.

It’s comforting to know that even in the thick of it—when we’re feeling lost, confused, or hurt—something is still unfolding; we are headed somewhere, and every struggle calls us to become more of who we truly are. Time is the teacher that helps us put the pieces together.

Trusting the process

One of the hardest things to do is to trust that eventually you will take something valuable from difficult situations. I’ve learned that just because I don’t have all the answers now doesn’t mean I won’t find them eventually. It’s like climbing a mountain: halfway up, after some climbing, I can see more than I did at the base. At the top, the view is clearer and wider. It takes time, but each step offers a broader, richer insight.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your feelings or pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge the confusion, the frustration, and the pain. But alongside those emotions, try to hold onto the belief that one day, you’ll look back and see how these experiences were guiding you toward something truer.

Celebrating the Unfolding

There’s something incredibly beautiful about the slow unfolding of life’s lessons. It’s like watching a flower bloom in slow motion, each petal revealing itself in its own time. When you finally get to that moment where some pieces fit together, it’s a cause for celebration. You realise all the questioning, and the uncertainty were necessary to forge a deeper understanding and appreciation of your experiences.

I’ve had moments where I suddenly understood why things happened the way they did, and why they couldn’t happen any other way.  The clarity that comes with these realisations is freeing. They helped me to understand my thoughts, feelings and actions and confront raw truths.

If you’re currently holding onto pieces of a puzzle that don’t seem to fit, know that time has a way of revealing deeper insights.  Trust in the slow unfolding, and remember that each experience, no matter how confusing or painful, can be rich in lessons that expand your understanding of both yourself and the world around you.

And to those who have been waiting for answers, for insight, for vindication or for justice for years I offer this: find peace in the unresolved. Peace is available even when answers are not.

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heart and soul life lessons

Narratives That Nurture: Stories That Heal Without Hiding Reality

Embracing the Full Story

For me, healing started when I accepted the whole story—all of it, the ups, when it comes to healing and growing, the stories we tell ourselves really do make a difference.

They comfort us, spark inspiration, and help us understand ourselves better. But if we want healing that goes deep and sticks around, we need stories that don’t shy away from everything we’ve been through, especially the tough stuff.

There’s often this pressure around us, or even from inside us, to just look at the bright side or find the “silver lining” in every situation. Sure, being optimistic is great, but it’s not so helpful when it makes us ignore or downplay the pain we feel.

The stories that really help us heal don’t just focus on the wins and the happy moments; they recognize the hurts and the tough times too. They let us see ourselves fully, without leaving anything out, and remind us that our pain doesn’t make us worth any less.

By facing the truth of our lives without covering up the tough parts, we build resilience and release ourselves from fantasies about what could, should or would be.

The Power of Keeping It Real

Think about the difference between a story that ends with “and they lived happily ever after” and one that goes, “they faced many challenges, but they grew with each one.”

The second story doesn’t hide the struggles or the pain; it includes them as part of the journey, showing that healing isn’t about making scars disappear but learning to see them as signs of our unique strength.

This approach doesn’t mean we focus on the pain for the sake of it but recognising it as a step towards understanding and peace.

A nurturing story doesn’t simplify the complicated emotions of trauma or grief; it opens a path through them. It makes room for reflection, anger, sadness, and eventually, acceptance, offering a complete approach to healing that respects every part of our human experience.

How to Build Stories That Heal

So, how do we start building these healing stories? I begin with journaling honestly. I don’t leave out the parts that seem too dark or too sad. I share these stories with friends I trust or in supportive groups where our stories are met with understanding and not judgment.

I also look for books, movies, and art that showcase this kind of honest storytelling. The story of Jonah from the Book of Jonah has been particularly helpful for me. 

Those familiar with it might recall how Jonah boards a ship, which then encounters a storm, causing the vessel to rock. This reminds me of a time when a relationship in my life became shaky.

As a result, Jonah was thrown overboard and swallowed by a whale. For me, the whale symbolises suffering, or you might say, the dark night of the soul. After I was asked to ‘leave the village’ because of this troubled relationship, I too found myself in the belly of suffering.

Eventually, Jonah is spat out onto a beach. Here, the story teaches me that my suffering was simply transportation—a way to move me from there to here, to a new place of freedom.

This narrative helps me to appreciate every aspect of my experience. I often ask myself, ‘Where would you rather be, on a rocky boat at sea with people willing to throw you overboard, or on a new beach?’

For those familiar with the original tale, you’ll see that I have made it my own. This means looking at the story as it speaks to my experience. I am aware that I am missing some plot points and as a result have made one story into two. However, I see no problem with remaining open and honoring both the context in which it was written and the myriad of interpretations it has accumulated over the centuries, as well as a new story that illustrates my experience and assists with healing.

This reimagining has led me to a narrative that fills me with gratitude—not only for the journey but also for the outcome, despite the pain, loss, and disappointment.

A Journey to True Healing

By choosing stories that nurture without hiding the tough realities, we empower ourselves to heal more fully and help others do the same. We learn how to use every part of our story as a source of strength.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and it’s different for everyone. It’s a personal process that does best with a realistic story—one that embraces all that life throws our way. By committing to heal without hiding anything, we commit to a life full of authenticity, resilience, and, ultimately, deeper joy.

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

Visual Techniques for Dealing with Painful Thoughts and Emotions: The Power of Imagination

Dealing with painful thoughts and emotions is a universal challenge. For a while now, journaling has been my go to for offloading anger, frustration, feelings of rejection and dare I say it, red hot rage. I stand by a regular journaling practice – writing things down really helps me, however of late, I’ve found something else that has provided almost instant relief. 

Imaginative techniques can offer profound reprieve and clarity. One such method involves visualising emotions as tangible objects and placing them before someone wiser, someone more equipped to handle them. 

The Power of Visualization

Visualisation is a powerful tool that taps into our innate creativity and the mind’s ability to transcend immediate emotional turmoil. By giving form to abstract feelings, we can externalise and better manage them. This technique is particularly useful when I struggle with articulating emotions (finding the words).

Turning Emotions into Objects

I imagine my anger as a coil of coins, stacked and wrapped in brown paper (weird I know, but that’s what anger feels like to me). I visualise myself sliding these coins across a table, feeling their weight and the texture of the paper. This simple act of imagining my anger as something tangible provides a sense of control and distance from the emotion.

I see my sadness as a heavy stone, my anxiety as a bag of razors. By visualising these feelings as objects, I can acknowledge their presence without being entirely consumed by them. This practice allows me to interact with emotions in a new, more manageable way.

Seeking the Wisdom of Others

The next step is to place these visualised objects before someone wiser, someone more equipped to deal with them. A symbolic figure representing wisdom and compassion. For me, this figure is Love personified—an entity capable of understanding and sorting out even the most complexed problems.

I Imagine sliding my stack of anger across the table to this person. In my mind’s eye, I watch as they examine it and understand it. They nod to acknowledge what I have given them and I turn away.

The Benefits of This Technique

Externalising my emotions offers a valuable perspective, allowing me to view them more objectively. In an object, emotions are contained. They have limits. They can be controlled, analysed and transferred. Thay are stationary until we move them and only have the power we give them.

Sharing emotional burdens, reinforces the concept that I do not have to carry burdens alone. This act of sharing, through visualising the transfer of emotions, lightens the load and provides a sense of support and understanding. 

Visualising and then relinquishing emotions to someone wiser empowers me to take control of my emotional well-being. This technique fosters a sense of agency and self-empowerment, as I actively engage in managing my emotions.

By entrusting my feelings to a figure of wisdom, I create a mental framework where I are not dominated by my emotions, but rather, I am in charge. This empowerment can lead to a healthier emotional state and a stronger sense of personal resilience.

Putting It into Practice

To incorporate this technique into your routine, whenever overwhelming emotions arise, close your eyes, and imagine your feelings in physical form. Identify the dominant emotion you are feeling and imagine it as an object. 

Next, picture the wise figure you’ve chosen. Visualise placing the object in front of them. It is their job to deal with it. Only when you leave it, can they do so.

Final Words

After only a short time of practising this technique, I have noticed its liberating effects.  The technique allowed me to externalise and observe my emotions from a distance, transforming them from overwhelming waves into manageable insights.

Additionally, I found myself becoming more emotionally resilient. Instead of being swept away by negative feelings, I have a way to master them. Moreover, the empowerment I gained from this practice is incredibly motivating. It is reassuring to know that I have a reliable tool to turn to whenever I feel overwhelmed. 

Categories
heart and soul Therapeutic Writing Prompts

Navigating the Loss of Your Former Self: Tips for Healing

grieving your former self

This week marks five years since I made the decision to step away from church and end my involvement in church ministry. While the reasons for this are complex and not the focus of this post, I want to say that leaving my denomination was a crucial step for preserving my mental and emotional health. In the process I lost a part of myself, laid my way of life to rest and began the course of grieving my former self.

Recognizing the Grief of Self-Loss

Grieving who you used to be is a unique and often overlooked form of grief. This can be just as painful and confusing as any other type of loss. When I left the church, I left behind a significant part of my identity. That version of me was deeply entwined with my faith community, my roles, and my routines. Losing that meant I had to redefine who I am and what I believe. 

When we lose a part of ourselves, the impact often ripples through various areas of our lives. We face not only a shift in our self-perception but also changes in relationships and our envisioned future. This loss can affect your finances and social life, among other aspects.

Allowing Yourself to Feel

The first step in navigating this kind of grief is allowing yourself to feel it fully. Don’t rush the process or try to ignore your feelings. Give yourself permission to mourn the person you used to be.  For me, this began after I had grieved a significant relationship in my life. It was the grief that came after grief.

It’s okay to miss a former version of yourself and to feel a sense of loss. Acknowledge the impact that past self had on your life and understand that it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to anger to confusion.

My past self was more trusting. She had an exuberance based on naivety. I often miss having her perspective.

Journaling Your Experience with a Therapeutic Tool

One effective way to aid in healing is through journaling. Using resources like my book, ‘The Remains of Burning: Therapeutic Journal,’ can provide structured prompts and exercises that guide you in expressing and processing these complex feelings.

Consider writing a letter to your former self as part of this practice. This method allows you to confront feelings directly, provide closure, and articulate your emotions, facilitating deep emotional healing.

Seeking Support

Just because this grief is personal doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. Seek out support from friends, family, or a professional who can provide a listening ear and a safe space to express your feelings. 

It’s important to note, not everyone will understand how and why you have changed. And to be honest, most will not even care. But finding one safe person who seeks to understand can be incredibly healing.

They don’t need to have all the answers; they just need to be there for you. I am fortunate enough to have a handful of hearts that acknowledge what I’ve been through and how it has changed me.

Reflecting on Your Changes

Write about what you’ve learned, how you’ve changed, and the positive aspects of your former self and what you’ve gained from that part of your life. This can help you appreciate the growth that has come from your loss.

Honour who you were, recognising that that person didn’t have what it takes to survive what they experienced. They did not know what you know now. They needed to morph into ‘you’ to cope with the current terrain. The new version of yourself is the one that will carry you into your future. 

Embracing the New You

This process includes discovering new interests, forging new relationships, and establishing new goals.  If this feels overwhelming, know that I understand. For a considerable time, after losing my former self, everything seemed underwhelming. Healing became my day job. I had to actively seek beauty just to experience emotion that counteracted my jadedness.

With time, I begin to recognise the small but significant opportunities that come with embracing the person I have become.

Finding Purpose

One of the most healing actions you can take is to find new purpose and meaning in your life. Craft a new vision, write it down, run with it.

This doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out right away, but start exploring what brings you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s a new hobby, a new career path, or a new community, finding something that gives you a sense of purpose can be incredibly empowering.

I’m the Same but Different.

Here’s a writing exercise that has been particularly helpful for me: In your journal, create two columns. In the first column, list all the traits you miss about your former self. In the second column, describe how these qualities manifest in your life today, perhaps in different forms but still providing value. 

For instance, I used to cherish my sheer passion for life and my unshakeable belief in a bright future. After completing this exercise, I realised these traits now appear as gratitude and a strong sense of being present in my current life. Essentially, I’ve traded the intoxication of future-based pipe dreams for a profound appreciation of my current circumstances and what I have now.

Final Words

No matter how you have changed, the best thing about losing a version of yourself is the opportunity it creates for growth and reinvention. It’s a chance to shed limitations and explore new possibilities that align with who you are now.

There’s no question that the person I am today is braver, less judgmental, less controlling, and more empathetic. True, I may have lost a bit of vigor, and certain places, spaces, and faces don’t resonate as they once did. However, it’s growth, not grievances, that drives these changes—and I think that’s a truly beautiful thing.

Categories
Journaling Therapeutic Writing Prompts

Why My New Journaling Method Could Be a Game Changer for You

A Fresh Perspective on Journalling

Journaling has always been a cornerstone of my personal development, and I’m thrilled to share a new method that I believe could revolutionize how we approach this powerful tool. This strategy is not just about reflection; it’s about transforming those reflections into actionable steps that lead to real, tangible change in our lives.

Understanding the Basics of My Journaling Approach

At the heart of my journaling technique is the transition from thought to action. This approach doesn’t just encourage introspection but pushes you to act on the insights you gain. It’s about turning your journal from a repository of thoughts into a catalyst for real-world action, whether that’s in improving relationships, personal growth, or career advancement.

Why This Could Be Your Journaling Breakthrough

Traditional journaling often ends with the reflection itself, but my method breaks that mold by urging you to set actionable goals based on your journal entries. This shift can dramatically increase your engagement with your personal goals and make each journaling session a proactive step towards achieving them.

Real-Life Benefits of Applying My Method

Those who have adopted my journaling method often tell me how it has not only changed the way they write but the way they live. They feel more in control and directed, turning everyday insights into steps towards personal success. It’s not just about writing better; it’s about living better.

Explore at Your Own Pace

I’m passionate about this method and genuinely believe in its potential to positively impact lives. However, the best way to see its value is to try it yourself. Incorporate it into your routine at your own pace and see what changes it brings to both your journaling and your overall well-being.

Your Next Steps

Are you ready to elevate your journaling into a more effective tool for self-improvement? If you’re looking for a way to not only understand your thoughts but also act on them, my new journaling method might just be what you need. 

Pop your name and email in to download the journaling steps that will move you from insight to action.

Categories
life lessons Poetry Publishing

Finding Clarity: Reflections on Light

finding clarity

Let’s start with a poem.


Epiphany

Love is light,  
And so is the absence of love.  
It is both the way we are remembered  
And casually forgotten.  
It is the loyalty of a heart.  
It is the betrayal of a promise.  
Light is darkness and the flame.  
It is a face in full sun  
And a face wet with rain.  
Light is the climb and the descent.  
Both hunger pains and a belly full of bread.  
I see it in your eyes.  
I hear it in your words.  
I hold it in your absence.  
I be it in rebirth.

The Dual Nature of Light: Clarity and Shadows

When we think of light, we often envision clarity and warmth. It’s the glow of the sun on our faces, the flame that lights our path. 

Yet, light also reveals shadows, those hidden parts of ourselves and our relationships that we may not always wish to see. Just as love can bring us closer to others, it can also expose our vulnerabilities and fears.

Light as a Metaphor for Clarity

In this poem, light is a metaphor for clarity, a way to find our path in the darkness. In moments of confusion or doubt, it’s the light of understanding that guides us. 

As we navigate the complexities of life, finding clarity becomes crucial. We seek to understand our feelings, our relationships, and our place in the world.

Illuminating Hidden Truths

Both love and fear have the power to uncover hidden truths in our lives. Love reveals our capacity for deep connection, kindness, and selflessness, shedding light on the positive aspects of our relationships and interactions.

It can bring to the surface the ways we cherish and support others, highlighting the strengths we might not always recognize.

Conversely, fear exposes our vulnerabilities, insecurities, and the darker aspects of our experiences. It forces us to confront the issues we’ve avoided, revealing the areas where we need growth or healing. 

Together, love and fear act as illuminating forces, helping us to better understand ourselves and the world around us. By acknowledging both, we gain a more comprehensive and truthful perspective on our lives.

Finding Clarity in Both Presence and Absence

In the final lines of the poem “Epiphany,” we are reminded of the subtle ways we can find clarity through the words and deeds of others. “I see it in your eyes” suggests that body language often tells us profound truths that words might miss. 

“I hear it in your voice” emphasizes that both what is said and what is left unsaid can reveal deep insights into our relationships and experiences. “I hold it in your absence” highlights how actions, especially the lack thereof, can speak volumes and provide clarity about what truly matters. 

Finally, “I be it in rebirth” signifies that we can find light and clarity as we rebuild our lives after difficult times. By seeking light in both the presence and absence of things, we open ourselves to constant epiphanies. 

There is always light, even in the pitch-black darkness. In fact, the darkness itself can be a source of light. Your pain speaks as loudly as your joy, revealing deep truths.

Both the living and the dead illuminate wisdom and understanding. No matter where you are, there is light. Look for the lessons in every situation—they are the way forward.

—

The poem featured in this blog post is from my upcoming collection, “If You’re Looking for Brightness: Words on Light and Where to Find It,” coming in 2024.

Categories
Creativity life lessons

The Art of Reblooming: Finding Renewal and Growth

The art of reblooming

Having earned my diploma in floristry, I worked as a florist in the years after I left school. In that time, I learned a lot about flowers, and not just how to arrange them.

Flowers are amazing because they do so many things. They attract bees and other pollinators, help plants reproduce, and add to the diversity of life around us. Each flower has its own unique shape and colour, which shows how they’ve adapted to their environment. 

Working with flowers made me appreciate how they’re more than just pretty objects. They symbolise emotions, commemorate important moments in our lives, and maintain our connection to the natural world. Moreover, flowers represent growth and renewal, reminding us of the continuous cycles of life and the beauty of new beginnings.

Growth and renewal are fundamental aspects of life. This concept of reblooming—of coming into bloom again after a period of dormancy or decline—is a powerful metaphor for the resilience and renewal we can find within ourselves.

What Does Reblooming Mean?

In the world of floristry, reblooming is the phenomenon where plants flower more than once in their growing season. Similarly, in our lives, reblooming can mean recovering from setbacks, finding new energy after burnout, or embracing new beginnings after endings. It’s a reminder that it’s always possible to flourish again, despite past difficulties.

Embracing Life’s Cycles

Just as perennials in the garden bloom anew each season, we too can find opportunities for renewal at different stages of our lives. Recognizing that life is composed of cycles — each with its own time for growth and rejuvenation — helps us maintain hope and stay open to new possibilities.

How to Embrace Change and Reblooming

To successfully rebloom, embracing change is essential. Here’s how you can start:

-Let Go of the Past: Release old habits and beliefs that don’t serve your growth. This is akin to pruning dead flowers to make way for new growth.

Letting go is often a gradual process, like lifting one finger at a time before releasing something from your palm. It’s scary and lonely, and there’s often grief and doubt to navigate through. Sometimes, we have to let go of beliefs, people, or ways of living that we never imagined we would, making the shock of it all yet another aspect to process.

– Cultivate New Habits: Like a gardener nurturing their plants, cultivate habits and thoughts that encourage growth and positivity. Put yourself in the way of beauty, seeking out and appreciating the small wonders in everyday life.

Practice gratitude to shift your focus to the positive aspects of your experiences. Learn to be present, embracing each moment fully without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Embrace creativity and self-expression, allowing yourself the freedom to explore and develop your unique talents and passions. By doing so, you create a fertile environment for personal growth and fulfillment.

-Stay Open to Learning: Every phase of life has lessons to offer. Stay curious and open to the new insights each season brings. Learning is growing, and intentionally enrolling in education can move your life forward with assistance.

It’s like hopping on a train—the syllabus will take you somewhere, and by the time you have completed your study, you will have arrived at another destination. 

Learning is easier than ever, so don’t let time or finances get in the way. If you can’t afford to enroll in a course, commit to watching a series of YouTube videos about a subject, listening to a podcast series, or visiting your local or online library to indulge in learning.

Trust me when I say learning can be a lifeline.

The Benefits of Reblooming

Reblooming is not merely about recovery; it’s about reaching new levels of growth and understanding. It can lead to increased resilience, deeper self-awareness, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Each time we rebloom, we enhance our capacity to navigate life’s challenges.

Embracing the idea of reblooming can transform how we view our lives. It encourages us to keep evolving and growing, no matter what challenges we face.

Remember, with each season, there’s a fresh opportunity to start anew and bloom once again.

Poem used in the image is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’, musing on the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world.