Category: life lessons

Life Lessons

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heart and soul life lessons

Finding Light in Everyday Moments

Finding Light

I recognise that when we are in the depths of struggle, advice can sometimes feel dismissive or simplistic. So, I approach this thoughtfully: Could it be possible that within our toughest moments, there might be light that, when we’re ready, could help guide us toward healing or understanding? Could it be that every moment eventually shines in some way?

When Pain Becomes a Teacher

I know what you’re thinking: “How could my pain possibly be a gift? Imagine being hurt by someone you trusted deeply. Think about the confusion that followed, the way broken trust impacted your life. Consider how, for a period of time, the pain gripped you tightly. But now, as you look back, can you see how that pain might have shielded you from continuing in unhealthy or insincere relationships? Can you recognise how pain, in its harsh way, might have led you to a path of self-discovery and growth?

I believe at times, experiences that initially seem devastating can ultimately reveal themselves as profoundly beneficial. It might not be apparent immediately, but hidden within these challenging times often lies something significant. 

Stepping away from difficult environments enabled me to forge more genuine connections and gain a clearer understanding of my identity and true needs. Tough chapters, turned out, to be steering me towards a more authentic narrative. Some might call this grace, finding unlooked-for goodness in the trials we face.

Letting Go to Grow

Releasing what we hold onto—whether it’s people, places, dreams, or even our own expectations—can be one of the most challenging things to do. I’ve had to let go of more than I ever thought I would. But here’s what I’ve discovered: Each time I let go and face the deep sorrow of losing what I cherished, I find that I am gradually making space for new understandings and connections that reflect who I am becoming.

For example, When I was young, I had to say goodbye to someone I cared about deeply, which seemed unbearable at the time. But in hindsight, that goodbye saved me from a future filled with complications and hurt that would have been much worse. It opened the door for new opportunities, new relationships, and new growth. 

Through this experience, I began to realise that letting go of what I think I want might just help me find what I truly need. 

Finding Light in Everyday Life

Sometimes, the good things come in the most ordinary packages. I remember a time when I didn’t get the creative recognition I was hoping for. At first, it felt like a setback, but looking back, I see it was sparing me from exposure I wasn’t ready to handle.

Little exposure pushed me towards genuine creative connections.  It forced me to sharpen my skills and work on myself. Most importantly, it led me to true supporters, the people who deeply appreciated and resonated with my work. 

Sometimes, grace is found in what ‘doesn’t’ happen — like a seemingly failed venture. It might be hard to hear, but sometimes, what we miss can protect us.

Trust in the Unfolding of Things

Here’s a thought to consider; perhaps grace doesn’t align with unhealthy habits or attachments. It seems to partner with wisdom, taking a long view that prioritises our health over our desires.

Life offers wisdom, and wisdom doesn’t always give us what we want — it gives us what we need to grow healthier and stronger. Maybe sometimes, it saves us from ourselves — from our own ambitions, attachments, or dreams that are actually holding us back.

Wise Words About Suffering

I know what you’re thinking, “where is light in life’s darkest moments—like war, childhood deaths, or profound suffering?’ Well having never experienced war, or horrific circumstances I can only quote someone who has, Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, who wrote, “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” 

Frankl believed that even in the face of unimaginable horrors, there is the possibility of finding a sense of purpose or meaning that can transform suffering into something bearable, even redemptive.

Following Light, Finding the Way

Here’s a thought that might resonate: Perhaps life doesn’t always make sense, and it certainly doesn’t always feel good, but maybe there’s a way it nudges us toward light, even when we can’t see it ourselves. 

Maybe grace is real and is working in ways we don’t fully understand, slowly helping to reconcile our hearts and minds, tending to the parts of us that need healing, and quietly guiding us toward a purpose that fits who we are becoming.

Maybe we fair best when we believe that every moment, every situation, holds value and even in the hardest moments, there is light to be found. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift in perspective to see the good that are right in front of us.

Maybe looking for light in unexpected places, although challenging, isn’t engaging in toxic positivity, but rather embracing the complexity of life with honesty.

Maybe allowing ourselves to acknowledge the pain we feel while remaining open to the possibility that there could still be moments of grace, growth, or insight hidden within is a good way to live.

if you're looking for brightness
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heart and soul life lessons

The Slow Unfolding: Understanding Life’s Lessons Years Later

trust the proccess

The Puzzle Pieces We Don’t See

Most of us experience  something that leaves us puzzled? I’m talking about insurmountable challenges that at the time, felt frustrating and confusing.  It’s like being handed a piece of a puzzle without knowing what the full picture looks like. You wonder, “How could this happen? What am I supposed to learn from this?”

For years, I held onto pieces, unsure of how they fit into the bigger picture of my life. Moments of heartbreak, missed opportunities, and struggles that I couldn’t make sense of have become in hindsight, years later, experiences that shaped me into the person I am today.

When Time Becomes Your Teacher

I have learnt that  life’s lessons don’t often reveal themselves right away. Sometimes, we need the gift of time to gain the perspective necessary to understand them. I’ve found that as I grow older, I can look back on past experiences with new eyes. What once seemed like a random series of events now feels more like the unfolding of an inevitable story, with each chapter building upon the last.

Although I do not believe that time heals all pain, I do believe that time allows us to see the purpose behind it. The seeds of the heartbreak I experienced in my thirties were planted in my young years. It was then that I gave others the responsibility for my life and fell in line, it was then that I gave up my power. And it is now that I recognize the necessity of embracing my own autonomy, understanding that the choices I make today are not dictated by the past, but by the clarity and courage I have found within.

It’s comforting to know that even in the thick of it—when we’re feeling lost, confused, or hurt—something is still unfolding; we are headed somewhere, and every struggle calls us to become more of who we truly are. Time is the teacher that helps us put the pieces together.

Trusting the process

One of the hardest things to do is to trust that eventually you will take something valuable from difficult situations. I’ve learned that just because I don’t have all the answers now doesn’t mean I won’t find them eventually. It’s like climbing a mountain: halfway up, after some climbing, I can see more than I did at the base. At the top, the view is clearer and wider. It takes time, but each step offers a broader, richer insight.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your feelings or pretend everything is okay when it’s not. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge the confusion, the frustration, and the pain. But alongside those emotions, try to hold onto the belief that one day, you’ll look back and see how these experiences were guiding you toward something truer.

Celebrating the Unfolding

There’s something incredibly beautiful about the slow unfolding of life’s lessons. It’s like watching a flower bloom in slow motion, each petal revealing itself in its own time. When you finally get to that moment where some pieces fit together, it’s a cause for celebration. You realise all the questioning, and the uncertainty were necessary to forge a deeper understanding and appreciation of your experiences.

I’ve had moments where I suddenly understood why things happened the way they did, and why they couldn’t happen any other way.  The clarity that comes with these realisations is freeing. They helped me to understand my thoughts, feelings and actions and confront raw truths.

If you’re currently holding onto pieces of a puzzle that don’t seem to fit, know that time has a way of revealing deeper insights.  Trust in the slow unfolding, and remember that each experience, no matter how confusing or painful, can be rich in lessons that expand your understanding of both yourself and the world around you.

And to those who have been waiting for answers, for insight, for vindication or for justice for years I offer this: find peace in the unresolved. Peace is available even when answers are not.

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heart and soul life lessons

Narratives That Nurture: Stories That Heal Without Hiding Reality

Embracing the Full Story

For me, healing started when I accepted the whole story—all of it, the ups, when it comes to healing and growing, the stories we tell ourselves really do make a difference.

They comfort us, spark inspiration, and help us understand ourselves better. But if we want healing that goes deep and sticks around, we need stories that don’t shy away from everything we’ve been through, especially the tough stuff.

There’s often this pressure around us, or even from inside us, to just look at the bright side or find the “silver lining” in every situation. Sure, being optimistic is great, but it’s not so helpful when it makes us ignore or downplay the pain we feel.

The stories that really help us heal don’t just focus on the wins and the happy moments; they recognize the hurts and the tough times too. They let us see ourselves fully, without leaving anything out, and remind us that our pain doesn’t make us worth any less.

By facing the truth of our lives without covering up the tough parts, we build resilience and release ourselves from fantasies about what could, should or would be.

The Power of Keeping It Real

Think about the difference between a story that ends with “and they lived happily ever after” and one that goes, “they faced many challenges, but they grew with each one.”

The second story doesn’t hide the struggles or the pain; it includes them as part of the journey, showing that healing isn’t about making scars disappear but learning to see them as signs of our unique strength.

This approach doesn’t mean we focus on the pain for the sake of it but recognising it as a step towards understanding and peace.

A nurturing story doesn’t simplify the complicated emotions of trauma or grief; it opens a path through them. It makes room for reflection, anger, sadness, and eventually, acceptance, offering a complete approach to healing that respects every part of our human experience.

How to Build Stories That Heal

So, how do we start building these healing stories? I begin with journaling honestly. I don’t leave out the parts that seem too dark or too sad. I share these stories with friends I trust or in supportive groups where our stories are met with understanding and not judgment.

I also look for books, movies, and art that showcase this kind of honest storytelling. The story of Jonah from the Book of Jonah has been particularly helpful for me. 

Those familiar with it might recall how Jonah boards a ship, which then encounters a storm, causing the vessel to rock. This reminds me of a time when a relationship in my life became shaky.

As a result, Jonah was thrown overboard and swallowed by a whale. For me, the whale symbolises suffering, or you might say, the dark night of the soul. After I was asked to ‘leave the village’ because of this troubled relationship, I too found myself in the belly of suffering.

Eventually, Jonah is spat out onto a beach. Here, the story teaches me that my suffering was simply transportation—a way to move me from there to here, to a new place of freedom.

This narrative helps me to appreciate every aspect of my experience. I often ask myself, ‘Where would you rather be, on a rocky boat at sea with people willing to throw you overboard, or on a new beach?’

For those familiar with the original tale, you’ll see that I have made it my own. This means looking at the story as it speaks to my experience. I am aware that I am missing some plot points and as a result have made one story into two. However, I see no problem with remaining open and honoring both the context in which it was written and the myriad of interpretations it has accumulated over the centuries, as well as a new story that illustrates my experience and assists with healing.

This reimagining has led me to a narrative that fills me with gratitude—not only for the journey but also for the outcome, despite the pain, loss, and disappointment.

A Journey to True Healing

By choosing stories that nurture without hiding the tough realities, we empower ourselves to heal more fully and help others do the same. We learn how to use every part of our story as a source of strength.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and it’s different for everyone. It’s a personal process that does best with a realistic story—one that embraces all that life throws our way. By committing to heal without hiding anything, we commit to a life full of authenticity, resilience, and, ultimately, deeper joy.

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heart and soul life lessons

Visual Techniques for Dealing with Painful Thoughts and Emotions: The Power of Imagination

Dealing with painful thoughts and emotions is a universal challenge. For a while now, journaling has been my go to for offloading anger, frustration, feelings of rejection and dare I say it, red hot rage. I stand by a regular journaling practice – writing things down really helps me, however of late, I’ve found something else that has provided almost instant relief. 

Imaginative techniques can offer profound reprieve and clarity. One such method involves visualising emotions as tangible objects and placing them before someone wiser, someone more equipped to handle them. 

The Power of Visualization

Visualisation is a powerful tool that taps into our innate creativity and the mind’s ability to transcend immediate emotional turmoil. By giving form to abstract feelings, we can externalise and better manage them. This technique is particularly useful when I struggle with articulating emotions (finding the words).

Turning Emotions into Objects

I imagine my anger as a coil of coins, stacked and wrapped in brown paper (weird I know, but that’s what anger feels like to me). I visualise myself sliding these coins across a table, feeling their weight and the texture of the paper. This simple act of imagining my anger as something tangible provides a sense of control and distance from the emotion.

I see my sadness as a heavy stone, my anxiety as a bag of razors. By visualising these feelings as objects, I can acknowledge their presence without being entirely consumed by them. This practice allows me to interact with emotions in a new, more manageable way.

Seeking the Wisdom of Others

The next step is to place these visualised objects before someone wiser, someone more equipped to deal with them. A symbolic figure representing wisdom and compassion. For me, this figure is Love personified—an entity capable of understanding and sorting out even the most complexed problems.

I Imagine sliding my stack of anger across the table to this person. In my mind’s eye, I watch as they examine it and understand it. They nod to acknowledge what I have given them and I turn away.

The Benefits of This Technique

Externalising my emotions offers a valuable perspective, allowing me to view them more objectively. In an object, emotions are contained. They have limits. They can be controlled, analysed and transferred. Thay are stationary until we move them and only have the power we give them.

Sharing emotional burdens, reinforces the concept that I do not have to carry burdens alone. This act of sharing, through visualising the transfer of emotions, lightens the load and provides a sense of support and understanding. 

Visualising and then relinquishing emotions to someone wiser empowers me to take control of my emotional well-being. This technique fosters a sense of agency and self-empowerment, as I actively engage in managing my emotions.

By entrusting my feelings to a figure of wisdom, I create a mental framework where I are not dominated by my emotions, but rather, I am in charge. This empowerment can lead to a healthier emotional state and a stronger sense of personal resilience.

Putting It into Practice

To incorporate this technique into your routine, whenever overwhelming emotions arise, close your eyes, and imagine your feelings in physical form. Identify the dominant emotion you are feeling and imagine it as an object. 

Next, picture the wise figure you’ve chosen. Visualise placing the object in front of them. It is their job to deal with it. Only when you leave it, can they do so.

Final Words

After only a short time of practising this technique, I have noticed its liberating effects.  The technique allowed me to externalise and observe my emotions from a distance, transforming them from overwhelming waves into manageable insights.

Additionally, I found myself becoming more emotionally resilient. Instead of being swept away by negative feelings, I have a way to master them. Moreover, the empowerment I gained from this practice is incredibly motivating. It is reassuring to know that I have a reliable tool to turn to whenever I feel overwhelmed. 

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life lessons Poetry Publishing

Finding Clarity: Reflections on Light

finding clarity

Let’s start with a poem.


Epiphany

Love is light,  
And so is the absence of love.  
It is both the way we are remembered  
And casually forgotten.  
It is the loyalty of a heart.  
It is the betrayal of a promise.  
Light is darkness and the flame.  
It is a face in full sun  
And a face wet with rain.  
Light is the climb and the descent.  
Both hunger pains and a belly full of bread.  
I see it in your eyes.  
I hear it in your words.  
I hold it in your absence.  
I be it in rebirth.

The Dual Nature of Light: Clarity and Shadows

When we think of light, we often envision clarity and warmth. It’s the glow of the sun on our faces, the flame that lights our path. 

Yet, light also reveals shadows, those hidden parts of ourselves and our relationships that we may not always wish to see. Just as love can bring us closer to others, it can also expose our vulnerabilities and fears.

Light as a Metaphor for Clarity

In this poem, light is a metaphor for clarity, a way to find our path in the darkness. In moments of confusion or doubt, it’s the light of understanding that guides us. 

As we navigate the complexities of life, finding clarity becomes crucial. We seek to understand our feelings, our relationships, and our place in the world.

Illuminating Hidden Truths

Both love and fear have the power to uncover hidden truths in our lives. Love reveals our capacity for deep connection, kindness, and selflessness, shedding light on the positive aspects of our relationships and interactions.

It can bring to the surface the ways we cherish and support others, highlighting the strengths we might not always recognize.

Conversely, fear exposes our vulnerabilities, insecurities, and the darker aspects of our experiences. It forces us to confront the issues we’ve avoided, revealing the areas where we need growth or healing. 

Together, love and fear act as illuminating forces, helping us to better understand ourselves and the world around us. By acknowledging both, we gain a more comprehensive and truthful perspective on our lives.

Finding Clarity in Both Presence and Absence

In the final lines of the poem “Epiphany,” we are reminded of the subtle ways we can find clarity through the words and deeds of others. “I see it in your eyes” suggests that body language often tells us profound truths that words might miss. 

“I hear it in your voice” emphasizes that both what is said and what is left unsaid can reveal deep insights into our relationships and experiences. “I hold it in your absence” highlights how actions, especially the lack thereof, can speak volumes and provide clarity about what truly matters. 

Finally, “I be it in rebirth” signifies that we can find light and clarity as we rebuild our lives after difficult times. By seeking light in both the presence and absence of things, we open ourselves to constant epiphanies. 

There is always light, even in the pitch-black darkness. In fact, the darkness itself can be a source of light. Your pain speaks as loudly as your joy, revealing deep truths.

Both the living and the dead illuminate wisdom and understanding. No matter where you are, there is light. Look for the lessons in every situation—they are the way forward.

—

The poem featured in this blog post is from my upcoming collection, “If You’re Looking for Brightness: Words on Light and Where to Find It,” coming in 2024.

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Creativity life lessons

The Art of Reblooming: Finding Renewal and Growth

The art of reblooming

Having earned my diploma in floristry, I worked as a florist in the years after I left school. In that time, I learned a lot about flowers, and not just how to arrange them.

Flowers are amazing because they do so many things. They attract bees and other pollinators, help plants reproduce, and add to the diversity of life around us. Each flower has its own unique shape and colour, which shows how they’ve adapted to their environment. 

Working with flowers made me appreciate how they’re more than just pretty objects. They symbolise emotions, commemorate important moments in our lives, and maintain our connection to the natural world. Moreover, flowers represent growth and renewal, reminding us of the continuous cycles of life and the beauty of new beginnings.

Growth and renewal are fundamental aspects of life. This concept of reblooming—of coming into bloom again after a period of dormancy or decline—is a powerful metaphor for the resilience and renewal we can find within ourselves.

What Does Reblooming Mean?

In the world of floristry, reblooming is the phenomenon where plants flower more than once in their growing season. Similarly, in our lives, reblooming can mean recovering from setbacks, finding new energy after burnout, or embracing new beginnings after endings. It’s a reminder that it’s always possible to flourish again, despite past difficulties.

Embracing Life’s Cycles

Just as perennials in the garden bloom anew each season, we too can find opportunities for renewal at different stages of our lives. Recognizing that life is composed of cycles — each with its own time for growth and rejuvenation — helps us maintain hope and stay open to new possibilities.

How to Embrace Change and Reblooming

To successfully rebloom, embracing change is essential. Here’s how you can start:

-Let Go of the Past: Release old habits and beliefs that don’t serve your growth. This is akin to pruning dead flowers to make way for new growth.

Letting go is often a gradual process, like lifting one finger at a time before releasing something from your palm. It’s scary and lonely, and there’s often grief and doubt to navigate through. Sometimes, we have to let go of beliefs, people, or ways of living that we never imagined we would, making the shock of it all yet another aspect to process.

– Cultivate New Habits: Like a gardener nurturing their plants, cultivate habits and thoughts that encourage growth and positivity. Put yourself in the way of beauty, seeking out and appreciating the small wonders in everyday life.

Practice gratitude to shift your focus to the positive aspects of your experiences. Learn to be present, embracing each moment fully without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Embrace creativity and self-expression, allowing yourself the freedom to explore and develop your unique talents and passions. By doing so, you create a fertile environment for personal growth and fulfillment.

-Stay Open to Learning: Every phase of life has lessons to offer. Stay curious and open to the new insights each season brings. Learning is growing, and intentionally enrolling in education can move your life forward with assistance.

It’s like hopping on a train—the syllabus will take you somewhere, and by the time you have completed your study, you will have arrived at another destination. 

Learning is easier than ever, so don’t let time or finances get in the way. If you can’t afford to enroll in a course, commit to watching a series of YouTube videos about a subject, listening to a podcast series, or visiting your local or online library to indulge in learning.

Trust me when I say learning can be a lifeline.

The Benefits of Reblooming

Reblooming is not merely about recovery; it’s about reaching new levels of growth and understanding. It can lead to increased resilience, deeper self-awareness, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Each time we rebloom, we enhance our capacity to navigate life’s challenges.

Embracing the idea of reblooming can transform how we view our lives. It encourages us to keep evolving and growing, no matter what challenges we face.

Remember, with each season, there’s a fresh opportunity to start anew and bloom once again.

Poem used in the image is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing’, musing on the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world.

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heart and soul life lessons

Mothering Teens with Patience and Resilience: 3 Key Challenges

mothering teens

Mothering teens -Wow!! To say that I’ve had to learn a lot about patience and resilience is an understatement.

So here, I’m sharing some real talk about the highs and lows of mothering teens.

Responding to Mockery

When our teens make fun of us, whether it’s about our actions or how we look, it can sting.

Consider my experience as a longtime dancer. After years of identifying myself through dance, hearing my kids joke that I “can’t dance” felt like a jab at my identity . 

One day, inspired by their comments, I watched myself dance in the mirror. What I saw was a middle-aged woman executing all the right moves, yet not looking quite as ‘cool’ as I felt. It was enlightening.

This scenario made me realize that teens often view us through a different lens, influenced by contemporary standards and peer perceptions. Their mockery isn’t necessarily malicious but reflects our differing views on style, ability, and even appearance. 

I believe it is absolutely okay to tell your kids how their comments about our appearance or actions make us feel, but it’s crucial to approach these conversations in a way that encourages understanding instead of causing defensiveness.

Instead of reacting defensively, we can use these moments to discuss our life experiences and the changes we’ve gone through, including our looks. It opens up a dialogue about aging gracefully, respecting differences, and celebrating our unique paths in life. 

Navigating the Grief of Digital Disconnection

The presence of technology in my children’s lives has often left me feeling a sense of grief.  I know many parents of teens feel the same. 

This emotional response stems from witnessing our children engaging online, participating in a digital world that seems separate from our own. This can create a barrier that keeps us from fully connecting with our children, even when they are physically present.

This digital divide can be particularly palpable during family times, like family holidays, where the clash between the online world and the real world becomes more evident.

It’s not just the frustration of competing with devices for attention; it’s a deeper longing for our children to experience life without the constant buzz of social media, to engage with the world directly and create memories that aren’t mediated through a screen.

Although I have always put boundaries around technology in place, this does not quench their desire to be ‘with’ their friends online rather than with me. 

On the other hand,  I  have  also felt pain when my children are not interacting at all as it is often a sign that they have been excluded, leaving them without a place to engage. 

It’s a paradox: we yearn for our kids to engage and connect, yet we also wish they wouldn’t spend all their time tethered to digital interactions.

This particular parenting challenge uniquely affects those raising teens who are not only exposed to this technology but are also intricately woven into its social fabric.

Our parents, who came before the age of smartphones and social media, cannot fully grasp this issue, and our children, who have never known a world without constant digital connection, can’t either. 

To effectively process this grief, we must fully acknowledge the disappointments and challenges that technology has introduced into our parenting experience.

Recognizing these feelings is the first step in managing them constructively.

Confronting Fear

Maybe responding to their mockery or navigating grief around technology seems like child’s play to you. You might be dealing with serious issues like drug use, depression, intense conflict or risky behaviors. 

Your teen may lash out, using harsh words that cut deep, blaming you for their struggles, and making you long for the days when they were content and carefree.

You might feel lost, wondering where your joyful child went and if you’ll ever have a strong relationship again.

In these moments, the guilt, pain, frustration, and fear can feel all-consuming.

Fear—now that’s a word we need to unpack when it comes to parenting. 

Fear can manifest as a constant undercurrent in our daily interactions, or surge forth in moments of crisis. Either way, it demands our attention and acknowledgment. 

By admitting we are afraid, we can begin to understand how fear impacts our decisions and interactions, allowing us to approach parenting our teen with more awareness and compassion.

A Word of Encouragement for Mothers of Teens.

You can do this!

If you’ve made mistakes, remember, you’re not alone—we all have. 

If you’re feeling the sting of the gaps technology has created within your family, it’s okay to acknowledge that frustration; it’s a common and very real challenge for many parents. 

If you feel mocked or unappreciated, remember, their words are not the truth but merely a perspective that will evolve as they mature. 

If your child is struggling, whether dealing with emotional pain, or confused about their identity and place in the world, continue to show your love.

Build them up with your words and actions, be their biggest cheerleader, and show them all the ways you find them incredible. 

Serve them with kindness, offer them a listening ear, and when they turn you away, gently let them know, “I’m here if you change your mind.” 

And above all, keep listening, and when challenges become too daunting to face alone, don’t hesitate to call for backup.

To read how Journalling has helped me to navigate mothering teens click here.

Categories
Creativity heart and soul life lessons

Investing in the Unknown: When Is It Worth Risking Time, Money, and Energy?

investing in the unknown

In the pursuit of any creative dream—whether you’re a writer, musician, artist, or creator—there comes a pivotal moment. It’s that heart-thumping instance where you stand at the crossroads of inspiration and practicality. The question looms: “Is investing in my creative passion worth the risk?” I know, I’ve asked myself this many times and the answer is always found in unpacking my fears.

Understanding the Stakes

To me, investing in the unknown  often feels like wandering through a fog—exciting yet intimidating. This isn’t just about financial investment. It’s about the hours of practice, the emotional energy in creating something personal, and the vulnerability of sharing it with the world. 

Recognizing what’s at stake is the first step toward rational, yet passionate, decision-making. First, I acknowledge that there are risks and that is why I feel resistance and apprehension.

The Real Cost of ‘What If?’

Before you turn away from your dream due to fear of the unknown, consider the cost of the unexplored path. What is the price of not knowing what could have been? 

I have a habit of focusing on the risk of failure neglecting the equally significant risk of regret. When I pull myself up on this taking a more balanced approach, the thought of never trying then becomes a far greater burden than the potential loss of resources.

Risk vs. Reward: A Creative Calculation

Not every creative venture will succeed in conventional terms. But every effort has taught me something valuable. Whether it’s improving my skills, expanding my network, or simply discovering my limits, these are the intangible rewards that I feel outweigh initial costs.

When assessing risk, I ask myself: Can I handle the emotional and financial impact if this doesn’t go as planned? What might I gain, even if I don’t achieve my original goal?

These questions help to pivot my perspective from seeing an unknown outcome solely as a potential loss to viewing it as a field of possibilities.

Investment in Yourself Is Never Wasted

When we invest in creativity, we’re building more than just a portfolio; we’re developing ourselves. Each step forward enhances our resilience, hones our craft, and deepens our understanding of both our capabilities and our potential. These are the tools that build not just a project, but an expansive creative life.

When I invest in my creativity I am also investing in my joy, fulfillment, sense of purpose and satisfaction that financial success alone cannot match.

Navigating the Unknown with Strategic Steps

While embracing risks is part of the creative process, being strategic about it can reduce unnecessary losses. Remember these three things:

  • You can start small: Before I wrote my first lil poetry book, I posted poems anonymously on instagram. 
  • Seek Feedback: Seek out mentorship. For me this looked like entering competitions where my work would be critiqued.
  • Build Incrementally: Instead of pouring all resources into one big project, develop in stages.

The Leap of Faith

Ultimately, investing in the unknown requires a leap of faith, but most often it is a calculated one.  While not all my investments have paid off in ways I wanted, all have contributed to my growth and understanding of my work and myself.

So, is it worth it? Perhaps better questions to ask might be, ‘Am I taking it far enough? Am I allowing myself the space to fully explore and embrace the possibilities before me? Will I look back on this moment in my life knowing that with wisdom I courageously moved forward? 

Categories
heart and soul Journaling life lessons

Solo Steps: The Power of Personal Breakthrough

personal breakthrough
pic of a girl running freely

In life, every individual encounters moments that are pivotal to personal growth and transformation. These moments, or personal breakthroughs, are akin to reaching a new summit in one’s inner life.

Drawing inspiration from the poem “Because I Am Scaling an Inner Summit,” this blog post delves into the essence of personal breakthroughs and the role of journaling as a tool for personal growth.

Understanding Personal Breakthroughs

A personal breakthrough can be described as a moment of clarity, a sudden insight, or a profound realization that leads to significant personal development.

It’s like a lightbulb moment that illuminates a path previously shrouded in darkness, providing direction and purpose. These breakthroughs often occur during periods of adversity, reflecting the poem’s theme of overcoming internal struggles to reach new heights of self-awareness and understanding.

Journal Prompt:

Reflect on a time when you experienced a personal breakthrough. What were the circumstances leading up to it, and how did it change your perspective or approach to life?

The Role of Journaling in Personal Growth

Journaling is more than just a method of recording daily events; it’s a powerful tool for introspection, self-expression, and mental clarity.

Through the act of writing, we can untangle complex thoughts, explore emotions, and identify patterns in our behavior and thinking that may be hindering our growth.

Journal Prompt:

Write about a recurring thought or feeling you’ve noticed in your journal entries. How does it influence your actions, and what steps can you take to address it?

Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery

Each breakthrough, whether big or small, is a step forward in understanding oneself and navigating the complexities of life.

Again, the poem “Because I Am Scaling an Inner Summit” encapsulates what the journey feels like for me.

I realized that my capacity had diminished. Simple tasks, such as washing my hair, now required a significant amount of energy. Despite my life appearing calm and manageable on the surface, internally, it felt like I was playing an intense game of “the floor is lava.” I had to spend a substantial portion of my energy navigating my emotions, in pursuit of a personal breakthrough.

Journal Prompt:

Imagine your life as a mountain you’re climbing. What does the summit represent for you, and what obstacles do you need to overcome to reach it?

Nurturing Resilience Through Reflection

Journaling not only facilitates personal growth but also fosters resilience. By documenting your experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you create a personal archive that can serve as a reminder of your strength and adaptability in the face of challenges.

Journal Prompt:

Look back on a difficult period in your life and write about how you navigated through it. What strengths did you discover about yourself, and how can they help you in future challenges?

The Summit Awaits

Personal breakthroughs mark our progress as we scale the inner summits of our minds and spirits. Journaling, as a companion on this journey, provides a space for reflection, learning, and preparation for the next climb. 

Take your solo steps with courage and conviction, knowing that some things can only be won by one. That’s you. You are the one that must climb to the summit.

Your breakthrough may be just around the corner.

The poem featured in this post id from the collection ‘The Remains of Burning’. Available from bookstores worldwide.

For more journal prompts click here

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

Valentine’s Day: The Myths and Truths of Love.

Valentines Day

As Valentine’s Day rolls around, it brings with it a mix of emotions, expectations, and stereotypes about love. From cinema screens to store shelves, the narrative of romantic love is adorned with grand gestures, expensive gifts, and picture-perfect moments.

But beneath the red roses and heart-shaped chocolates lies the real essence of love, often obscured by these prevalent myths. Before the big day, let’s debunk some common Valentine’s Day myths and shed light on the truths of genuine love.

Myth 1: Love Is All About Grand Gestures

Valentine’s Day is synonymous with grand romantic gestures. Advertisements and social media often portray love as an elaborate affair, involving luxury gifts, exotic vacations, and surprise proposals.

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with celebrating love grandly, this portrayal can create unrealistic expectations. 

At nineteen, my boyfriend pulled out all the stops for Valentine’s Day. He showered me with roses, chocolates, and teddy bears, going above and beyond in his gestures. It was an extraordinary outpouring of gifts, more than I’ve ever in my life received for Valentine’s Day.

Yet, despite this lavish display, our relationship came to an end just two weeks later. The truth was, we weren’t in love, even if the grand Valentine’s Day gestures might have suggested otherwise to those looking in from the outside.

Truth: Love is in the Daily Acts of Kindness

True love is found in the often-overlooked acts of kindness and understanding. It’s found in the comfort of a shared silence, the warmth of a reassuring hug, and the security of a handheld during tough times.

Genuine love is built on a foundation of consistent, small acts of care and loyalty that strengthen the bond over time.

Myth 2: Valentine’s Day Must be Perfect

Valentine’s Day often comes with the pressure for everything to be perfect — the perfect date, the perfect gift, the perfect expression of love. This quest for perfection can lead to disappointment and overshadow the genuine expressions of love that may not fit the ‘perfect’ mold.

Truth: Love Embraces Imperfections

True love embraces imperfections, both in our partners and in the way we celebrate our love. It acknowledges that mistakes will be made, and plans may go awry, but what matters is being together and appreciating each other, flaws and all. Love is patient and forgiving, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day.

Myth 3: Valentine’s Day Is Only for Romantic Love

The commercialization of Valentine’s Day often focuses solely on romantic love, sidelining other forms of love that are equally worth celebrating. This can lead to feelings of exclusion or loneliness for those who aren’t in romantic relationships.

Truth: Love Is Universal and Inclusive

Love, in its truest form, is universal and inclusive, encompassing the love between friends, family members, and even the love we must nurture for ourselves within. Valentine’s Day can be a celebration of all forms of love, reminding us to appreciate and express gratitude for the diverse bonds in our lives.

Myth: Valentine’s Day is a Really Important Time of Year

Valentine’s Day is often portrayed as a crucial event, a day when love must be celebrated suggesting that the quality of one’s relationship can be measured by the scale of Valentine’s Day celebrations.

This myth propagates the idea that love, unless displayed loudly on this particular day, might not be as genuine or deep.

Truth: Valentine’s Day is Just a Day

In reality, Valentine’s Day is merely a date on the calendar. It doesn’t possess any inherent magic or significance that elevates it above any other day in terms of expressing love or affection.

While Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity for a special gesture, it’s the cumulative effect of daily acts of love that truly fortifies a relationship, making every day as significant as February 14th.

Myth: Being Single on Valentines Day Means You Are Undesirable

The emphasis on romantic celebrations can make Valentine’s Day challenging for those who are single, often casting singlehood in a negative light. 

This can make single people feel like they have been left out of the loop. When examining the reasons behind single status some may feel it is because they are undesirable or unworthy or love.

Truth: Being single on Valentine’s Day Does Not Mean You Are Undesirable

Let me say it straight, being single is a blessing. Why?

Because it means you’re not with your jerk ex-boyfriend anymore.

Because it means you are free to fly high and live without compromise.

Because it means your next great adventure in love is still excitingly ahead of you.

Because it means you are giving yourself room to grow and fulfil your potential.

Because it proves that although relationships are easy to find, it’s love you are waiting for. 

Because you are a-okay with it.

Rethinking Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, let’s challenge the myths and embrace the truths about love. Let’s remember that love is not measured by the grandeur of our gestures but by the depth of our bonds.

It’s a day to celebrate love in all its forms, free from the pressure of perfection, inclusive of all types of relationships, and acknowledging the beauty of love’s everyday expressions.

Let’s unwrap the true heart of Valentine’s Day and celebrate the genuine connections that enrich our lives.

The poem featured in this blog post is from my first collection, ‘The Remains of Burning’. Available from bookstores worldwide.