Tag: healing

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heart and soul

Unlocking Your True Brightness: Steps to Overcome Self-Doubt.

self doubt

We all experience times of uncertainty—those moments when self-doubt shadows our confidence and leads us to question our capabilities, value, or decisions. I’ve experienced paralyzing self doubt, and understand the weight it can carry. 

However, I firmly believe that within each of us is an inherent brilliance, ready to emerge even during periods of self-doubt. Here are some strategies that have aided me in pushing past these doubts to fully embrace who I am. I hope you find them equally empowering.

Acknowledge Your Self-Doubt

First things first, let’s be real about our self-doubt. It’s okay to admit when you’re feeling insecure or unsure. I’ve learned that pushing these feelings away only makes them stronger. Instead, try to name your self-doubt when it shows up. Say to yourself, “I’m feeling unsure right now,” and acknowledge that it’s a normal part of being human. Just naming it can make it feel less powerful.

I also suggest writing those exact words down, as this is a way of spotlighting the emotion. Spotlighting is when we force ourselves to look directly at what we’re feeling, providing a clearer view and understanding of our emotions. This practice can demystify overwhelming feelings and aid in processing them more effectively.

Reframe Negative Thoughts

Self-doubt often comes from negative thoughts that loop in our minds—those “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to do this” thoughts. I’ve found it helpful to gently challenge these thoughts. 

Ask yourself: Is this really true? What evidence do I have that proves this thought wrong? Often, you’ll find that the doubt isn’t based on facts but on fear. Reframing these thoughts into more positive or neutral ones can make a huge difference in how you feel.

Celebrate Small Wins

When self-doubt is running high, it’s easy to overlook our achievements. Start by celebrating the small wins, no matter how tiny they might seem. Did you step out of your comfort zone today? Did you complete a task you’ve been dreading? Give yourself credit for these moments. I’ve found that acknowledging even the smallest successes builds confidence over time and slowly pushes self-doubt to the side. 

Just as one might compile a gratitude list to foster a sense of thankfulness, consider creating a list of small wins for five consecutive days, emphasising every achievement, no matter how small. This practice helps to build a positive mindset by recognising and celebrating each step forward.

Surround Yourself with Support

Self-doubt thrives in isolation. When I feel unsure of myself, reaching out to supportive friends, family, or mentors makes a world of difference. Find those people who believe in you and lift you up. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re feeling with someone who understands can make that self-doubt shrink to a manageable size.

If you don’t have anyone in your life who fits this description, consider seeking a mentor from afar. There are many individuals whose coaching and mentoring might be accessible to you through their books, online courses, or videos, even if you never meet them in person. When you engage with their content, tell yourself it was written just for you.

Practice Self-Compassion

This one has been a game-changer for me. Instead of beating myself up for feeling self-doubt, I’ve started practicing self-compassion. Journaling is a fantastic tool to do this. This act of self-expression allows you to process feelings of inadequacy or failure gently, acknowledging them without self-criticism. 

A journaling exercise to promote self-compassion involves the prompt, “What I need to hear right now is…” This simple start helps you articulate the supportive words and affirmations you need, allowing you to offer yourself kindness and reassurance directly. This practice strengthens self-compassion by letting you be both the giver and receiver of encouragement.

Take Action, Even When It Feels Scary

Self-doubt often wants to keep us stuck, but I’ve found that taking small, consistent actions can help break its grip. It might feel scary to take that first step, but action breeds confidence. Start with something manageable, and slowly build up from there. The more you act despite your doubts, the more you’ll prove to yourself that you are capable and strong.

My word for 2024 is “consistency.” I gave myself one task: to stay consistent in what I wanted to create. Whenever I feel self-doubt, remembering this task helps me to keep going. This focus on consistency has been key in making steady progress toward my goals.

Remember Your Brightness

Finally, always remember that your true brightness is already within you. It doesn’t disappear just because self-doubt shows up. When I remind myself of this, I feel a little lighter, a little braver. You have unique gifts, talents, and qualities that make you shine. Trust in that, and know that even on your toughest days, your light is still there.

My new book, “Looking for Brightness,” explores the theme of discovering the light within ourselves. If you’re experiencing self-doubt, the words in “Looking for Brightness” might be just what you need.

if you're looking for brightness
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heart and soul life lessons

Finding Light in Everyday Moments

Finding Light

I recognise that when we are in the depths of struggle, advice can sometimes feel dismissive or simplistic. So, I approach this thoughtfully: Could it be possible that within our toughest moments, there might be light that, when we’re ready, could help guide us toward healing or understanding? Could it be that every moment eventually shines in some way?

When Pain Becomes a Teacher

I know what you’re thinking: “How could my pain possibly be a gift? Imagine being hurt by someone you trusted deeply. Think about the confusion that followed, the way broken trust impacted your life. Consider how, for a period of time, the pain gripped you tightly. But now, as you look back, can you see how that pain might have shielded you from continuing in unhealthy or insincere relationships? Can you recognise how pain, in its harsh way, might have led you to a path of self-discovery and growth?

I believe at times, experiences that initially seem devastating can ultimately reveal themselves as profoundly beneficial. It might not be apparent immediately, but hidden within these challenging times often lies something significant. 

Stepping away from difficult environments enabled me to forge more genuine connections and gain a clearer understanding of my identity and true needs. Tough chapters, turned out, to be steering me towards a more authentic narrative. Some might call this grace, finding unlooked-for goodness in the trials we face.

Letting Go to Grow

Releasing what we hold onto—whether it’s people, places, dreams, or even our own expectations—can be one of the most challenging things to do. I’ve had to let go of more than I ever thought I would. But here’s what I’ve discovered: Each time I let go and face the deep sorrow of losing what I cherished, I find that I am gradually making space for new understandings and connections that reflect who I am becoming.

For example, When I was young, I had to say goodbye to someone I cared about deeply, which seemed unbearable at the time. But in hindsight, that goodbye saved me from a future filled with complications and hurt that would have been much worse. It opened the door for new opportunities, new relationships, and new growth. 

Through this experience, I began to realise that letting go of what I think I want might just help me find what I truly need. 

Finding Light in Everyday Life

Sometimes, the good things come in the most ordinary packages. I remember a time when I didn’t get the creative recognition I was hoping for. At first, it felt like a setback, but looking back, I see it was sparing me from exposure I wasn’t ready to handle.

Little exposure pushed me towards genuine creative connections.  It forced me to sharpen my skills and work on myself. Most importantly, it led me to true supporters, the people who deeply appreciated and resonated with my work. 

Sometimes, grace is found in what ‘doesn’t’ happen — like a seemingly failed venture. It might be hard to hear, but sometimes, what we miss can protect us.

Trust in the Unfolding of Things

Here’s a thought to consider; perhaps grace doesn’t align with unhealthy habits or attachments. It seems to partner with wisdom, taking a long view that prioritises our health over our desires.

Life offers wisdom, and wisdom doesn’t always give us what we want — it gives us what we need to grow healthier and stronger. Maybe sometimes, it saves us from ourselves — from our own ambitions, attachments, or dreams that are actually holding us back.

Wise Words About Suffering

I know what you’re thinking, “where is light in life’s darkest moments—like war, childhood deaths, or profound suffering?’ Well having never experienced war, or horrific circumstances I can only quote someone who has, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” 

Frankl believed that even in the face of unimaginable horrors, there is the possibility of finding a sense of purpose or meaning that can transform suffering into something bearable, even redemptive.

Following Light, Finding the Way

Here’s a thought that might resonate: Perhaps life doesn’t always make sense, and it certainly doesn’t always feel good, but maybe there’s a way it nudges us toward light, even when we can’t see it ourselves. 

Maybe grace is real and is working in ways we don’t fully understand, slowly helping to reconcile our hearts and minds, tending to the parts of us that need healing, and quietly guiding us toward a purpose that fits who we are becoming.

Maybe we fair best when we believe that every moment, every situation, holds value and even in the hardest moments, there is light to be found. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to see the good that are right in front of us.

Maybe looking for light in unexpected places, although challenging, isn’t engaging in toxic positivity, but rather embracing the complexity of life with honesty.

Maybe allowing ourselves to acknowledge the pain we feel while remaining open to the possibility that there could still be moments of grace, growth, or insight hidden within is a good way to live.

if you're looking for brightness
Categories
heart and soul life lessons

The Slow Unfolding: Understanding Life’s Lessons Years Later

trust the proccess

The Puzzle Pieces We Don’t See

Most of us experience  something that leaves us puzzled? I’m talking about insurmountable challenges that at the time, felt frustrating and confusing.  It’s like being handed a piece of a puzzle without knowing what the full picture looks like. You wonder, “How could this happen? What am I supposed to learn from this?”

For years, I held onto pieces, unsure of how they fit into the bigger picture of my life. Moments of heartbreak, missed opportunities, and struggles that I couldn’t make sense of have become in hindsight, years later, experiences that shaped me into the person I am today.

When Time Becomes Your Teacher

I have learnt that  life’s lessons don’t often reveal themselves right away. Sometimes, we need the gift of time to gain the perspective necessary to understand them. I’ve found that as I grow older, I can look back on past experiences with new eyes. What once seemed like a random series of events now feels more like the unfolding of an inevitable story, with each chapter building upon the last.

Although I do not believe that time heals all pain, I do believe that time allows us to see the purpose behind it. The seeds of the heartbreak I experienced in my thirties were planted in my young years. It was then that I gave others the responsibility for my life and fell in line, it was then that I gave up my power. And it is now that I recognize the necessity of embracing my own autonomy, understanding that the choices I make today are not dictated by the past, but by the clarity and courage I have found within.

It’s comforting to know that even in the thick of it—when we’re feeling lost, confused, or hurt—something is still unfolding; we are headed somewhere, and every struggle calls us to become more of who we truly are. Time is the teacher that helps us put the pieces together.

Trusting the process

One of the hardest things to do is to trust that eventually you will take something valuable from difficult situations. I’ve learned that just because I don’t have all the answers now doesn’t mean I won’t find them eventually. It’s like climbing a mountain: halfway up, after some climbing, I can see more than I did at the base. At the top, the view is clearer and wider. It takes time, but each step offers a broader, richer insight.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your feelings or pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge the confusion, the frustration, and the pain. But alongside those emotions, try to hold onto the belief that one day, you’ll look back and see how these experiences were guiding you toward something truer.

Celebrating the Unfolding

There’s something incredibly beautiful about the slow unfolding of life’s lessons. It’s like watching a flower bloom in slow motion, each petal revealing itself in its own time. When you finally get to that moment where some pieces fit together, it’s a cause for celebration. You realise all the questioning, and the uncertainty were necessary to forge a deeper understanding and appreciation of your experiences.

I’ve had moments where I suddenly understood why things happened the way they did, and why they couldn’t happen any other way.  The clarity that comes with these realisations is freeing. They helped me to understand my thoughts, feelings and actions and confront raw truths.

If you’re currently holding onto pieces of a puzzle that don’t seem to fit, know that time has a way of revealing deeper insights.  Trust in the slow unfolding, and remember that each experience, no matter how confusing or painful, can be rich in lessons that expand your understanding of both yourself and the world around you.

And to those who have been waiting for answers, for insight, for vindication or for justice for years I offer this: find peace in the unresolved. Peace is available even when answers are not.

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heart and soul life lessons

Narratives That Nurture: Stories That Heal Without Hiding Reality

Embracing the Full Story

For me, healing started when I accepted the whole story—all of it, the ups, when it comes to healing and growing, the stories we tell ourselves really do make a difference.

They comfort us, spark inspiration, and help us understand ourselves better. But if we want healing that goes deep and sticks around, we need stories that don’t shy away from everything we’ve been through, especially the tough stuff.

There’s often this pressure around us, or even from inside us, to just look at the bright side or find the “silver lining” in every situation. Sure, being optimistic is great, but it’s not so helpful when it makes us ignore or downplay the pain we feel.

The stories that really help us heal don’t just focus on the wins and the happy moments; they recognize the hurts and the tough times too. They let us see ourselves fully, without leaving anything out, and remind us that our pain doesn’t make us worth any less.

By facing the truth of our lives without covering up the tough parts, we build resilience and release ourselves from fantasies about what could, should or would be.

The Power of Keeping It Real

Think about the difference between a story that ends with “and they lived happily ever after” and one that goes, “they faced many challenges, but they grew with each one.”

The second story doesn’t hide the struggles or the pain; it includes them as part of the journey, showing that healing isn’t about making scars disappear but learning to see them as signs of our unique strength.

This approach doesn’t mean we focus on the pain for the sake of it but recognising it as a step towards understanding and peace.

A nurturing story doesn’t simplify the complicated emotions of trauma or grief; it opens a path through them. It makes room for reflection, anger, sadness, and eventually, acceptance, offering a complete approach to healing that respects every part of our human experience.

How to Build Stories That Heal

So, how do we start building these healing stories? I begin with journaling honestly. I don’t leave out the parts that seem too dark or too sad. I share these stories with friends I trust or in supportive groups where our stories are met with understanding and not judgment.

I also look for books, movies, and art that showcase this kind of honest storytelling. The story of Jonah from the Book of Jonah has been particularly helpful for me. 

Those familiar with it might recall how Jonah boards a ship, which then encounters a storm, causing the vessel to rock. This reminds me of a time when a relationship in my life became shaky.

As a result, Jonah was thrown overboard and swallowed by a whale. For me, the whale symbolises suffering, or you might say, the dark night of the soul. After I was asked to ‘leave the village’ because of this troubled relationship, I too found myself in the belly of suffering.

Eventually, Jonah is spat out onto a beach. Here, the story teaches me that my suffering was simply transportation—a way to move me from there to here, to a new place of freedom.

This narrative helps me to appreciate every aspect of my experience. I often ask myself, ‘Where would you rather be, on a rocky boat at sea with people willing to throw you overboard, or on a new beach?’

For those familiar with the original tale, you’ll see that I have made it my own. This means looking at the story as it speaks to my experience. I am aware that I am missing some plot points and as a result have made one story into two. However, I see no problem with remaining open and honoring both the context in which it was written and the myriad of interpretations it has accumulated over the centuries, as well as a new story that illustrates my experience and assists with healing.

This reimagining has led me to a narrative that fills me with gratitude—not only for the journey but also for the outcome, despite the pain, loss, and disappointment.

A Journey to True Healing

By choosing stories that nurture without hiding the tough realities, we empower ourselves to heal more fully and help others do the same. We learn how to use every part of our story as a source of strength.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and it’s different for everyone. It’s a personal process that does best with a realistic story—one that embraces all that life throws our way. By committing to heal without hiding anything, we commit to a life full of authenticity, resilience, and, ultimately, deeper joy.

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heart and soul life lessons

Visual Techniques for Dealing with Painful Thoughts and Emotions: The Power of Imagination

Dealing with painful thoughts and emotions is a universal challenge. For a while now, journaling has been my go to for offloading anger, frustration, feelings of rejection and dare I say it, red hot rage. I stand by a regular journaling practice – writing things down really helps me, however of late, I’ve found something else that has provided almost instant relief. 

Imaginative techniques can offer profound reprieve and clarity. One such method involves visualising emotions as tangible objects and placing them before someone wiser, someone more equipped to handle them. 

The Power of Visualization

Visualisation is a powerful tool that taps into our innate creativity and the mind’s ability to transcend immediate emotional turmoil. By giving form to abstract feelings, we can externalise and better manage them. This technique is particularly useful when I struggle with articulating emotions (finding the words).

Turning Emotions into Objects

I imagine my anger as a coil of coins, stacked and wrapped in brown paper (weird I know, but that’s what anger feels like to me). I visualise myself sliding these coins across a table, feeling their weight and the texture of the paper. This simple act of imagining my anger as something tangible provides a sense of control and distance from the emotion.

I see my sadness as a heavy stone, my anxiety as a bag of razors. By visualising these feelings as objects, I can acknowledge their presence without being entirely consumed by them. This practice allows me to interact with emotions in a new, more manageable way.

Seeking the Wisdom of Others

The next step is to place these visualised objects before someone wiser, someone more equipped to deal with them. A symbolic figure representing wisdom and compassion. For me, this figure is Love personified—an entity capable of understanding and sorting out even the most complexed problems.

I Imagine sliding my stack of anger across the table to this person. In my mind’s eye, I watch as they examine it and understand it. They nod to acknowledge what I have given them and I turn away.

The Benefits of This Technique

Externalising my emotions offers a valuable perspective, allowing me to view them more objectively. In an object, emotions are contained. They have limits. They can be controlled, analysed and transferred. Thay are stationary until we move them and only have the power we give them.

Sharing emotional burdens, reinforces the concept that I do not have to carry burdens alone. This act of sharing, through visualising the transfer of emotions, lightens the load and provides a sense of support and understanding. 

Visualising and then relinquishing emotions to someone wiser empowers me to take control of my emotional well-being. This technique fosters a sense of agency and self-empowerment, as I actively engage in managing my emotions.

By entrusting my feelings to a figure of wisdom, I create a mental framework where I are not dominated by my emotions, but rather, I am in charge. This empowerment can lead to a healthier emotional state and a stronger sense of personal resilience.

Putting It into Practice

To incorporate this technique into your routine, whenever overwhelming emotions arise, close your eyes, and imagine your feelings in physical form. Identify the dominant emotion you are feeling and imagine it as an object. 

Next, picture the wise figure you’ve chosen. Visualise placing the object in front of them. It is their job to deal with it. Only when you leave it, can they do so.

Final Words

After only a short time of practising this technique, I have noticed its liberating effects.  The technique allowed me to externalise and observe my emotions from a distance, transforming them from overwhelming waves into manageable insights.

Additionally, I found myself becoming more emotionally resilient. Instead of being swept away by negative feelings, I have a way to master them. Moreover, the empowerment I gained from this practice is incredibly motivating. It is reassuring to know that I have a reliable tool to turn to whenever I feel overwhelmed. 

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heart and soul Therapeutic Writing Prompts

Navigating the Loss of Your Former Self: Tips for Healing

grieving your former self

This week marks five years since I made the decision to step away from church and end my involvement in church ministry. While the reasons for this are complex and not the focus of this post, I want to say that leaving my denomination was a crucial step for preserving my mental and emotional health. In the process I lost a part of myself, laid my way of life to rest and began the course of grieving my former self.

Recognizing the Grief of Self-Loss

Grieving who you used to be is a unique and often overlooked form of grief. This can be just as painful and confusing as any other type of loss. When I left the church, I left behind a significant part of my identity. That version of me was deeply entwined with my faith community, my roles, and my routines. Losing that meant I had to redefine who I am and what I believe. 

When we lose a part of ourselves, the impact often ripples through various areas of our lives. We face not only a shift in our self-perception but also changes in relationships and our envisioned future. This loss can affect your finances and social life, among other aspects.

Allowing Yourself to Feel

The first step in navigating this kind of grief is allowing yourself to feel it fully. Don’t rush the process or try to ignore your feelings. Give yourself permission to mourn the person you used to be.  For me, this began after I had grieved a significant relationship in my life. It was the grief that came after grief.

It’s okay to miss a former version of yourself and to feel a sense of loss. Acknowledge the impact that past self had on your life and understand that it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, from sadness to anger to confusion.

My past self was more trusting. She had an exuberance based on naivety. I often miss having her perspective.

Journaling Your Experience with a Therapeutic Tool

One effective way to aid in healing is through journaling. Using resources like my book, ‘The Remains of Burning: Therapeutic Journal,’ can provide structured prompts and exercises that guide you in expressing and processing these complex feelings.

Consider writing a letter to your former self as part of this practice. This method allows you to confront feelings directly, provide closure, and articulate your emotions, facilitating deep emotional healing.

Seeking Support

Just because this grief is personal doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone. Seek out support from friends, family, or a professional who can provide a listening ear and a safe space to express your feelings. 

It’s important to note, not everyone will understand how and why you have changed. And to be honest, most will not even care. But finding one safe person who seeks to understand can be incredibly healing.

They don’t need to have all the answers; they just need to be there for you. I am fortunate enough to have a handful of hearts that acknowledge what I’ve been through and how it has changed me.

Reflecting on Your Changes

Write about what you’ve learned, how you’ve changed, and the positive aspects of your former self and what you’ve gained from that part of your life. This can help you appreciate the growth that has come from your loss.

Honour who you were, recognising that that person didn’t have what it takes to survive what they experienced. They did not know what you know now. They needed to morph into ‘you’ to cope with the current terrain. The new version of yourself is the one that will carry you into your future. 

Embracing the New You

This process includes discovering new interests, forging new relationships, and establishing new goals.  If this feels overwhelming, know that I understand. For a considerable time, after losing my former self, everything seemed underwhelming. Healing became my day job. I had to actively seek beauty just to experience emotion that counteracted my jadedness.

With time, I begin to recognise the small but significant opportunities that come with embracing the person I have become.

Finding Purpose

One of the most healing actions you can take is to find new purpose and meaning in your life. Craft a new vision, write it down, run with it.

This doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out right away, but start exploring what brings you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s a new hobby, a new career path, or a new community, finding something that gives you a sense of purpose can be incredibly empowering.

I’m the Same but Different.

Here’s a writing exercise that has been particularly helpful for me: In your journal, create two columns. In the first column, list all the traits you miss about your former self. In the second column, describe how these qualities manifest in your life today, perhaps in different forms but still providing value. 

For instance, I used to cherish my sheer passion for life and my unshakeable belief in a bright future. After completing this exercise, I realised these traits now appear as gratitude and a strong sense of being present in my current life. Essentially, I’ve traded the intoxication of future-based pipe dreams for a profound appreciation of my current circumstances and what I have now.

Final Words

No matter how you have changed, the best thing about losing a version of yourself is the opportunity it creates for growth and reinvention. It’s a chance to shed limitations and explore new possibilities that align with who you are now.

There’s no question that the person I am today is braver, less judgmental, less controlling, and more empathetic. True, I may have lost a bit of vigor, and certain places, spaces, and faces don’t resonate as they once did. However, it’s growth, not grievances, that drives these changes—and I think that’s a truly beautiful thing.

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heart and soul Journaling

Finding Freedom through Surrender Journaling

surrender journalling

Surrender journaling is a path offering a unique blend of introspection, release, and transformation.

Unlike traditional journaling, which might focus on the day’s events or future aspirations, surrender journaling invites us to let go, to release what we cannot control, and to find freedom in acceptance.

Today I want to talk to you about my experience with the liberating practice of surrender journaling and outline practical steps to integrate this method into your daily life.

What is Surrender Journaling?

Surrender journaling is a reflective practice that focuses on the art of letting go. 

It is about acknowledging our fears, anxieties, and the facets of life we can’t control, then consciously deciding to release them through the written word.

This method contrasts with conventional journaling by its emphasis on emotional release rather than mere documentation or planning. 

Surrender journaling serves as a gentle reminder that not all burdens are ours to carry and that there’s profound strength in vulnerability and acceptance.

The Power of Letting Go

The act of letting go can be transformative. Surrender journaling taps into this power, aiding in the alleviation of mental burdens and promoting a sense of peace. 

This practice encourages us to confront our inner turmoil, not with the intention to solve it on the spot, but to acknowledge its presence and then set it free. 

This process can lead to decreased stress levels, enhanced mental clarity, and a deeper connection with our inner selves.

Steps to Effective Surrender Journaling

Surrender journaling involves more than just pen and paper. Here are some steps to guide you:

  • Creating a Safe Space: Begin by finding a quiet, comfortable spot where you feel secure and undisturbed. This space should invite openness and reflection, setting the stage for honest introspection.
  • Setting Intentions: Before you start writing, take a moment to set your intentions. Ask yourself what you wish to release or understand better. This focused mindset primes you for a more purposeful journaling experience.
  • Embracing Honesty and Vulnerability: Write freely and without self-judgment. Let your fears, disappointments, and uncertainties flow onto the page. Remember, this journal is a private sanctuary for your thoughts; there’s no need for filters here.
  • Practicing Gratitude and Acceptance: Amidst acknowledging your struggles, make room to note what you’re grateful for. This balance fosters a healthier perspective, recognizing that even in chaos, there are glimmers of hope and joy.
  • Reflecting and Releasing: After writing, spend a few moments in reflection. Some find it helpful to read their entries aloud or to meditate on the words written. Consider closing each session with a small ritual, like taking a deep breath and imagining the weight of your worries lifting off 

Surrender journaling is not a quick fix but a journey towards self-discovery and liberation. It requires commitment, patience, and an open heart.

As you continue to practice, you’ll likely find your relationship with surrender evolving, leading to deeper insights and greater emotional freedom.

Personally, surrender journaling offered me a path to unburden my soul and embrace life’s unpredictable tides with grace and resilience. By committing to this practice, I took significant steps towards emotional well-being. 

Remember, the act of letting go first feels impossible. But in time as you commit to being consistent with this practice you will see and feel the benefits that surrender journaling in all aspects of your life. 

For more posts about journalling click here.

The poem featured in the image of this blog post is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’ musings in reflection of the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world.

Categories
heart and soul Journaling life lessons

Solo Steps: The Power of Personal Breakthrough

personal breakthrough
pic of a girl running freely

In life, every individual encounters moments that are pivotal to personal growth and transformation. These moments, or personal breakthroughs, are akin to reaching a new summit in one’s inner life.

Drawing inspiration from the poem “Because I Am Scaling an Inner Summit,” this blog post delves into the essence of personal breakthroughs and the role of journaling as a tool for personal growth.

Understanding Personal Breakthroughs

A personal breakthrough can be described as a moment of clarity, a sudden insight, or a profound realization that leads to significant personal development.

It’s like a lightbulb moment that illuminates a path previously shrouded in darkness, providing direction and purpose. These breakthroughs often occur during periods of adversity, reflecting the poem’s theme of overcoming internal struggles to reach new heights of self-awareness and understanding.

Journal Prompt:

Reflect on a time when you experienced a personal breakthrough. What were the circumstances leading up to it, and how did it change your perspective or approach to life?

The Role of Journaling in Personal Growth

Journaling is more than just a method of recording daily events; it’s a powerful tool for introspection, self-expression, and mental clarity.

Through the act of writing, we can untangle complex thoughts, explore emotions, and identify patterns in our behavior and thinking that may be hindering our growth.

Journal Prompt:

Write about a recurring thought or feeling you’ve noticed in your journal entries. How does it influence your actions, and what steps can you take to address it?

Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery

Each breakthrough, whether big or small, is a step forward in understanding oneself and navigating the complexities of life.

Again, the poem “Because I Am Scaling an Inner Summit” encapsulates what the journey feels like for me.

I realized that my capacity had diminished. Simple tasks, such as washing my hair, now required a significant amount of energy. Despite my life appearing calm and manageable on the surface, internally, it felt like I was playing an intense game of “the floor is lava.” I had to spend a substantial portion of my energy navigating my emotions, in pursuit of a personal breakthrough.

Journal Prompt:

Imagine your life as a mountain you’re climbing. What does the summit represent for you, and what obstacles do you need to overcome to reach it?

Nurturing Resilience Through Reflection

Journaling not only facilitates personal growth but also fosters resilience. By documenting your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you create a personal archive that can serve as a reminder of your strength and adaptability in the face of challenges.

Journal Prompt:

Look back on a difficult period in your life and write about how you navigated through it. What strengths did you discover about yourself, and how can they help you in future challenges?

The Summit Awaits

Personal breakthroughs mark our progress as we scale the inner summits of our minds and spirits. Journaling, as a companion on this journey, provides a space for reflection, learning, and preparation for the next climb. 

Take your solo steps with courage and conviction, knowing that some things can only be won by one. That’s you. You are the one that must climb to the summit.

Your breakthrough may be just around the corner.

The poem featured in this post id from the collection ‘The Remains of Burning’. Available from bookstores worldwide.

For more journal prompts click here

Categories
heart and soul Poetry

Mercy and Starting Afresh.

Mercy and Starting Afresh

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I rise early. In the quiet moments of dawn, when the world seems to hold its breath, I find the gentle, yet profound, presence of mercy. There is no searching, no pleading. It comes knocking, seeking me out, wanting me to leave yesterday and start over. 

As I navigate disappointments, errors, and unmet expectations, the concept of mercy  becomes not only a balm but a transformative force.

 I wrote a poem about mercy. Although it is quite simple, it is exactly how I experience it. The poem is untitled in my second collection ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’, but for the sake of this blog post, let’s call it ‘The Dawn of Mercy.’

The Dawn of Mercy

'Morning knocks on my window.
I lift the latch 
And let her in.
Mercy, 
Mercy, 
Mercy spills into the room
And gets all over me.'

In these lines, I attempt to show how mercy is a daily renewal. The act of opening the window is symbolic of my need and willingness to receive, to be enveloped and changed by this gentle force. I have found that mercy, in its quiet power, does not merely visit; it transforms, covering me, offering a fresh start, a new perspective.

The Echoes of Forgiveness

In another piece, poet Maya Angelou offers a reflection on the nature of mercy through the prism of forgiveness:

"The sun has come.
The mists have gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time."

Angelou’s words speak to the enduring quality of mercy that exists within the fabric of love and forgiveness. The imagery of the clearing mists and the dawning sun parallels the process of moving through pain and misunderstanding towards a place of clarity and reconciliation. It is a reminder that mercy is not just about the forgiveness we extend to others but also about the grace we allow ourselves, acknowledging our shared humanity, our capacity for error, and our potential for redemption.

The River of Compassion

The poet Rumi offers another facet of mercy in his work:

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
Don't turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place.
That's where the light enters you."

I love this poem. Rumi’s perspective invites us to view our wounds, our failures, and our disappointments not as mere sources of pain but as openings for growth, understanding, and ultimately, mercy. It is in our most vulnerable moments that the possibility for true compassion—towards ourselves and others—emerges. This poem encourages me to embrace my imperfections, to see them as the very sites where healing and mercy can begin their work.

Starting Afresh: The Mercy of New Beginnings

The common thread that weaves through all these poems is the transformative power of mercy. It is a force that does not ignore our flaws but lovingly acknowledges them, offering a pathway to healing and renewal. Mercy invites us to turn the page, to see every sunrise as an opportunity to start afresh, unburdened by the past.

In my life, this means forgiving those who have wronged me, or perhaps, more challengingly, forgiving myself. It involves a commitment to seeing the world through a lens of compassion, recognizing that everyone has their struggles, their ‘bandaged places’, and that we are all, in one way or another, in need of mercy.

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heart and soul life lessons

The Healing Power of Humility: Why Being Broken Can Be a Blessing

The healing power of humility

In a society that often glorifies strength and success, the concept of embracing brokenness and humility may seem counterintuitive. However, there is a profound healing power in humbling experiences that can transform our lives for the better. Rather than seeing brokenness as a bad thing, we can view it as a blessing—a pathway to self-discovery, growth, and healing. 

Embracing Vulnerability 

When we are broken, either by the pain we cause or the pain projected on us by others,  we become vulnerable, and vulnerability opens the door to profound personal growth. Admitting our flaws and acknowledging our limitations allows us to connect with others on a deeper level. By embracing vulnerability, we create authentic and meaningful connections that are built on empathy, compassion, and understanding. This genuine connection with others fosters a sense of belonging and provides a fertile ground for healing.

Letting Go of Ego 

Being broken strips away our pride and ego, revealing our true selves beneath the facade. Humility compels us to let go of our attachment to success, recognition, and external validation. In the absence of ego, we can focus on inner transformation and self-improvement. By releasing the need to control or manipulate outcomes, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and allow the healing process to unfold naturally.

Cultivating Empathy

When we experience brokenness, we develop a deeper sense of empathy and compassion towards others who are suffering. Our own pain becomes a bridge that connects us to the pain of others, enabling us to provide genuine support and understanding. Through this newfound empathy, we learn the importance of kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance. In turn, the act of extending compassion to others contributes to our own healing, creating a positive feedback loop of growth and resilience.

Seeking Help and Support 

Being broken teaches us the value of seeking help and support from others. We come to realize that we cannot navigate life’s challenges alone, and reaching out for assistance is not a sign of weakness but a display of strength and self-awareness. Humility enables us to recognize that we can learn from the wisdom and experiences of others, and their support becomes a vital component of our healing journey.

Rediscovering Inner Strength

In the process of being broken, we often unearth a wellspring of inner strength that we never knew existed. Adversity has a way of revealing our resilience, determination, and capacity for growth. By embracing humility, we tap into our inner resources and discover the courage to rebuild our lives. We emerge from brokenness with a renewed sense of purpose, empowered by the knowledge that we have overcome challenges and can face future obstacles with resilience and grace.

Being broken is not a permanent state of despair; rather, it can be a transformative experience. Yes, the process can take us to an intensely painful place, but we must recognise that that same process does not destroy us, in fact, it builds us. So, let us view brokenness as a blessing— a bleeding, beaten up, soul battered blessing that beautifies us the way nothing else can.

For poetry that walks through the process of being broken, from the moment your flame is snatched right through to when grief fold into gratfulness, take a look at ‘The Remains of Burning‘ available from bookstores worldwide.

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