Author: Lauren Lott

Words have always held a deep significance for me. They feel solid, as if they could exist somewhere tangible, stacked on shelves, crammed into corners, carried in pockets. It’s like they have always been there, existing before we ever spoke them.  Lingering, waiting to be thought of, or felt or acted upon.

More Than Words

This may seem strange, however hopefully most of us can agree that some words are weightier than others. Some stick, some lift, some stew, some seem to light a fire. 

Take a blessing, for example. It’s not just a polite compliment or a casual “hope things go well.” It’s something more, words that align with your life, that land deep, that feel like they were meant just for you. Someone looks at you, really sees you, and speaks with intention. And when they do, your shoulders drop, your breath steadies, something inside you loosens. 

It’s not just sentiment. It’s biology. It’s wiring. It’s real. Science confirms what people across cultures and faiths have always known: Words don’t just describe reality. They shape it.

Blessing is Bigger Than Religion

Nearly every tradition, from ancient to modern, recognises the power of words. Jewish & Christian traditions speak of blessings as something that imparts favor, protection, and purpose. Islamic culture emphasises barakah, or divine blessing, spoken over people and situations. Hinduism & Buddhism use mantras and prayers to invoke well-being and alignment. Indigenouscultures see words as energy, spoken to heal, protect, and call things into being. Even in non-religious spaces, people offer words of encouragement and affirmation.

The common thread? Words carry weight. Science proves it.

The Biology of a Blessing: What Happens in the Brain & Body?

A blessing isn’t just nice to hear. It creates real, measurable changes in the brain and nervous system. This is what I’ve learnt.

Words Reshape the Brain

Research by Dr. Andrew Newberg (neuroscientist) found that hearing positive words activates brain regions tied to motivation and emotional resilience. Words of blessing stimulate the prefrontal cortex, this is the part of the brain responsible for planning, hope, and higher thinking.

Spoken Encouragement Changes Heart Rhythms

The HeartMath Institute found that words of encouragement stabilise heart rate, lower blood pressure, and increase emotional regulation. When we hear a blessing, our nervous system shifts from stress mode to rest mode, making healing and clear thinking more accessible. Pretty cool hey.Words Affect Us at a Cellular Level

Studies in epigenetics ( I had to look that word up, basically it’s like a set of instructions that tell your genes how to work) suggest that spoken words influence gene expression, immune function, and inflammation levels. Dr. Bruce Lipton’s research shows that what we speak and hear alters the signals our cells receive.

Simply put? A blessing is not just psychological. It’s biological.

What Happens When You Speak a Blessing Over Someone Else?

When you speak life giving words over another person, two things happen: Firstly, they experience all the physiological benefits above, lower stress, better emotional regulation, increased clarity.

Secondly, you do too. That’s right. The giver of the blessing receives the blessing. 

Studies show that when we encourage others, our own oxytocin (bonding hormone) increases. Empathy circuits in the brain light up, creating a deeper sense of connection. We shift from self-focus to outward generosity, which research shows increases overall happiness and well-being.

Blessing someone else is one of the fastest ways to reset your own nervous system, increase resilience, and change the atmosphere around you.

How to Receive Good Words

If you struggle to accept good words spoken to you, you’re not alone. Many people deflect encouragement, downplay compliments, or feel undeserving. But here’s the truth: A blessing is not earned. It’s received.

The best way to get better at receiving is to rehearse, to make a conscious decision beforehand not to brush off or downplay encouragement and well wishes from others.

Let’s practice now.  Take these words into your heart.

A Blessing for You

‘May confusion be replaced with clarity.

May strength rise in you, even if you can’t feel it yet.

May the weight you’ve been carrying shift, if only a little.

May you perceive unearned kindness. May joy and peace, hope and love fill your heart, head and home.’

Receive that. Let that land. And when you’re ready, speak a blessing over someone else knowing that words don’t just sit in the air. They move. They create. They carry ideas. They connect us.

To You who is reading this,

On this, the first day of 2025, I find myself thinking of you, the hearts who have stopped here, whether by chance or by choice, seeking words to uplift, inspire, and illuminate. Today, I offer you not just a blog post, but a benediction for the year to come.

Whether you read it in your head, speak it over your life and loved ones, or say it softly as you still and surrender to what unfolds, I hope it touches your heart and provides words to hold as you move forward.

May you be tender with yourself,
gently holding the pieces of your life that still feel unfinished.
May you see in your shortcomings the beauty of your becoming.

May you find courage in moments both quiet and loud.
Those spaces that feel empty or overwhelming.
May you remember that, in every season, you carry the strength and substance to endure.

May your dreams be bold and unapologetic,
may you find the confidence to tend them,
nourish them and shield them from fear.

May you know the power of stillness,
the wisdom that comes from pausing long enough
to hear the whispers of your soul. In a world that rushes, may you reclaim the right to linger, to marvel and to savor.

May you create moments of joy,
by perceiving grace and embracing gratitude,
not because life is always easy,
but because you hold the power to choose them.

May you feel the deep, abiding peace of belonging,
to yourself, to the earth, to this moment,
to the lives you touch, and to Love that got this whole thing (life) started.

May you remember that you are enough,
in your striving, in your resting,
in the simple, miraculous act of being.
And when you falter, remember:
you are held, you are heard, and you are home.

This time of year is tricky for me. Growing up, Christmas was always a big deal. We went all out—special dinners, presents, lights, the whole shebang. But most importantly, it was a deeply religious celebration, centered on the birth of Christ 

Now, the songs and stories that used to fill me with joy leave me feeling uneasy. They bring back memories of people and places I no longer trust. At the same time, without those traditions, the season feels hollow—empty, even ordinary.

That’s the thing about deep spiritual wounds—they rewire your brain and make simple practices complicated. For me, religious practices such as communal worship or bible readings often feel like I’m standing on a trapdoor, like I’m being tricked. And so, I am reluctant to open myself up to them. 

Yet, I still want to celebrate Christmas. I still long to find meaning in Advent, to hold onto the season’s themes of hope, peace, joy, and love. But how do I participate when the spiritual practices that once grounded me now trigger trauma.

A Season of Healing

If you, too, find this season difficult, know that it’s okay to rediscover new ways to celebrate Advent and Christmas Day. It’s okay to let go of what hurts and embrace what heals. The beauty of this season isn’t found in tradition alone—it’s in the light that we allow into our lives, however we choose to honour it.

As I’ve reflected on this, one quote has been especially meaningful:

“Meaning-making is a human process and is not owned by religion. And that is something that is organic to our existential development.” – Hillary McBride

This reminder has helped me approach Advent with freedom. Over time, I’ve started experimenting with new ways to engage with Advent and Christmas—ways that feel nourishing.

This year, I’m choosing to reclaim Advent through quiet reflection, thoughtful giving, and savoring the beauty of the ordinary. It’s a quieter celebration than the one I grew up with, but it’s meaningful in ways that feel deeply personal and healing.

Focusing on Quiet Contemplation

Advent has become a time for contemplation, a season to reflect deeply, rather than following prescribed traditions or rituals.

For me, this looks like mornings spent in a time of stillness, with a selection of readings. Two poems and a coffee followed by reflection. 

This simple practice has helped me reconnect with the season in a way that feels safe and grounding. It’s a reminder that Advent doesn’t have to be complicated. I’ve also committed to spending less time on social media during this season, choosing to scroll less and connect more—with myself, with loved ones, and with the Spirit of the season.

2. Giving Thoughtfully and Intentionally

Christmas has always been about giving. It is one aspect of Advent and Christmas that I cherish deeply and want to hold onto. Like many others, we celebrate by exchanging gifts on Christmas morning. However, I’ve started to think about how I can extend the practice of giving throughout Advent as well.

This year, I’m finding small, meaningful ways to give to those I interact with each day. Giving doesn’t have to mean material gifts; it can be offering encouragement, lending a listening ear, or doing something practical like helping someone with a task.

While giving is a beautiful practice to carry through the entire year, I’m reclaiming Advent by being more thoughtful and intentional in the days leading up to Christmas.

3. Embracing the Beauty of Ordinary Moments

Advent used to feel like a season of grandeur—big services, sweeping hymns, and elaborate traditions. But now, I’m learning to find joy in the smaller, ordinary moments.

Simply put, it’s about cultivating an openness to the simple joys this time of year offers. It’s about looking a little closer—for example, the handmade, hand-painted wooden toy ornaments hanging on our Christmas tree. When I pause to appreciate and reflect on the creativity and time it took to craft them, it deepens my sense of wonder.

Or consider the Christmas movies we watch every year, reciting the lines we know by heart. By viewing them with fresh eyes and a renewed appreciation, they take on a new charm.

In these small moments of noticing and savoring, I’ve discovered a way to participate in advent that is healing and reviving.

What Advent could be for you.

If you are struggling to find meaning in the season for whatever reason, here are a few suggestions of what advent could be for you. A Season: 

Of Waiting – It’s okay to wait and allow healing to unfold in its own time. There’s no need to rush toward joy or resolution. Advent can simply be a season of acknowledging where you are and holding space for what is yet to come.

Of Light – Even in small ways, light can shine through the darkest of moments. Maybe celebrating Advent looks like gratitude and holding space for what is good, true and beautiful.

Of Hope – Hope doesn’t have to be big or loud; it can be quiet, steady and personal. Sometimes holding onto hope is hard, however, advent could be the perfect time to lean into hope, even if it’s small.

Of Love – I know love can sometimes feel scarce. Yet, even in the midst of heartache, grief, or indifference, Advent can be a time to give love action—to put legs on the love we feel and the love we choose. It’s a chance to embody love, even when it feels hard or uncertain.