Category: heart and soul

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heart and soul life lessons

Visual Techniques for Dealing with Painful Thoughts and Emotions: The Power of Imagination

Dealing with painful thoughts and emotions is a universal challenge. For a while now, journaling has been my go to for offloading anger, frustration, feelings of rejection and dare I say it, red hot rage. I stand by a regular journaling practice – writing things down really helps me, however of late, I’ve found something else that has provided almost instant relief. 

Imaginative techniques can offer profound reprieve and clarity. One such method involves visualising emotions as tangible objects and placing them before someone wiser, someone more equipped to handle them. 

The Power of Visualization

Visualisation is a powerful tool that taps into our innate creativity and the mind’s ability to transcend immediate emotional turmoil. By giving form to abstract feelings, we can externalise and better manage them. This technique is particularly useful when I struggle with articulating emotions (finding the words).

Turning Emotions into Objects

I imagine my anger as a coil of coins, stacked and wrapped in brown paper (weird I know, but that’s what anger feels like to me). I visualise myself sliding these coins across a table, feeling their weight and the texture of the paper. This simple act of imagining my anger as something tangible provides a sense of control and distance from the emotion.

I see my sadness as a heavy stone, my anxiety as a bag of razors. By visualising these feelings as objects, I can acknowledge their presence without being entirely consumed by them. This practice allows me to interact with emotions in a new, more manageable way.

Seeking the Wisdom of Others

The next step is to place these visualised objects before someone wiser, someone more equipped to deal with them. A symbolic figure representing wisdom and compassion. For me, this figure is Love personified—an entity capable of understanding and sorting out even the most complexed problems.

I Imagine sliding my stack of anger across the table to this person. In my mind’s eye, I watch as they examine it and understand it. They nod to acknowledge what I have given them and I turn away.

The Benefits of This Technique

Externalising my emotions offers a valuable perspective, allowing me to view them more objectively. In an object, emotions are contained. They have limits. They can be controlled, analysed and transferred. Thay are stationary until we move them and only have the power we give them.

Sharing emotional burdens, reinforces the concept that I do not have to carry burdens alone. This act of sharing, through visualising the transfer of emotions, lightens the load and provides a sense of support and understanding. 

Visualising and then relinquishing emotions to someone wiser empowers me to take control of my emotional well-being. This technique fosters a sense of agency and self-empowerment, as I actively engage in managing my emotions.

By entrusting my feelings to a figure of wisdom, I create a mental framework where I are not dominated by my emotions, but rather, I am in charge. This empowerment can lead to a healthier emotional state and a stronger sense of personal resilience.

Putting It into Practice

To incorporate this technique into your routine, whenever overwhelming emotions arise, close your eyes, and imagine your feelings in physical form. Identify the dominant emotion you are feeling and imagine it as an object. 

Next, picture the wise figure you’ve chosen. Visualise placing the object in front of them. It is their job to deal with it. Only when you leave it, can they do so.

Final Words

After only a short time of practising this technique, I have noticed its liberating effects.  The technique allowed me to externalise and observe my emotions from a distance, transforming them from overwhelming waves into manageable insights.

Additionally, I found myself becoming more emotionally resilient. Instead of being swept away by negative feelings, I have a way to master them. Moreover, the empowerment I gained from this practice is incredibly motivating. It is reassuring to know that I have a reliable tool to turn to whenever I feel overwhelmed. 

Categories
heart and soul Therapeutic Writing Prompts

Navigating the Loss of Your Former Self: Tips for Healing

grieving your former self

This week marks five years since I made the decision to step away from church and end my involvement in church ministry. While the reasons for this are complex and not the focus of this post, I want to say that leaving my denomination was a crucial step for preserving my mental and emotional health. In the process I lost a part of myself, laid my way of life to rest and began the course of grieving my former self.

Recognizing the Grief of Self-Loss

Grieving who you used to be is a unique and often overlooked form of grief. This can be just as painful and confusing as any other type of loss. When I left the church, I left behind a significant part of my identity. That version of me was deeply entwined with my faith community, my roles, and my routines. Losing that meant I had to redefine who I am and what I believe. 

When we lose a part of ourselves, the impact often ripples through various areas of our lives. We face not only a shift in our self-perception but also changes in relationships and our envisioned future. This loss can affect your finances and social life, among other aspects.

Allowing Yourself to Feel

The first step in navigating this kind of grief is allowing yourself to feel it fully. Don’t rush the process or try to ignore your feelings. Give yourself permission to mourn the person you used to be.  For me, this began after I had grieved a significant relationship in my life. It was the grief that came after grief.

It’s okay to miss a former version of yourself and to feel a sense of loss. Acknowledge the impact that past self had on your life and understand that it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to anger to confusion.

My past self was more trusting. She had an exuberance based on naivety. I often miss having her perspective.

Journaling Your Experience with a Therapeutic Tool

One effective way to aid in healing is through journaling. Using resources like my book, ‘The Remains of Burning: Therapeutic Journal,’ can provide structured prompts and exercises that guide you in expressing and processing these complex feelings.

Consider writing a letter to your former self as part of this practice. This method allows you to confront feelings directly, provide closure, and articulate your emotions, facilitating deep emotional healing.

Seeking Support

Just because this grief is personal doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. Seek out support from friends, family, or a professional who can provide a listening ear and a safe space to express your feelings. 

It’s important to note, not everyone will understand how and why you have changed. And to be honest, most will not even care. But finding one safe person who seeks to understand can be incredibly healing.

They don’t need to have all the answers; they just need to be there for you. I am fortunate enough to have a handful of hearts that acknowledge what I’ve been through and how it has changed me.

Reflecting on Your Changes

Write about what you’ve learned, how you’ve changed, and the positive aspects of your former self and what you’ve gained from that part of your life. This can help you appreciate the growth that has come from your loss.

Honour who you were, recognising that that person didn’t have what it takes to survive what they experienced. They did not know what you know now. They needed to morph into ‘you’ to cope with the current terrain. The new version of yourself is the one that will carry you into your future. 

Embracing the New You

This process includes discovering new interests, forging new relationships, and establishing new goals.  If this feels overwhelming, know that I understand. For a considerable time, after losing my former self, everything seemed underwhelming. Healing became my day job. I had to actively seek beauty just to experience emotion that counteracted my jadedness.

With time, I begin to recognise the small but significant opportunities that come with embracing the person I have become.

Finding Purpose

One of the most healing actions you can take is to find new purpose and meaning in your life. Craft a new vision, write it down, run with it.

This doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out right away, but start exploring what brings you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s a new hobby, a new career path, or a new community, finding something that gives you a sense of purpose can be incredibly empowering.

I’m the Same but Different.

Here’s a writing exercise that has been particularly helpful for me: In your journal, create two columns. In the first column, list all the traits you miss about your former self. In the second column, describe how these qualities manifest in your life today, perhaps in different forms but still providing value. 

For instance, I used to cherish my sheer passion for life and my unshakeable belief in a bright future. After completing this exercise, I realised these traits now appear as gratitude and a strong sense of being present in my current life. Essentially, I’ve traded the intoxication of future-based pipe dreams for a profound appreciation of my current circumstances and what I have now.

Final Words

No matter how you have changed, the best thing about losing a version of yourself is the opportunity it creates for growth and reinvention. It’s a chance to shed limitations and explore new possibilities that align with who you are now.

There’s no question that the person I am today is braver, less judgmental, less controlling, and more empathetic. True, I may have lost a bit of vigor, and certain places, spaces, and faces don’t resonate as they once did. However, it’s growth, not grievances, that drives these changes—and I think that’s a truly beautiful thing.

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

Mothering Teens with Patience and Resilience: 3 Key Challenges

mothering teens

Mothering teens -Wow!! To say that I’ve had to learn a lot about patience and resilience is an understatement.

So here, I’m sharing some real talk about the highs and lows of mothering teens.

Responding to Mockery

When our teens make fun of us, whether it’s about our actions or how we look, it can sting.

Consider my experience as a longtime dancer. After years of identifying myself through dance, hearing my kids joke that I “can’t dance” felt like a jab at my identity . 

One day, inspired by their comments, I watched myself dance in the mirror. What I saw was a middle-aged woman executing all the right moves, yet not looking quite as ‘cool’ as I felt. It was enlightening.

This scenario made me realize that teens often view us through a different lens, influenced by contemporary standards and peer perceptions. Their mockery isn’t necessarily malicious but reflects our differing views on style, ability, and even appearance. 

I believe it is absolutely okay to tell your kids how their comments about our appearance or actions make us feel, but it’s crucial to approach these conversations in a way that encourages understanding instead of causing defensiveness.

Instead of reacting defensively, we can use these moments to discuss our life experiences and the changes we’ve gone through, including our looks. It opens up a dialogue about aging gracefully, respecting differences, and celebrating our unique paths in life. 

Navigating the Grief of Digital Disconnection

The presence of technology in my children’s lives has often left me feeling a sense of grief.  I know many parents of teens feel the same. 

This emotional response stems from witnessing our children engaging online, participating in a digital world that seems separate from our own. This can create a barrier that keeps us from fully connecting with our children, even when they are physically present.

This digital divide can be particularly palpable during family times, like family holidays, where the clash between the online world and the real world becomes more evident.

It’s not just the frustration of competing with devices for attention; it’s a deeper longing for our children to experience life without the constant buzz of social media, to engage with the world directly and create memories that aren’t mediated through a screen.

Although I have always put boundaries around technology in place, this does not quench their desire to be ‘with’ their friends online rather than with me. 

On the other hand,  I  have  also felt pain when my children are not interacting at all as it is often a sign that they have been excluded, leaving them without a place to engage. 

It’s a paradox: we yearn for our kids to engage and connect, yet we also wish they wouldn’t spend all their time tethered to digital interactions.

This particular parenting challenge uniquely affects those raising teens who are not only exposed to this technology but are also intricately woven into its social fabric.

Our parents, who came before the age of smartphones and social media, cannot fully grasp this issue, and our children, who have never known a world without constant digital connection, can’t either. 

To effectively process this grief, we must fully acknowledge the disappointments and challenges that technology has introduced into our parenting experience.

Recognizing these feelings is the first step in managing them constructively.

Confronting Fear

Maybe responding to their mockery or navigating grief around technology seems like child’s play to you. You might be dealing with serious issues like drug use, depression, intense conflict or risky behaviors. 

Your teen may lash out, using harsh words that cut deep, blaming you for their struggles, and making you long for the days when they were content and carefree.

You might feel lost, wondering where your joyful child went and if you’ll ever have a strong relationship again.

In these moments, the guilt, pain, frustration, and fear can feel all-consuming.

Fear—now that’s a word we need to unpack when it comes to parenting. 

Fear can manifest as a constant undercurrent in our daily interactions, or surge forth in moments of crisis. Either way, it demands our attention and acknowledgment. 

By admitting we are afraid, we can begin to understand how fear impacts our decisions and interactions, allowing us to approach parenting our teen with more awareness and compassion.

A Word of Encouragement for Mothers of Teens.

You can do this!

If you’ve made mistakes, remember, you’re not alone—we all have. 

If you’re feeling the sting of the gaps technology has created within your family, it’s okay to acknowledge that frustration; it’s a common and very real challenge for many parents. 

If you feel mocked or unappreciated, remember, their words are not the truth but merely a perspective that will evolve as they mature. 

If your child is struggling, whether dealing with emotional pain, or confused about their identity and place in the world, continue to show your love.

Build them up with your words and actions, be their biggest cheerleader, and show them all the ways you find them incredible. 

Serve them with kindness, offer them a listening ear, and when they turn you away, gently let them know, “I’m here if you change your mind.” 

And above all, keep listening, and when challenges become too daunting to face alone, don’t hesitate to call for backup.

To read how Journalling has helped me to navigate mothering teens click here.

Categories
Creativity heart and soul life lessons

Investing in the Unknown: When Is It Worth Risking Time, Money, and Energy?

investing in the unknown

In the pursuit of any creative dream—whether you’re a writer, musician, artist, or creator—there comes a pivotal moment. It’s that heart-thumping instance where you stand at the crossroads of inspiration and practicality. The question looms: “Is investing in my creative passion worth the risk?” I know, I’ve asked myself this many times and the answer is always found in unpacking my fears.

Understanding the Stakes

To me, investing in the unknown  often feels like wandering through a fog—exciting yet intimidating. This isn’t just about financial investment. It’s about the hours of practice, the emotional energy in creating something personal, and the vulnerability of sharing it with the world. 

Recognizing what’s at stake is the first step toward rational, yet passionate, decision-making. First, I acknowledge that there are risks and that is why I feel resistance and apprehension.

The Real Cost of ‘What If?’

Before you turn away from your dream due to fear of the unknown, consider the cost of the unexplored path. What is the price of not knowing what could have been? 

I have a habit of focusing on the risk of failure neglecting the equally significant risk of regret. When I pull myself up on this taking a more balanced approach, the thought of never trying then becomes a far greater burden than the potential loss of resources.

Risk vs. Reward: A Creative Calculation

Not every creative venture will succeed in conventional terms. But every effort has taught me something valuable. Whether it’s improving my skills, expanding my network, or simply discovering my limits, these are the intangible rewards that I feel outweigh initial costs.

When assessing risk, I ask myself: Can I handle the emotional and financial impact if this doesn’t go as planned? What might I gain, even if I don’t achieve my original goal?

These questions help to pivot my perspective from seeing an unknown outcome solely as a potential loss to viewing it as a field of possibilities.

Investment in Yourself Is Never Wasted

When we invest in creativity, we’re building more than just a portfolio; we’re developing ourselves. Each step forward enhances our resilience, hones our craft, and deepens our understanding of both our capabilities and our potential. These are the tools that build not just a project, but an expansive creative life.

When I invest in my creativity I am also investing in my joy, fulfillment, sense of purpose and satisfaction that financial success alone cannot match.

Navigating the Unknown with Strategic Steps

While embracing risks is part of the creative process, being strategic about it can reduce unnecessary losses. Remember these three things:

  • You can start small: Before I wrote my first lil poetry book, I posted poems anonymously on instagram. 
  • Seek Feedback: Seek out mentorship. For me this looked like entering competitions where my work would be critiqued.
  • Build Incrementally: Instead of pouring all resources into one big project, develop in stages.

The Leap of Faith

Ultimately, investing in the unknown requires a leap of faith, but most often it is a calculated one.  While not all my investments have paid off in ways I wanted, all have contributed to my growth and understanding of my work and myself.

So, is it worth it? Perhaps better questions to ask might be, ‘Am I taking it far enough? Am I allowing myself the space to fully explore and embrace the possibilities before me? Will I look back on this moment in my life knowing that with wisdom I courageously moved forward? 

Categories
heart and soul Journaling

Finding Freedom through Surrender Journaling

surrender journalling

Surrender journaling is a path offering a unique blend of introspection, release, and transformation.

Unlike traditional journaling, which might focus on the day’s events or future aspirations, surrender journaling invites us to let go, to release what we cannot control, and to find freedom in acceptance.

Today I want to talk to you about my experience with the liberating practice of surrender journaling and outline practical steps to integrate this method into your daily life.

What is Surrender Journaling?

Surrender journaling is a reflective practice that focuses on the art of letting go. 

It is about acknowledging our fears, anxieties, and the facets of life we can’t control, then consciously deciding to release them through the written word.

This method contrasts with conventional journaling by its emphasis on emotional release rather than mere documentation or planning. 

Surrender journaling serves as a gentle reminder that not all burdens are ours to carry and that there’s profound strength in vulnerability and acceptance.

The Power of Letting Go

The act of letting go can be transformative. Surrender journaling taps into this power, aiding in the alleviation of mental burdens and promoting a sense of peace. 

This practice encourages us to confront our inner turmoil, not with the intention to solve it on the spot, but to acknowledge its presence and then set it free. 

This process can lead to decreased stress levels, enhanced mental clarity, and a deeper connection with our inner selves.

Steps to Effective Surrender Journaling

Surrender journaling involves more than just pen and paper. Here are some steps to guide you:

  • Creating a Safe Space: Begin by finding a quiet, comfortable spot where you feel secure and undisturbed. This space should invite openness and reflection, setting the stage for honest introspection.
  • Setting Intentions: Before you start writing, take a moment to set your intentions. Ask yourself what you wish to release or understand better. This focused mindset primes you for a more purposeful journaling experience.
  • Embracing Honesty and Vulnerability: Write freely and without self-judgment. Let your fears, disappointments, and uncertainties flow onto the page. Remember, this journal is a private sanctuary for your thoughts; there’s no need for filters here.
  • Practicing Gratitude and Acceptance: Amidst acknowledging your struggles, make room to note what you’re grateful for. This balance fosters a healthier perspective, recognizing that even in chaos, there are glimmers of hope and joy.
  • Reflecting and Releasing: After writing, spend a few moments in reflection. Some find it helpful to read their entries aloud or to meditate on the words written. Consider closing each session with a small ritual, like taking a deep breath and imagining the weight of your worries lifting off 

Surrender journaling is not a quick fix but a journey towards self-discovery and liberation. It requires commitment, patience, and an open heart.

As you continue to practice, you’ll likely find your relationship with surrender evolving, leading to deeper insights and greater emotional freedom.

Personally, surrender journaling offered me a path to unburden my soul and embrace life’s unpredictable tides with grace and resilience. By committing to this practice, I took significant steps towards emotional well-being. 

Remember, the act of letting go first feels impossible. But in time as you commit to being consistent with this practice you will see and feel the benefits that surrender journaling in all aspects of your life. 

For more posts about journalling click here.

The poem featured in the image of this blog post is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’ musings in reflection of the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world.

Categories
heart and soul Journaling life lessons

Solo Steps: The Power of Personal Breakthrough

personal breakthrough
pic of a girl running freely

In life, every individual encounters moments that are pivotal to personal growth and transformation. These moments, or personal breakthroughs, are akin to reaching a new summit in one’s inner life.

Drawing inspiration from the poem “Because I Am Scaling an Inner Summit,” this blog post delves into the essence of personal breakthroughs and the role of journaling as a tool for personal growth.

Understanding Personal Breakthroughs

A personal breakthrough can be described as a moment of clarity, a sudden insight, or a profound realization that leads to significant personal development.

It’s like a lightbulb moment that illuminates a path previously shrouded in darkness, providing direction and purpose. These breakthroughs often occur during periods of adversity, reflecting the poem’s theme of overcoming internal struggles to reach new heights of self-awareness and understanding.

Journal Prompt:

Reflect on a time when you experienced a personal breakthrough. What were the circumstances leading up to it, and how did it change your perspective or approach to life?

The Role of Journaling in Personal Growth

Journaling is more than just a method of recording daily events; it’s a powerful tool for introspection, self-expression, and mental clarity.

Through the act of writing, we can untangle complex thoughts, explore emotions, and identify patterns in our behavior and thinking that may be hindering our growth.

Journal Prompt:

Write about a recurring thought or feeling you’ve noticed in your journal entries. How does it influence your actions, and what steps can you take to address it?

Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery

Each breakthrough, whether big or small, is a step forward in understanding oneself and navigating the complexities of life.

Again, the poem “Because I Am Scaling an Inner Summit” encapsulates what the journey feels like for me.

I realized that my capacity had diminished. Simple tasks, such as washing my hair, now required a significant amount of energy. Despite my life appearing calm and manageable on the surface, internally, it felt like I was playing an intense game of “the floor is lava.” I had to spend a substantial portion of my energy navigating my emotions, in pursuit of a personal breakthrough.

Journal Prompt:

Imagine your life as a mountain you’re climbing. What does the summit represent for you, and what obstacles do you need to overcome to reach it?

Nurturing Resilience Through Reflection

Journaling not only facilitates personal growth but also fosters resilience. By documenting your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you create a personal archive that can serve as a reminder of your strength and adaptability in the face of challenges.

Journal Prompt:

Look back on a difficult period in your life and write about how you navigated through it. What strengths did you discover about yourself, and how can they help you in future challenges?

The Summit Awaits

Personal breakthroughs mark our progress as we scale the inner summits of our minds and spirits. Journaling, as a companion on this journey, provides a space for reflection, learning, and preparation for the next climb. 

Take your solo steps with courage and conviction, knowing that some things can only be won by one. That’s you. You are the one that must climb to the summit.

Your breakthrough may be just around the corner.

The poem featured in this post id from the collection ‘The Remains of Burning’. Available from bookstores worldwide.

For more journal prompts click here

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

Valentine’s Day: The Myths and Truths of Love.

Valentines Day

As Valentine’s Day rolls around, it brings with it a mix of emotions, expectations, and stereotypes about love. From cinema screens to store shelves, the narrative of romantic love is adorned with grand gestures, expensive gifts, and picture-perfect moments.

But beneath the red roses and heart-shaped chocolates lies the real essence of love, often obscured by these prevalent myths. Before the big day, let’s debunk some common Valentine’s Day myths and shed light on the truths of genuine love.

Myth 1: Love Is All About Grand Gestures

Valentine’s Day is synonymous with grand romantic gestures. Advertisements and social media often portray love as an elaborate affair, involving luxury gifts, exotic vacations, and surprise proposals.

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with celebrating love grandly, this portrayal can create unrealistic expectations. 

At nineteen, my boyfriend pulled out all the stops for Valentine’s Day. He showered me with roses, chocolates, and teddy bears, going above and beyond in his gestures. It was an extraordinary outpouring of gifts, more than I’ve ever in my life received for Valentine’s Day.

Yet, despite this lavish display, our relationship came to an end just two weeks later. The truth was, we weren’t in love, even if the grand Valentine’s Day gestures might have suggested otherwise to those looking in from the outside.

Truth: Love is in the Daily Acts of Kindness

True love is found in the often-overlooked acts of kindness and understanding. It’s found in the comfort of a shared silence, the warmth of a reassuring hug, and the security of a handheld during tough times.

Genuine love is built on a foundation of consistent, small acts of care and loyalty that strengthen the bond over time.

Myth 2: Valentine’s Day Must be Perfect

Valentine’s Day often comes with the pressure for everything to be perfect — the perfect date, the perfect gift, the perfect expression of love. This quest for perfection can lead to disappointment and overshadow the genuine expressions of love that may not fit the ‘perfect’ mold.

Truth: Love Embraces Imperfections

True love embraces imperfections, both in our partners and in the way we celebrate our love. It acknowledges that mistakes will be made, and plans may go awry, but what matters is being together and appreciating each other, flaws and all. Love is patient and forgiving, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day.

Myth 3: Valentine’s Day Is Only for Romantic Love

The commercialization of Valentine’s Day often focuses solely on romantic love, sidelining other forms of love that are equally worth celebrating. This can lead to feelings of exclusion or loneliness for those who aren’t in romantic relationships.

Truth: Love Is Universal and Inclusive

Love, in its truest form, is universal and inclusive, encompassing the love between friends, family members, and even the love we must nurture for ourselves within. Valentine’s Day can be a celebration of all forms of love, reminding us to appreciate and express gratitude for the diverse bonds in our lives.

Myth: Valentine’s Day is a Really Important Time of Year

Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a crucial event, a day when love must be celebrated suggesting that the quality of one’s relationship can be measured by the scale of Valentine’s Day celebrations.

This myth propagates the idea that love, unless displayed loudly on this particular day, might not be as genuine or deep.

Truth: Valentine’s Day is Just a Day

In reality, Valentine’s Day is merely a date on the calendar. It doesn’t possess any inherent magic or significance that elevates it above any other day in terms of expressing love or affection.

While Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity for a special gesture, it’s the cumulative effect of daily acts of love that truly fortifies a relationship, making every day as significant as February 14th.

Myth: Being Single on Valentines Day Means You Are Undesirable

The emphasis on romantic celebrations can make Valentine’s Day challenging for those who are single, often casting singlehood in a negative light. 

This can make single people feel like they have been left out of the loop. When examining the reasons behind single status some may feel it is because they are undesirable or unworthy or love.

Truth: Being single on Valentine’s Day Does Not Mean You Are Undesirable

Let me say it straight, being single is a blessing. Why?

Because it means you’re not with your jerk ex-boyfriend anymore.

Because it means you are free to fly high and live without compromise.

Because it means your next great adventure in love is still excitingly ahead of you.

Because it means you are giving yourself room to grow and fulfil your potential.

Because it proves that although relationships are easy to find, it’s love you are waiting for. 

Because you are a-okay with it.

Rethinking Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, let’s challenge the myths and embrace the truths about love. Let’s remember that love is not measured by the grandeur of our gestures but by the depth of our bonds.

It’s a day to celebrate love in all its forms, free from the pressure of perfection, inclusive of all types of relationships, and acknowledging the beauty of love’s everyday expressions.

Let’s unwrap the true heart of Valentine’s Day and celebrate the genuine connections that enrich our lives.

The poem featured in this blog post is from my first collection, ‘The Remains of Burning’. Available from bookstores worldwide. 

Categories
heart and soul Poetry

Mercy and Starting Afresh.

Mercy and Starting Afresh

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I rise early. In the quiet moments of dawn, when the world seems to hold its breath, I find the gentle, yet profound, presence of mercy. There is no searching, no pleading. It comes knocking, seeking me out, wanting me to leave yesterday and start over. 

As I navigate disappointments, errors, and unmet expectations, the concept of mercy  becomes not only a balm but a transformative force.

 I wrote a poem about mercy. Although it is quite simple, it is exactly how I experience it. The poem is untitled in my second collection ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’, but for the sake of this blog post, let’s call it ‘The Dawn of Mercy.’

The Dawn of Mercy

'Morning knocks on my window.
I lift the latch 
And let her in.
Mercy, 
Mercy, 
Mercy spills into the room
And gets all over me.'

In these lines, I attempt to show how mercy is a daily renewal. The act of opening the window is symbolic of my need and willingness to receive, to be enveloped and changed by this gentle force. I have found that mercy, in its quiet power, does not merely visit; it transforms, covering me, offering a fresh start, a new perspective.

The Echoes of Forgiveness

In another piece, poet Maya Angelou offers a reflection on the nature of mercy through the prism of forgiveness:

"The sun has come.
The mists have gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time."

Angelou’s words speak to the enduring quality of mercy that exists within the fabric of love and forgiveness. The imagery of the clearing mists and the dawning sun parallels the process of moving through pain and misunderstanding towards a place of clarity and reconciliation. It is a reminder that mercy is not just about the forgiveness we extend to others but also about the grace we allow ourselves, acknowledging our shared humanity, our capacity for error, and our potential for redemption.

The River of Compassion

The poet Rumi offers another facet of mercy in his work:

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place.
That's where the light enters you."

I love this poem. Rumi’s perspective invites us to view our wounds, our failures, and our disappointments not as mere sources of pain but as openings for growth, understanding, and ultimately, mercy. It is in our most vulnerable moments that the possibility for true compassion—towards ourselves and others—emerges. This poem encourages me to embrace my imperfections, to see them as the very sites where healing and mercy can begin their work.

Starting Afresh: The Mercy of New Beginnings

The common thread that weaves through all these poems is the transformative power of mercy. It is a force that does not ignore our flaws but lovingly acknowledges them, offering a pathway to healing and renewal. Mercy invites us to turn the page, to see every sunrise as an opportunity to start afresh, unburdened by the past.

In my life, this means forgiving those who have wronged me, or perhaps, more challengingly, forgiving myself. It involves a commitment to seeing the world through a lens of compassion, recognizing that everyone has their struggles, their ‘bandaged places’, and that we are all, in one way or another, in need of mercy.

Categories
heart and soul life lessons Poetry

Begin with wonder: The Art of Starting the Year in Awe.

Starting the year in awe

Embracing the Beauty of Early Mornings

There’s something amazing about early mornings. Imagine this: It’s only 7 AM, and already your eyes are wide with bright luminous colour as you take in multiple rainbows that span the sky. When I wrote these lines, I wasn’t just referring to the beauty of the combination of sunrise and rain but also about the possibilities that each new day holds.

Early mornings have long been my favourite time of the day. I love the cool, crisp air, and the gentle hues that paint the sky. I love the quiet before the day’s hustle. – a moment of peace and potential. For me, it is a time for reflection, for setting intentions, and for appreciating the simple beauty that brims in my front garden.

Learning from ‘Phosphorescence’ by Julia Baird

I’ve just finished reading “Phosphorescence,” by Julia Baird. In this book she talks about finding awe and wonder in the natural world. She delves into how awe can help us lead happier, more fulfilling lives. This message aligns perfectly with the sentiment of my short poem. Baird encourages us to find our “phosphorescence,” those moments or things that light us up from within.

Starting the year in awe is about intentionally seeking moments of wonder in the everyday – a stunning sunrise, the tranquility of a quiet morning, or the simple act of watching the world wake up. These experiences ground us, reminding us of the beauty and wonder that exist in the world, even amidst chaos and routine.

The Power of Awe in Daily Life

Awe isn’t just a pleasant feeling; it’s a powerful tool. Studies have shown that experiencing awe can lead to increased happiness, decreased stress, and even a more profound sense of connection to others and the world around us. When we start our year (and each day) seeking out awe, we set ourselves up for a more positive and connected life.

This approach to life is about slowing down, being present  and appreciating the world in its full splendour. When we pause to observe the beauty around us, we’re not just seeing it; we’re feeling it, and it becomes a part of us. This practice can transform our outlook on life, making us more grateful, more compassionate, and more attuned to the beauty in others.

Making Awe a Daily Habit

So, how do we make this a part of our daily lives? It starts with intention. Wake up a little earlier and take a moment to watch the sunrise. Spend a few minutes in silence, sipping your morning coffee, and just being. As you go about your day, look closer – the way the light filters through the trees, the sound of laughter, a bird on a wire. 

Mary Oliver wrote, “Instructions for Living a Life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” When I read this short yet stirring quote, I decided to put Mary’s advice to work.  The process – paying attention, observing life’s nuances and subtleties. In this attentiveness, astonishment naturally blooms, awakening me to the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world. The result – my second collection ‘A Strong and Fragile thing’. 

A Year of Wonder Awaits

Starting the new year in awe isn’t just about enjoying the beauty around us. It’s about finding joy and meaning in the small things and connecting more deeply with the world and people around us. As you step into this new year, remember my poem, Mary Oliver’s words and Baird’s insights. Be inspired to look for wonder, awe, and phosphorescence. Here’s to a year of consuming rainbows, not just at 7 AM, but at any time we are still enough to notice. 

The poem featured in this post is part of a collection called ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’, musings in reflection of the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world. It is available from bookstores worldwide.

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heart and soul

Hopeful New Beginnings: Embracing a Fresh Start.

Hopeful new beginnings

I remember writing this poem. I was walking a beach not too far from where I live. The ocean loomed that day. In my mind, I was searching for something to hang onto, which means, I was looking for words. Something I could say aloud and repeat over and over to prevent myself from going to a dark place.

Some words sound better when read aloud. When voiced, they come to life. They have a kind of rhythm, a kind of feeling that you can’t experience when you read silently. Speaking words aloud allows us to experience them. When spoken this poem becomes a declaration.

This is the hope we hold, the new will forever dawn.

The first line came to me as a kind of lifeline. It suggests that, despite challenges and setbacks, things will not always be the way they are. The night will end and the day will come, and then another day, and another, and another. 

Essentially what this means to me is, here, where I am right now, is not forever. Something new is coming, and for a lot of us, including me, that feels like hope. 

And although better does not rise with every new day,

Of course, we know that every new day doesn’t automatically mean things will get better. Even though days keep coming, improvement isn’t guaranteed with each sunrise. 

This line acknowledges the silent ‘middle’ we often experience on the way to better days. It speaks to the less noticeable, transitional moments when we’re in the process of moving forward.

During this “middle” period, it might seem like not much is happening on the surface, but beneath the surface, there’s often growth, learning, and preparation.

the backflow of life proves with time, that generosity, kindness and forgiveness are as forceful if not more, than ever the deepest realms of fear,

On the beach that day, I was aware of fear. I was afraid that newness would not come. I feared I would be stuck in pain and confusion forever. To counteract my fear, I asserted to myself that I would try to be generous, kind and forgiving even as I experienced lack, heartache and anger. 

These words suggest that good and goodness are powerful. Even if we are scared that things won’t get better, that the night will never end, we can make the hard times fruitful as we practice generosity, kindness, forgiveness and the like. 

and will with fixed intent, deliver unto us manifold facets of love.

Generosity, kindness and forgiveness are different expressions of love. As I use my power to practice these things even in hard times, I believe I will see them show up in my own life. This is not a transaction where doing one thing guarantees a specific result. This is simply an expression of faith that in being loving I will become less controlled by fear.  

Say the words you need to hear.

So, my friends, what do you need to say aloud that will foster hope in this season? What words do you dare to proclaim at the start of a new year? I say, write the words you need to read. Say the words you need to hear. Throw yourself a lifeline. Embrace a fresh start, even if you’re still waiting for daylight, by penning a poem, a paragraph, heck, even just a sentence to hitch a little hope to your heart. 

The poem featured in this post is part of a collection called ‘Beyond the Safety of Trees‘ available from bookstores worldwide. Immerse yourself in a symphony of 74 wilderness-themed poems and 40 evocative writing prompts.