Categories
heart and soul life lessons

A Year of Receiving: You Don’t Have to Earn Peace, Joy, or Rest.

I’ve always thought how great it would be to just run down to the shops and pick up a bag of joy. On hard days, we could just grab a little peace off the shelf or a bottle of hope to keep us going.

Or if our kids were struggling with confidence, we could whip through the drive-through and order up whatever they needed to feel strong again.

And wouldn’t it be something if grief could be processed as easily as drinking a special shake. What if wisdom came in a box and resilience was something you could pay for at the counter?

Life would be better if we could just gain these things by buying them, wouldn’t it. But then I rethought it.

I realised that if these needs could be commodified, there would always be people left out. There would be those who couldn’t afford peace and those who couldn’t access joy. 

It’s a grace that these things aren’t transactional. Thank goodness they aren’t rewards for those who work the hardest or have the most resources. It’s freeing to realise that peace, joy, rest, and hope are available to everyone, no matter their socioeconomic status, age, gender, race, or religion. We just have to learn how to receive them.

What We Can Not Earn 

It’s a shared belief: peace comes when all our ducks are in a row, joy arrives once we get what we have been chasing, and rest is something we have to earn.

But that way of thinking is misguided and draining. 

The truth is you don’t have to earn any of it. Peace is already there, waiting for you. Joy can find you in the most ordinary of moments. Rest is something you don’t need permission to take, even if the world keeps telling you to keep going.

Why Receiving Feels So Hard

Receiving is a skill we’re rarely taught. We’re told that good things come to those who hustle. And in many areas of life, that’s true, hard work has its place. But when it comes to things like inner peace, joy, hope, and healing, striving is not the way to access them.

If this makes you feel uneasy, you’re not alone. It’s countercultural to believe you can simply receive these things. But it’s true. And once you embrace that truth, life feels a little lighter.

3 Steps to Learning How to Receive Without “Earning” It

1. Shift from earning to allowing.

It’s about practice. It’s about cultivating a mindset that shifts gradually and strengthens over time. Learning to receive without conditions is a process of rewiring old beliefs.

2. Notice where you block receiving

Pay attention to moments when you resist receiving, whether it’s a compliment, help, or an unexpected opportunity. Ask yourself: Why am I uncomfortable with this? Why am I resisting joy? Why do I keep working when I know I need to rest? Acknowledge those feelings without judgment and remind yourself it’s safe to receive.

3. Embrace gratitude, not guilt

When something comes to you freely, respond with gratitude rather than guilt. Receiving isn’t about taking from others, it’s about being open to life’s offerings. Accept that you’re here to experience good things simply because you exist.

Unexpected Goodness Can Still Find You

Some of the most beautiful, life-giving moments I’ve experienced have arrived when I wasn’t expecting them, and when I felt I least deserve them.

A stranger’s unexpected kindness. A moment of joy in the middle of a hard season. A quiet sense of peace, even though nothing about my situation had changed.

These moments remind me that goodness isn’t something we have to chase down. Sometimes, it finds us.

We don’t always recognise it when it happens. We’re often too focused on what’s missing or what’s next to notice the quiet gifts that show up in our lives.

But if we slow down, we’ll see that most of us, despite the presence of hardship, have the opportunity to experience goodness daily. 

This Year, Let’s Focus on Receiving

What if this year we focused a little more on receiving?

What if we practice receiving peace, joy, and rest, not because we’ve earned it. Not because we’ve worked hard enough. But because these things are available to you and me, just as we are.

Categories
heart and soul life lessons

5 expansive thoughts to lift your life.

A wrote a micro poem last year. It’s called ‘the memoir of stars.’ It goes like this.

‘Tell the story that makes you glow, freedom is in the mind you know.’ 

I scribbled it down after reflecting on a time that I had lost my glow. You know what I mean when I say ‘glow”? It’s hard to explain, but I guess you could say that it is a radiance that comes as a result of being free. 

Although there were certain pain points in my life at the time, the loss of glow wasn’t because of my circumstances. Jadedness dawns in the mind. My lack of enthusiasm began with constrained thinking. Thoughts like, ‘Things will never change.’ ‘I am inadequate.’ ‘Life is not fair’.

Things became, well, a bit tedious. Hoping for more seemed selfish, yet what I had was clearly  being unutilized. What I needed was a new way of perceiving what is possible. Instead of entertaining doldrums, I needed to tell myself a different narrative; to enter the world through a different door. 

Expansive thinking moves us beyond ourselves and allows us to enter the realm of possibility. It is a marriage between the real and imagined. There are a fistful of thoughts that bring what’s possibly good, true and beautiful to the forefront. Meditating on them increases joy and wonderment. Believing these thoughts will cultivate a new sense of freedom in your life.

Expansive Thoughts to life your life.

1. I don’t always get what I want, but I have what I need. 

This thought helps me to pull my focus from what I do not have. When lack is loud. When shortcomings shout. When loss is illuminated from every angle of the mind, this thought provides space to breathe by moving the focus from what is perceived to be missing, to what is presently good. When I think, ‘I don’t have a million dollars’, concentrating on need says, ‘Oh, but look, I have shoes.’ Opportunity to grow and gain the things I want will come when I make the best of what I have.

2. The world is beautiful.

It’s easy to get caught up in all the noise, to be entangled by bad news, the horror of tragedy and the faff of gossip. Yes, the world needs our love, our fight and our focus.  However, believing that the world is beautiful helps to hold off fear and to appreciate being here. Instead of saying to yourself, ‘it’s dog eat dog’ or ‘nothing ever goes my way’, look at the brilliance that is your life, the miracle of your existence and allow the creativity of the natural world to inspire. 

3. Every end is a beginning.

Straight up, this thought doesn’t make moving on easy. It stings if said too soon; it is an agony if contemplated before the grieving process is fully engaged. But after years, or when the clouds have cleared, these are the words that put to rest real disappointment and regret. This thought allows imagination to take flight, and prompts us to remember that there is a story after the story; a party after the show. And after every ending, there is something new.

4. I am not my feelings.

On days when I feel overcome with emotion. When I am overwhelmed with feeling underwhelmed. When I sense inner tension, feel trapped or slightly terrified, it’s helpful to  know that my emotions do not prove who I am. They are neither good nor bad and only exist to be felt and processed. They are separate from spirit (the real me). This thought cuts me free from beliefs such as, ‘to feel good, is to be  good’. Or ‘to feel beautiful, is to be beautiful. Or ‘to feel worthy, is to be worthy’. 

5. I am guided by love.

Easily mistaken from being a little woo woo, there is no doubt, this thought has been the most freeing of all. Believing I am loved, that I can align with love and that loving others is really the reason I am here has certainly liberated me. Love is life-affirming. To give and receive it is a source of satisfaction. When my glow starts to fade, love turns up all the lights. Sure, hard things, bad things, sad things are possible, but love always always always leads me on. 

(‘The memoir of stars’ is from ‘A Strong and Fragile Thing‘, musings in reflection of the wisdom and wonder found in the natural world. Available from Amazon and bookstores world wide.)